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MrsD
Legend July 2019

Things i am Happy i Did vs. Things i Didn't Need

MrsD, on August 1, 2019 at 4:46 PM Posted in Married Life 5 25

Please post on this if you are married & have thoughts! These are smaller, random things. Obviously I'm happy I did SO much planning & vetted all the vendors & took a lot of time to budget/plan/etc. but these are smaller things I wouldn't have thought about prior.

Things I'm Happy I Did:

- We were busy our ENTIRE wedding weekend. We spent every second we could with friends & family. Thursday dinner, Friday lunch, Friday after the rehearsal dinner in the hotel bar, Sunday breakfast. In addition to the rehearsal dinner and wedding, we made every effort to include everyone and invite them to everything. Everyone co-mingled prior to the wedding and it made the wedding even better!

- I didn't have an unplugged ceremony. I put an FAQ on the website asking guests to keep phones/arms down so they don't block views, but that's it. I think this is a group-specific thing, but no one was in the way or holding phones down the aisle or messing it up. I'm really happy for the few pictures I was sent from guests during the ceremony (especially since we have to wait 5 more weeks for our professional pictures).

- I printed menus, programs, welcome pamphlets, and bought favors. Our favors were a small potpourri bag (my parents had the same favor at their wedding) with a personalized ribbon and wine corks with the Colorado mountains on them. Almost everyone took both favors. The menus & programs & welcome pamphlets made everything seem more personal to me.

- We had a hotel block and made welcome bags. I know this isn't for everyone, but we had a TON of out of state guests so we had 46 rooms in our block. Our bags cost around $10 each. Again, it made the weekend seem more personal & festive.

- I spent the night before the wedding with my fiance. We were calm, both slept well, we got ready like normal, then I kissed him goodbye at 8:30 AM and saw him as I walked down the aisle at 5:45 PM. We both cried, the moment was very special.

- We didn't do a first look. It was super important to us to have the moment I walk down the aisle be the first time he sees me in my bridal attire. It was such a special moment.

- We had a DOC! So happy we did, I had no time to set up everything or communicate with everyone the way she did.

- I worked hard on our website. I know at least 40 people looked at it (10 RSVPed online) and a lot of moms/aunts/etc. made comments about things I had put on the website. It also put all our information in one place.

- We ate quickly & walked around to every table. I hate receiving lines, so we didn't do one. We ate quickly (our meal was already on our table & guests went to the buffet) while guests got their food then we walked around to every table and greeted everyone. We had 125 guests, it took about an hour but we split it up before toasts & after.

- We left for our honeymoon two days later, not the next day. We got to go home Sunday, bring everything home & drop off my dress at a dry cleaners. We drove to the airport the next day stress free!

- Every step of the way we thought about guest & wedding party experience. We paid for everything we could, involved people every time we could, thought about how we feel as wedding guests, etc. I think it reflected in what we spent the most money on and how much our guests enjoyed themselves.

- My fiance put my garter around a football before he tossed it. To me, garter tosses seem awkward. Just flinging it into the crowd seems weird. The football made it way less weird (in our opinion).

- We took dance lessons. I'm so happy we did, we did a two step and it was super fun!

Things I Didn't Need/Wish I Hadn't Done/Didn't Do But Wish I Did:

- I rushed pictures after the ceremony and let our photographer talk me into couples pictures prior to family & wedding party pictures. We took so long doing couples ones, we barely had time for the rest. I wish we would have got family & wedding party ones out of the way first to make sure we got all those, then used the rest of the time & at sunset to take the other couples pictures.

- We did midnight snacks, but didn't need them. Our wedding was delayed, so cocktail hour was 6:30-7:30, guests sat at 7:30 to a plated salad and had dinner at 8:00 and desserts at 9:00. Midnight snacks came out at 10:00 (mini hot dogs), no one needed them. We had SO much food and everyone was focused on dancing and drinking.

- I didn't buy cute umbrellas. The weather forecast kept saying it might rain, I assumed it would but for a short time and we would be fine. It RAINED for 2+ hours and we moved our ceremony. I wish I would have bought the cute clear umbrellas on Amazon even if I returned them after if we didn't use them. It would have been easier for outdoor pictures & walking around the venue.

- I got our dog a "dog of honor" bandana, I wish I would have done a flower collar. Not a big deal, I just think it would have looked cuter than the bandana.

- My dress was HEAVY, I spent all night pulling it up and my bustle broke. I knew it would! Both weddings I've been in, the bustle broke. I brought safety pins so the bustle was fine. I bought dress tape, the dress was too stiff for it to even work against my skin. I'm not sure how I would have fixed it? Maybe thin spaghetti straps? I'm not sure, but it didn't stay where I wanted it all night which bugged me and I hope wasn't too noticeable or in too many pictures.

- We didn't take ENOUGH dance lessons. We took 4, but we are NOT good dancers. We should have taken 5-6, or practiced 2-3 times the night before. We were so rushed the whole weekend we didn't have time.

25 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on August 9, 2019 at 9:58 AM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I am so glad I got a day of coordinator too. I also agree with the photos - I had that happen, we didn't get enough photos of certain things! Your wedding sounded like overall it went amazing
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I'm hoping when we get ours back I'll feel like we got a ton! We have an album of over 250 from friends & family already, there were just a few posed family ones I know we didn't get that I wish we would have.

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  • Michaela
    Super May 2020
    Michaela ·
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    This is a great list. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  • Courtney
    Master December 2019
    Courtney ·
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    Love the football garter idea, so fun!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Of course, thank you!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Yeah, it was fun!

