Those of you who have booted a bridesmaid or demoted a MOH.

Are you thinking about it? lol

Janeen it has crossed my mind. Only thing stopping me is the fact that it is my sister.

Ooh ouch. Wanna talk about it?

Oh no! I haven't but like Janeen, I am here to listen and talk it out with you!

I thought about it, and my sisters told me to, the entire engagement. But I didn't want to go there. I couldn't see how our friendship could possibly survive it - which our weak friendship was a main reason I wanted to. She just was not doing anything and not being supportive

I can't believe that anyone would actually do this unless a) there was something catastrophic that she did b) she asked to be released for personal reasons

Oh no!! Well just recently had to do this with a BM. Some mean crap went down. It's a long story. But it was not easy and it went horribly.

Sorry to hear this for you. Feel free to talk about it.

AWFUL...My original MOH was my crazy sister. She's insane. She dropped out of the wedding for reasons I'm still unaware of and caused a lot of drama within the family and said some horrid things to me. This was back in June and I told her when she told me that she quit to think very carefully about her decision because I wouldn't let her back in if she dropped out. So she did.

And apparently up until 2 weeks ago she thought she would still be standing up in the wedding even though she has been replaced and my bridal party is now as it should be. She got angry and basically told me was not going to the wedding, which I replied it was her own decision. This week she is over it and behaving but she is so hot and cold that I am just waiting for her next blow up. I have a couple threads posted about it back in June and August if you want to read some craziness!

What is your sister doing that you want to fire her?

I kicked my MOH out of the entire bridal party. We were best friends for years- we always had a pact that we would be each others MOH's. When my time came .. she accepted being the MOH. A few months into my engagement...she started acting super weird, and ignoring me. I tried to sit down and talk to her numerous times. The final straw was when my bridal party and I went to a bridal show. She was the biggest baby the whole entire time and didn't even want to be there. She even sat out in the car for a while, while the rest of us girls had a fun time.I just had enough of her. I called her on the phone and we talked it out and I told her I think its best if she isn't in the bridal party at all. No hard feelings, but you clearly have some personal issues going on that you don't want to tell me so focus on yourself. It was hard- but in the end I wouldn't want it any other way.

Don't get me wrong I love my sister but she is a pain. I finalized colors for the dresses this weekend at David's Bridal. Sent her a picture of the colors and all she said was Ok? I got a better reaction from FH on the colors. Then she asked if they still had to be long dresses. Yes they do, that's what I have said from the beginning. She said well I found one I like but it's a short one. Sorry it has to be long. Then when I said they should be ordere by the end of December she goes I will try to fit it in, I have a lot going on right now. Well simple if you don't order the dress then you won't be in the wedding. She is fighting me on everything. I want to tell her you already had your wedding and didn't have an opinion then so stop it!

Is she an older sister? Is she a maid or matron of honor?

So since she's actually related to you, and she's already been asked, what do you think the outcome will be if you asked her to step back or kicked her out entirely? Is it going to cause a rift? Is she still going to give you her opinion no matter if she's a guest or in the bridal party? Are your parents going to get involved?

I'm not saying you're not right, but before any action is taken, think to yourself what the probable consequences would be and if the probable consequences will outweigh putting up with her in the long run.

Another way is to just do what you're doing. Give her a deadline and say "Okay, well if it's not done by that point, I guess you won't be in the wedding." And whenever she gives you her opinion, change the subject. With family, this is sticky....you can't as easily distance yourself as you can with a friend. She does sound like a pain.

There is something about weddings that makes women bat shit crazy. I've not had to kick one out.. yet... but so far the situation with one of my BMs is very close to the story Macksgirl shared, without the MOH pact. I've even had a conversation with her, giving her the option to back out if she needs to, but she wouldn't do it. Emailed the drop-dead dress ordering date last week, and she's not responded at all. Guess we'll find out that by then if she wants to be in the wedding....

She is older by 5 years. My mom has already agreed and said I deserve a better MOH. FH has told me I should have asked my 2 best friends to be the MOHs. I know they would do a wonderful job. I have 6 bridesmaids and 1 MOH. Everyone is excited to go look at dresses and buy, everyone except my sister. If she is not MOH and just a bridesmaid she might be ok with it. If I take her out all together I don't even think she would come to the wedding.

Okay, so you do want her to come right? Have you come right out and said, "this is such an exciting time of life for me that will (hopefully) only happen once. I want to look back on this time with joy about how exciting it was and how happy everyone was for me. I am feeling a lot of negativity when I talk with you about this."

Then you could always ask her to step back or turn it around on her and say, "I've noticed you've been very unhappy lately. What's going on?"

I do understand her questioning your dress choice, as she is part of the group that has to wear them all night and should be looking for what is comfortable and looks best on each of them individually where most brides are only focused on the way the dress looks when it comes to bridesmaids, so I would ignore her not liking the dress you chose...it DOES happen just let it roll of your shoulders. As for her "fitting in" the ordering of the dress, I would just tell her that it is the final deadline. If you dont order, you don't have a dress and if you don't have a dress you can't be in the wedding.

I have asked her plenty of times if she doesn't want to be in the bridal party and she always says no she wants to be. If she didn't come to the wedding it wouldn't be the end of the world but at the same time I would be a little hurt. She has never supported me on anything so I kind of expected it. My family is not very close. When making the guest list I realized I will have no one at the wedding compared to FH. So my sister not being there would make it even less people to support me.

So IMO you have two options:

1. Keep her as your MOH and in the wedding party even though she isn't supporting your wishes and decisions just so that you have more guests there on your side and deal with her and her attitude

-or-

2. Ask her to step down if she doesn't step up and start acting like an adult, taking the chance of her not being at your wedding to support you even though she isn't supporting you right now during the planning process

Oh honey, I know how you feel. I'm an only child and an only grandchild. My expected family members number around......4 lol. Are you having a number of friends come? I know everyone expects family to be our number one cheerleaders, but that's not always true. You DO NOT have to have your sister as your MoH. When you look back on your wedding pictures, do you want to remember how much fun you had with your maids? Or do you want to look at the pictures and remember how unsupported you felt? That's how I would guide your decision.

Ok, so she has not even done anything wrong. Your dress ordering deadline is December which is two months away. So far she has questioned if the dress has to be long and the color. Big deal! She is the one wearing it and paying for it, it makes sense that she would want to like it. If she doesn't order a dress then she can't be in the wedding. It is that simple. There is no need to start drama by kicking out your sister.

Janeen that is why I love you! You and Maltese have some of the best advice on here. Thankfully I will have friends at the wedding. I will have more friends than family, but I knew that even before I got engaged. I think it's time my sister and I had a heart to heart. We have never done that before so it will be interesting. I rather have her as a bridesmaid than nothing at all. I will just talk to her and see how she really feels. Like Maltese said I will jsut give her a deadline for the dress and let her make her own decision about that.