Things taking a toll for the worst

Ever since Covid started things have just gotten worse for my fiancé and I we first lost his mother and then Covid hit and everything shut down we couldn’t have a funeral and then the wedding disaster, we are suppose to have our wedding July 17 I’m from ny and new my wedding just wasn’t going to happen the way I wanted it so we agreed we did not want to wait anymore and we are going to elope on our day in my parents backyard the date also holds a lot of meaning to us and we have waited two years and just wanted to be married already. We then decided to push our reception and vow renewal to October. Once that decision was made I still had this feeling things may not be ok and then my fiancé lost his job indefinitely and we have taken a pay cut and feel that we cannot keep up with the pressure of paying for this large event. My parents who were ever so kind as to help pay for some are also taking a pay cut and feel that the best option is to now cancel the entire wedding. At first I was sad because I wanted this then we thought it over and realized what was important which was truly just our love and each other. We are going to do a mock photo shoot with my bridal party so everyone can get dressed up like they would have since my girls already have their dresses. Then have an I DO BBQ hopefully next year with everyone who was invited to our wedding. We also decided it was always our dream to really be married on a cruise but we went the other route originally to have everyone celebrate with us we want to now Renew our vows on our honeymoon which is a cruise to Bermuda and I will wear my dress again. I guess I have realized through all of this that it’s so important to truly make yourself happy and you as a couple because all I do is focus on everyone else. I feel extremely sad though and I feel bad because I have now sent out new save the dates and people were still so excited so I guess I’m still struggling with how to tell everyone that now we’re canceling it. It’s something I never thought we would have to do but things have really changed and right now the most important thing is to take care of our bills and get this enormous pressure off our backs. Sorry for the long rant!