Thinking about throwing in the towel

YES!! I had the exact same experience! We ultimately decided to do a small destination wedding with just our closest friends and family…. And we are soooo much happier with this plan!!

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I am thinking I will be too. My fiance proposed to me in Hawaii and we could get married on the same beach he proposed. The stress of planning (and paying) for this wedding is just too much. I like the simplicity where everything is there and all I have to do is show up with my credit card and my fiance LOL. Thank you for input!

View Quoted Comment Awwww I love the idea of returning to your proposal site to get married! Not only will it save you a ton of money, but it will also be a lot more meaningful (and probably a ton more fun!)

View Quoted Comment Yes- and I will have ten days in Hawaii instead of two nights in Del Mar… now all I have to do is convince the fiancé 😉

I kept throwing in the towel like.. 5 times LOL! It wasn't until my husband's cousin that stepped in and helped us. If it wasn't for her I was so ready to just elope through this elopement/microwedding service in our town.

But yes, things definitely start to add up when it comes to planning a wedding. And honestly, if that is what you truly want especially when it comes to saving then by all means go for it! This is YOUR day.

My husband and I went from spending 15k to only 8k for our wedding. We threw a small backyard wedding and it was just PERFECT.

View Quoted Comment I am having a backyard wedding as well, could you share some pictures for inspiration? 🥰 tks

I think you should seriously consider Hawaii and an elopement . It would be special to you and would be a honeymoon as well. You'd probably feel better about how much you are spending as well and can put money towards your house which would also be beneficial. Hope it goes well trying to convince the fiance .

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Sadly it did not. We are spending a gazillion dollars but he really wants all of our friends and family to be able to attend. It will be beautiful and a lot of fun but I realized I really need to have him pitch in. He thinks food tasting and cake tasting is his big contribution 0_o I would have loved to do Hawaii tho.....

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Oh that's no good Can you save money by doing it a different way like having it in a backyard or doing spotify instead of a DJ? Have someone take your photos for you so you don't have to pay for a photographer? Have everyone bring a meal if it's in the back yard and save money that way? I just did a party for about 75 people and I just gave them an invitation saying what they had to bring out of antipasto plate, main meal, salad, warm vegetable dish, and dessert and it worked really well Just some ideas that may work?

My situation was different because Covid was a factor. But I ended up cancelling my 30k wedding with 200+ guests and had an AWESOME mini ceremony and dinner reception with 10 guests. I am a huge proponent of small weddings now, I wish we would have done this from the start and not kept pushing our wedding date out. I don’t regret anything, it was the most amazing day and we don’t have to spend years trying to pay off debt from a one night party. I have a friend who just cancelled hers as well because it was outrageous expensive, she’s flying the family to Colorado for a small ceremony and vacation all in one!

I had thought that but speaking to others whom are already married the memories are what you are doing it for so they convinced me to do it and I always dreamed of a big wedding but we are going to cut back on somethings my budget was 15- 0k and think I am at more like 28k so I am starting to cut somethings but go for what you want and what makes you happy it is your day.

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My problem is that I signed contracts for venue, food, and dj... LOL I gave my budget to my day of planner to get any ideas from her for cutting. My issue is that everything seems either super necessary... My fiance said we can just take out a loan and pay it back together for the stuff we don't pay cash for. We had a long talk and he agreed to be more involved w the budget and decision-making so I won't' feel so overwhelmed and won't pay for stuff he thinks we should cut. I was so eager to book everything before it was snatched up they seemed way cheaper when I signed the contract individually but then i added it all together - I made it very difficult for myself to trim the budget as much as I would like.

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The way things are going with covid strains it may not be my choice! LOL there is a tiny wedding venue around the corner from my house.. I should just cut the fancy beach locale and do that tiny wedding!

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Yay!! And yes of course! We went with a little bit of a rustic theme. We rented tables, chairs, dance floor, arch, bar area (not pictured), and speakers

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Beautiful!! Same here. We went from a 250 person wedding in New Orleans to a 20 person wedding in Destin, Florida. I would have never imagined having a small wedding (and was initially somewhat disappointed when we decided to have a small wedding due to COVID); however, now, I wouldn't have it any other way. My friends and family that were not there participated virtually, and we had a virtual toast to them after the recessional and before cocktail hour (so they saw us and we saw and spoke to them). I had an AMAZING day and am such a fan of smaller, intimate weddings now.

View Quoted Comment These pictures are so pretty!! Love the scenery and decor, I never would have guessed that this was a backyard wedding!

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Awww thank you so much Lisa I'm so glad that my husband's aunt and uncle opened up their beautiful home to us.

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Oh no!!! I mean you did what you had to do at the time! And things do change over time as you plan more and what not. But as long as you and your FH are communicating effectively to make this work then I'm sure you guys will definitely figure it out But if you truly want to lessen the stress I highly recommend going the smaller ceremony and reception route.

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Is there any way you can cancel the things you have already booked and get some money back or would it be worth just cancelling them and taking the loss and doing a small wedding anyway? I'm glad your fiance is going to be helping more and you can work on the budget and decisions together now . I am hoping that this makes things easier for you anyway and less overwhelming

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your advice! I wish I could go smaller lol but it will be good- having him listen to me about my feelings is worth all the angst cos I hadn’t really shared with him my feelings