Thrown bridal shower as wedding gift?

I would think it was ok. I mean I don't expect anything from anyone. No one has to give you a gift. Also you chose to spend $40,000. Maybe that is all that can afford. A shower can cost a lot of money.

I mean I’ve not heard of that, but both gifts and showers are done graciously. Neither are required, and nor should they be expected. I would be so happy if my sisters took the time and money to throw me a shower, are you getting married for the purpose of getting gifts? No? Then why does it matter if they bring you one or not?

Showers can be really expensive, depending on where it is and how many people they host. They could be taking on a multi-hundred dollar burden to generously host a totally optional party for you. That is perfectly acceptable as a gift.

Also, the idea that because your wedding costs a certain amount, you are owed more from your guests in return is really gross.

I would not knock it. Showers can be expensive and time consuming for the host(s). Keep in mind that throwing a shower or getting a wedding gift are not required of anyone. Both things are completely optional and it is a very kind gesture for them to want to give you a shower as a gift.

I think it would be acceptable, showers can be very expensive especially for a large group. And it'll also be something special they want to do for you.

What you’re spending is completely irrelevant, as is them being “capable of doing both”. Say thank you, enjoy your shower, and move on.

Is this a serious post? It doesn’t matter how “capable” they are. No one has to throw you a party or get you a gift.

What you’re spending is completely irrelevant to your sisters financial situation and her idea of a wedding gift. I think you should just be thankful she’s throwing you a shower. So many brides don’t get one. Showers can get super expensive. I know for a fact my younger cousin bridesmaid spent a lot of money, maybe even too much, on throwing my shower. I didn’t expect an additional shower gift or a wedding gift from her. No one owes you a wedding gift either.

I can’t edit my post but I wanted to add we spent $35K on our wedding. Still we did not expect gifts. We were thankful enough to have people traveling internationally, cross country, and from hurricane impacted parts of America to celebrate with us.

I wouldn’t be focused on what I’m being given as a gift. That’s the wrong attitude to have.

This might not be the most common situation, but you need to move your focus off this, and onto the graciousness of them giving you a shower.

I’ve been in four weddings now and generally, the BMs don’t even give a gift as they’re already spending a lot of money on the wedding.

Also, just a tip, whenever you start a sentence with “not to be a ______, but” it means you’re being a _______.

Wow, really? You aren't entitled to gifts just because you're throwing an expensive wedding. You are no more deserving than someone spending $4000.

Be gracious and say thank you. No one had to throw you a shower.

I would be grateful. We are paying for everything ourselves, way more than we should have, really, just to have our families there.
No one is planning a shower or party of any kind for us. It would have been nice to have a bridal shower or Bach parties, but we aren't having any.

It is absolutely weird...that you are asking this question. I am capable of a lot of things, it does not mean that I would or should do them. The cost of your wedding is entirely your decision, and your sisters don't owe you a gosh darn thing.

I spent over $500 throwing a bridal shower when I was MOH for one of my friends and that's not even much compared to most. I couldn't afford to also give her a gift. They don't owe you a gift, they don't even owe you a shower. You're in the wrong here.

Don't be greedy.

You have the option of declining the shower if you feel you have the right to tell her how to spend her money.....................................................................and all those gifts.

How is the amount you're paying for your wedding determining how much your sister "owes" you in the form of a gift? I think it would be good for you to practice gratitude in this time leading up to your wedding. You'll want to come across as a gracious bride.

Wow. Your sisters didn’t tell you to spend $40,000 on your wedding - why should they help subsidize it?

If you don’t want a shower, tell them so they can save their money. But they’re not obligated to get you anything at all.