Three's a Crowd?

I knew a threesome once. It didn’t work out at the end. It ended being more like a love triangle, person A was more in love with person B, and person C was more in love with person B. So ultimately there was a lot of jealousy and fighting for attention and time with said person B.

Can you clarify if you mean polyamorous partners or a married couple who seeks out a threesome for occasional fun?

Not for me, I don't share ahaha but I guess people do that for more excitement sexually I suppose. A lot of people say that's part of their fantasy sexually.

View Quoted Comment Ditto. Depends on the situation.

We’re not interested in it but one of my dear friends is in a poly relationship. At first she wasn’t happy, if felt like everyone was constantly fighting for the attention. She was deeply unhappy and shut everyone out. Months later she reached out again in a completely happier place in her life and said the relationship is great now. I’m assuming they had some tough talks and all of them put in a lot of effort to make it work. I’m happy she’s doing well!

I have absolutely no problem with it, not relationships or “swinging”, maybe the experience brings them closer. It takes a lot of trust to see your partner vulnerable with someone else, to me it’s not just sex but the sharing of actual intimacy. The closeness to another human being, and like I said before, the exposure and vulnerability. I know sometimes sex is just sex but I can’t personally separate the two. Sex is the most physically close you can be with another human being. It’s deeply personal to me and I wouldn’t feel right having that experience with someone else.

Also to add, I’ve never hooked up before. I couldn’t do one night stands either for the same reasoning as above. It wouldn’t be comfortable to me. People all feel differently about sex.

View Quoted Comment I've heard that is common in threesomes so why even do it?

View Quoted Comment Married couples who seek a third partner.

View Quoted Comment I understand.

View Quoted Comment Married couples who have threesomes.

View Quoted Comment I can understand the perspective of sex being very intimate.

There's different reasons for married couples to seek out a third person to bring into their relationship and if it's done right, it often strengthens the bond between the two primary partners. It's all about the boundaries you set as a couple going into it and how you adapt when those boundaries are tested. I think when it's done right, its just as healthy (if not healthier**) than the average monogamous relationship.
However, I do not see myself ever wanting a third in my marriage, I think that would take a level of security that I can't imagine having.

**What I mean by healthier is that to be in a fulfilling and successful polyamorous relationship, each person needs to be receptive, supportive partners and you don't always see that level of emotional maturity in every day monogamous relationships**

Well if it's casual sex with a third person on occasion go for it. As long as the both people in a couple are 100% in agreement to do it. There are so many times where one person is pressured into it or does it to make their spouse happy.
We won't be having a threesome though.

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What type of boundaries do you think should be set?

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Why won't you have threesomes in your marriage?

View Quoted Comment It depends on both primary partners' comfort level. Some people don't want their primary partner seeing the third without them there, some aren't okay with their partner being in love with the third, some aren't okay with kissing on the mouth, some aren't okay with further uh bedroom things, etc.
Just depends.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for clarifying.

View Quoted Comment We're just not into it. We enjoy our time together and have no desire to bring anyone else into it.

View Quoted Comment I understand.

My FH and I have had many threesomes. The tough part is finding a unicorn (bi-sexual girl without a man). We tried couples thing once and it wasnt for us. Im not into being with other guys but I like the ladies and watching my man. However, it can get complicated. It can be fun to do together but you have to be strong as a couple, have a decent sex life on your own, and be able to talk through boundaries. You have to be able to discuss insecurities and feelings about it and put your relationship first. It hasnt been problem-free for us but weve had some great experiences together. If you have fantasies about it, nothing is hotter than exploring those with your guy.