Thinking about calling off the wedding

If your rescheduling anyway and your not sure what to do, I would suggest pushing it back at least a few months and really make sure you want to marry this person. give yourself as much time as you need to figure it out and decide what you want. good luck!

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I agree.

My FH is almost the same. He wants to be involved but has no input and if he does he has to think on it. I just give him a deadline to give me an answer (but i don't tell him about it) so once i realize he passed up is due date i make the final decision. And if he asks or complains that he did agree to it, then i will remind him why i made the decision without him.

This is a very though time for everyone. This whole chaos put people into pressure. I won’t be surprised if this isolation drive lovely parents to an impatient parents, couple get into fights about small things, etc....


Do not let this temporary pressure control you. Do not let temporary emotions destroy what you guys have.

If you guys always have had issues before this covid situation we are having now, plus the wedding planning, then you should have a serious talk with FH. Make sure you guys don’t regret this marriage.

There is no marriage without fights. Not the wedding planning, not covid, not kids, not financial matter, not family or friends should be your reason for a break up. Think why you love him, think if you can live with his flaws for the rest of your life, because obviously everyone has a flaw.

I have been married with dear husband for almost 23 years, and we are soooo different. We have different character, different backgrounds, different race, different culture, different childhood trauma what made us think they way we think now. We have tons of problems, and we will always have to face something. We have to respect each other and always try to understand and look for the mid-line. Communicate. Love. Pray.

Good luck, Sara. I wish the best for you.

First, I am very sorry you are going through this. Second, I think you are being very smart to ask yourself these tough questions. In many ways, wedding planning IS a good window into what the marriage will be like. For many couples, wedding planning is the first time to really collaborate and work towards a common goal (including joint budgeting and compromise). Or not...

This paragraph of yours stood out to me: "Therefore, this just gives me an inside look to how our future as a couple looks and it doesn't look like he is willing to help through tough times. He wants me to do ALL the work. Take on all the burdens. Fellow wedding wire peeps, what do I do?"

Traditionally In US culture (the only one I can speak to), women do get saddled with the majority of the emotional and physical labor in managing households, families, and relationships. We now know we don't have to settle for that, but the patterns are still there. I don't think you are wrong in thinking this goes deeper than just temporary wedding planning stress. Actions speak louder than words and your fiancé's actions have shown you your future...if nothing changes.

I agree with Kristen. Push your wedding out, waaaay out. Use COVID-19 as the short-term excuse for friends and family if you need to, but put all wedding planning on hold until you figure out if you really want to get married to this man or not. Couples counseling would be good at this juncture (with current social distancing, find a counselor who does video chat sessions). Go alone if you need to. Keep asking the hard questions. I believe in you!