Think i picked the wrong bridesmaids

Yeah, replacing bridesmaids is just a recipe for disaster. The thing is, with these people being your cousins, this isn't about just ending a friendship, but this will add a strain to your family dynamic. And my bachelorette party was literally planned within the past two weeks and it'll be in mid-February. It's absolutely not out of the question for it to be on the to-do list at this point.

Aaaalso, ^^^^^ to the Emily Post article mentioned above about bridal party responsibilities. It's a perk of having a bridal party, but not a responsibility on their part.

You're definitely not obligated to pay for their dresses. It's standard for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses.

So, I understand all this it rude to "kick" someone out of your bridal party talk. Here is the thing - I was asked to be MOH for my friend's wedding while I was living aboard. 2 months in she asked me if I wanted to step-down because she felt she needed more and to be honest was doing a crap job at being there for her. It wasn't a big deal, it was the honest truth - I was pre-occupied by my own life and I could not meet her expectations of me. We talked about it LIKE ADULTS and agreed it was better for someone else to take on the role. I moved back to the states 2 days before her wedding and I was just a bridesmaid. NO BIG DEAL!

Same here, seems like your cousin is rightfully so pre-occupied with her growing family - no shame in that and you have to accept that too. If your not getting what you need in terms of support - tell them - this is what I need from you can you do it? If not, ask them if they are sure they want to still be a BM? They can say yes or no. If they can't do it and don't want to be BMs, replace them. If they can't do, but want to remain BMs, add more BMs. If they can do it, accept it, hug it out (apologizes - sorry I was not clear on my expectations, sorry I wasn't there for you, blah, blah) and move on. Some of ya'll are real caught up in loving drama - just be adults about the situation and proceed. Life doesn't have to be that hard. There is etiquette and then there is reality - pick which one you want to live in.

First of all, it's y'all not ya'll.

If someone decides they're not up for being a BM, fine. That should be their choice. Replacing BMs, on the other hand, is completely rude. How would you feel being asked in the second, or even third round to be BM because someones first choice couldn't do it? There is literally NO VALID REASON why anyone should be REPLACING their bridesmaids.

You don't need even sides. You don't even need people standing next to you. If your original few can't do it then oh well, move on.

Sweetie chill - if you spell ya'll y'all fine who the heck cares? Its a made up word to begin with, so CALM DOWN. You see it as rude, fine. I don't, given the circumstance - it's your not in her wedding, her family or her real life, so it doesn't really matter. Giving her an example of how it happened for me and how it was just fine. Geez, the nerve of me and my friends to be understanding and honest with each other! How do we live without the drama? Plus, I already mentioned she didn't have to have BMs in my previous post. I am sure she'll do what she feels is best. Have a good day.

You assume I am not calm. I'm completely calm.

https://writingexplained.org/yall-or-ya-ll-difference

I believe people should take pride in their writing. To me that means not writing in all caps, using punctuation, correct grammar, and correct spelling. If you are not someone that prides themselves in communicating effectively, oh well.

I said nothing about you and your friends or your story. Your post is coming off very defensive. What I did say is that if her BMs choose not to be BMs she should not replace them, which you continue to suggest. I also asked how you would feel if you were a second round or a third round pick for BM, which you did not answer.

Its a message board dear, I guess I have more important things to worry about than my grammar on a message board. As for your pride and calmness, you sure use a lot of bold, look up what that means too while you're citing references (which you didn't use standard MLA for - oh did I end in a preposition?). Also, you might want to put a line space between your paragraphs, again only if its important to you.

Since your question is also so important - I would feel fine to help a friend in a bind. I would be honored that she sees me as a dependable and reliable resource for her. I am sure it's happened to me without me even knowing it and without digging to find out. Sorry, I don't buy into your drama loving stereotype! Again, all the best!

I think the Original Poster is from the UK? based on the term "hen party". I believe it is common in the UK for the bride to purchase the bridesmaids' dresses.

Instead of asking the 2 cousins to step down, I would have a heart to heart with the pregnant cousin, and ask if it is too much for her, considering how soon her baby is due. NOT with the hope of getting her to resign, but to show concern.

And then, could you also add 2 of your friends to be bridesmaids? That way, you would have more support for your big day. I think adding might be better than replacing bridesmaids.

I also do not understand why a "hen party" would need to be planned so far ahead of time? Perhaps it is a bigger deal than I realize.

Lol have a blessed day!

Good advice