Thoughts on non wedding-y reception

We've done a lot of these, and I love them. They feel classy, sophisticated and personal. The ones that I've been to have done a toast, a first dance, even some other toasts and a cake cutting, but with a little less fanfare than a bigger, more formally structured affair. It's not like, 'okay, at 5:30 we'll do a toast, at 5:45 we'll do a first dance' it's a little more organic than that.

Find a great DJ who gets you and you should be good to go!

Sounds great. Too many toast are boring (no one understands the inside jokes), my single friends are all in their mid 30s so the bouquet toss is humiliating, and FH's single friends would all be at the bar during the garter toss.

That's more or less what we did, although we did have the cake cutting. (We actually had it before dinner, to give the staff time to cut and plate the cake before dessert time, and also so that it wouldn't be a signal to people to leave.) Another thing we did was to ask a couple of guys in advance to dance with us right after our first dance, to signal that it was time for guests to get out onto the floor to dance. People told us they really appreciated having a relaxed social time, instead of one big "event" after another.

Most of the weddings I've been to have been this format. Personally, I'm a fan of the first dance after dinner and it definitely opens the room back up for people to move around. Weddings are the only party where people think dancing before dinner works. I don't get it.

I've also been to weddings like that. I was grateful to be fed an amazing meal and have drinks flow all evening long, and enjoyed great conversation with the bride and groom and the other guests. I doubt anybody will be confused. I didn't get whether you'll have a dance floor with music - if there is, then people will probably stick around longer and dance. Otherwise, they might leave earlier than in a big reception with a dance floor, but I'm sure everyone will appreciate it and have a great time.

I'm a fan of less toasts and such, too. We did our cake cutting and first dance immediately after dinner and then just let the party flow from there. I don't think people are confused - I think the most confusing thing is when the cake cutting is actually too late and people don't know if they can leave yet.

@VC, we'll have a dance floor! Not too big, given our small size :-) That's all FH and I want to do: eat, drink, dance, and be merry. @2d Bride, great idea about asking a couple guys in advance to come out on the dance floor! I might ask my teenage cousins, they LOVE to show off their dance moves lol.

That's how we are doing ours- cake-maybe toasts if people stand up and do so- and that's about it. With less than 20 people it's hard to have a big weddingey reception. it's fine- people know why they are there. Enjoy yourselves and your family that support you.

Thanks!

I don't think anyone will be confused. I have never been to a wedding like this, but I would have loved it! Even though I've enjoyed myself at all kinds of weddings, I sometimes wish the bride and groom would have been able to spend more time with their guests like this.

My fiance and I are opting for a non-traditional reception, too. I want quality time with family and friends! We're skipping the bouquet toss and garter toss, no games, no announcing of the bridal parties... I think the only traditions we are keeping are the first dance, father/daughter and mother/son dance (more for the parents than us), and cake cutting.

We are thinking of doing something similar to Ashley. No grand announcement, no bp announcement, no bouquet toss, no garter toss. We are going to toasts likely after dinner leading into first dance and father/daughter and grandmother/grandson dance. We are also going to do a cupcake cutting later in the evening. I do think receptions are more fun when there is less stopping for the traditions.

We skipped a lot of "wedding" stuff (dances, grand entrance, bouquet/garter toss, etc) because it just didn't suit us. We provided plenty of good food and drinks in a beautiful setting; it's hard not to have a good time with that as your base!

@jessi, glad to hear it worked out so well for you!

I haven't been to a wedding like this, but this is the type of reception we're looking to have! I don't think guests would be confused, it will just be different.

I think with a small guest list that is the way to go. I am doing a very small intimate gathering like that also. I think it will be a nice intimate affair, more personalized and you'll actually get ti mingle with your guests and they won't feel like they never talked to you all night.