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Sophia
Beginner April 2020

Three amazing sisters

Sophia, on August 14, 2019 at 9:40 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19

I'm recently engaged and we are planning on an April 2020 wedding. Once we set an exact date I want to ask my sisters and closest friends to be my bridesmaids.

I'm really struggling with one thing, however - I have 3 beautiful, amazing sisters and I am very close to all of them. Both my older sister (29) and one younger sister (23) both asked me to be their MOH when they were married, and I of course happily accepted. Both weddings were absolutely beautiful.

I also have one very young sister who is (15) and who I am also very close to.

I am at a loss as far as who to ask to be my maid of honor. I want to return the honor to the 2 who asked me, but do not want my younger sister to feel left out.

My older sister has 2 young sons and works part time, so she is very busy, but she is my "irish twin" and we grew up together, and went to private high school together so we were close growing up.

I work with my younger sister (23) and we see one another every day, confide in each other on every level, and are best friends.

My youngest sister (15) is in high school and is going through a lot emotionally, naturally, but she is super close to both me and my fiance (they talk every day, haha).


How can I ask just one of them to be my MOH? I will have 4-5 other bridesmaids (depending on who is available) in addition to my sisters, and wonder if it would be odd to have (3) maids of honor? Any opinions or suggestions would be very much appreciated - has anyone else tried done this?

19 Comments

Latest activity by Daniella, on August 14, 2019 at 10:02 PM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Technically, the two married ones would be matrons of honor and the 15 year old would be a maid of honor. You can absolutely have all 3 be given that position if you want. It's your wedding! If you are having multiple people in the bridal party, it should be fine (it may be awkward if you had 3 MOH and 1 bridesmaid or something).
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think it'd be nice to have all three as MOH
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I would just skip having a MOH all together, but having 3 is an option as well.
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  • Emily
    Super April 2020
    Emily ·
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    You can definitely have all three hold the honor. I have no sister, but couldn't possibly choose between my two best friends so they're both my Matron of Honor, and my FH didn't want to choose between his two brothers so they are both the Best Man. You don't have to follow a tradition here!

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  • A
    Devoted September 2020
    Anna ·
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    15 is too young to be MOH and have that responsibility. Ask your other 2 sisters and have 2 MOH
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  • Lauren
    VIP February 2020
    Lauren ·
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    You could have more than one MOH if you wanted to! My friend just got married & had 3 MOHs (her 3 sisters). They made a pact when they were younger to always be each others' MOHs. It worked out fine!

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  • Sophia
    Beginner April 2020
    Sophia ·
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    Thanks everyone for your input!! This really helps!

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I’m having two MOHs but I seriously considered having none. I don’t think it’s a big deal if you want to have all three, but no MOH is also a good option if you want everyone to feel equally honored.
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  • B
    Super July 2018
    Brittany ·
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    I would have all 3 as MOHs! It's very common Smiley smile

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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    Not necessarily. She could still help plan a bridal shower or bachelorette party (assuming its age inclusive). Yeah she may not have the funds to contribute but she can still help other ways.

    OP, just have all 3 of them take the roles. The 2 married would be Matrons of Honor and little sis Maid of Honor. It wouldnt make a difference especially if you're having 4 or 5 other bms.
    If you were only having 1 other BM I'd say just keep them all BM level as to not hurt feelings.
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  • M
    Devoted October 2019
    Melodie ·
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    I don't think there is a right or wrong way--whatever your gut says!

    Lucky you that you have three great sisters who you are close to Smiley smile

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  • Kayla
    Devoted November 2020
    Kayla ·
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    There is definitely no right or wrong way to go here. I couldn't decide between my two best friends, so I asked them both to be MOH. I don't see anything wrong with asking all three.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    First of all, congrats on your engagement! Second of all, stop stressing over little things, or you will have a rough time wedding planning. If you want all of your sisters to be your Matrons/Maid of Honor, then have them be that. You don't ask them based off what they can do for you, so their availability etc. isn't important....you ask them because of how close they are to you. It sounds like you are close to all 3 of your sisters, so giving them all the honor sounds like the most logical choice, IMO.

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  • October2019
    Dedicated October 2019
    October2019 ·
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    I would ask all of them to be the maid of honor or none. I have three sisters as well and a cousin and a four really great friends. I couldn't ask one of them so I don't have a maide or matron of honor I asked then all to stand up with me they all said yes. One sister has helped with invitations, two friends went to look at dresses with me, sisters and friends are helping cook and set up, two friends offered to throw me a shower. It prevents hurt feelings and the like by just giving everyone one the same title.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    You may have 2 matrons of honor, the married sisters, and one maid of honor, the unmarried sister. It is up to you, does not matter to or involve anyone else. A MOH is usually y
    The one or ones you are closest to, or have known for longer. But they are all close, and you have known each other since birth ( or the younger one), so do not try to designate any as BM if you want all MOH. MOH does not necessarily do any more. It depends on who has time, money, and an interest in volunteering to help out, or plan a shower or bach .
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    I have 4 sisters, and 35 first cousin women within 5 years of my age , living nearby. I had 3 friends and my Godmother as BP. Avoiding issues that would have put one family member in possible conflict with another. It was a wise choice. Do what keeps a peaceable kingdom .
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  • Sophia
    Beginner April 2020
    Sophia ·
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    This is all great advice - thanks so much for everyone's input. I think I will ask all 3 of them, as my huge extended family and all my friends know we are close, so it will make sense to everyone. None of them would ever EXPRESS that they were upset or cause a problem if I only chose one of them, but I would never want to risk them feeling that way. I'm not worried about the youngest only being 15 as I am not assigning them any responsibility - I just want them to stand with me and be moral support day-of, and to look gorgeous like they always do Smiley smile

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  • Annemarie
    Devoted October 2019
    Annemarie ·
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    Lots of people include multiple sisters and call them co-maids of honor.

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  • Daniella
    Savvy April 2021
    Daniella ·
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    I ended up picking my best friend since I couldn’t decide between my three sisters either!
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