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  • I
    Expert August 2021
    Ingrid ·
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    This is very helpful information. I'm debating First Look or not. I'm worried about time and pictures. I want to spend as much time with guests like you did.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I'm glad it was helpful! We didn't do one, we wanted the moment I walk down the aisle to be super special so we didn't want a first look. We had a lot of time with guests, but not during cocktail hour since that's when we were taking pictures.

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  • Katherine
    Expert July 2019
    Katherine ·
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    Things I'm happy we did that we considered not doing or that conventional wisdom says are good things to cut:

    - I did cutesy things for my side of the wedding party proposals (I sent or brought them cookies with a picture of us on them), and I gave the same gift to each person (travel sized bags big enough for electronics or lots of toiletries, though each person had a print that we thought they'd like, and their name on it). I think it's know your crowd here, for all four of my bridesmaids/man of honor, this was the first wedding they'd ever been in, for some of them the first they'd been to at all as adults. They WANTED the cutesy stuff.

    - Along those lines, it would have been cheaper to not to hair/makeup for the bridesmaids and my mom, but I am glad we did. They don't know much about makeup, but like looking sharp, so it was a really fun treat. I didn't have any preference to how they did their hair, but the bridesmaids all got the exact same style for their hair, lol. It was also fun getting to spend the morning of the wedding together, so that I wasn't worried about not spending enough time with them during the wedding

    - HAVING A WEDDING IN THE OFF SEASON. OH MY GOSH. I am so glad we had a summer wedding. I work in the schools and had this time off, and I think this was totally the right choice for us, saved us tons of stress and money. Yeah, it was hot, my legs were completely drenched with sweat under my satin dress in pictures, the but the main parts of the wedding were inside and air conditioned.

    - No first look. We didn't need one, we got plenty of pics without it, and it was better to do them when we were all married and relaxed. Even without a drama-filled entrance, I think not doing a first look was the right choice for us.

    - Colored tablecloths - The place we went to, all colors of tablecloths were the same price. Going for a light color was nice because we went super simple for the table decor, so it gave a nice, fun pop to the room. Sure, people don't notice linens, but when it's the same price anyway, why not?

    -Reusing things from our friends' weddings. If people recognized the stuff they didn't care. Sure, gold isn't one of my favorite colors, and the easel we used to show the table arrangements was fancier than our personalities will ever be, but no family needs more than one card box. It totally worked out.

    - We went out to a bar with picnic tables with our friends and some family our age after the wedding. This was something my husband wanted to do to spend more time with everyone, and it was so nice.


    Would have been nice:

    - Giving a list of the family photo pictures to at least one person in each family. OMG we thought we could outsmart the family photo stress since his brother just got married last fall and we'd done this before, but reader, we did not.

    - Agree with you on the bustle stuff. Maybe a different bustle would have been a better choice for me, or switching outfits before dancing (though my dress is amazing so I don't think I'd actually have wanted to change out of it)

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I agree with everything you said hahahaha!

    I did the same as you for proposals & gifts! My fiance's 4 sisters had never been in a wedding (one of them had, the rest hadn't) so the cute stuff was perfect for them. Similar for my husband, he is one of the first in his group so the guys didn't have a lot of fun socks or whiskey glasses from prior weddings. AND same for hair and makeup! It was so fun to have everyone in there and everyone feel beautiful & pretty & all done up. I'm happy we splurged on that. We had a summer wedding (obviously) so it was more expensive but I'm just way more of a summer person! We skipped the first look too. We did white table cloths but only because we had colors elsewhere! We didn't reuse from friends, but I did totally buy used decor online or borrow from our florist! We didn't go out after our wedding...it was 11:45 when we got to the hotel and we were exhausted, but we did do a ton of stuff Thursday and Friday and Sunday so we got extra time.

    I TOTALLY wish someone would have had the photo list and could have helped me in addition to the photographer.

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  • Katherine
    Expert July 2019
    Katherine ·
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    I love that you all had so much time with friends and family, that's what the big wedding thing is all about! Yes, it's about us and our commitment to each other, but if that's all it was about we could have gone to the courthouse and taken care of it a lot more simply. We were lucky that the rehearsal dinner space was very flexible so we were able to mill around and talk to people throughout the night, which definitely made us relaxed about our fear of not getting to everyone during the wedding. In fact, we wanted to go around to all the tables, but between the rehearsal and getting to participate in the end of cocktail hour, we were able to use that time at the end of dinner to take sunset pics instead. We talked to almost all the guests, said hi to everyone, and 100% of the people who stayed until the end we were able to have meaningful interactions with (and we didn't have an small wedding).

    We got married on the same day, but July is part of the off season for Texas. Summer weddings are inherently more casual, I think, so that suited us as well. And being able to take the honeymoon while I was off from work was a definitely bonus.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Exactly! We had so many people from out of state too, it felt odd to only see them for a few hours one day so I'm happy we chose a hotel with a bar and had a large rehearsal dinner. Oh, that's funny! I didn't realize it was off season in Texas! In Colorado it's wedding season May-September for sure!

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  • Katherine
    Expert July 2019
    Katherine ·
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    Yeah it's just super flipping hot here in the summer, so outdoor weddings are off the table entirely

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Thank you so much for sharing this advice! I definitely needed it

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  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
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    Thanks for the great advice as always! I think we are getting a little black tux for our pup (he's coming for park photos in the event of good weather Smiley smile )

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I'm glad it helps!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Adorable! I love that! I'm so happy our dog got to be in our wedding!

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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    Now I'm really thinking about getting a DOC. What exactly was yours responsible for on the day of the wedding? Thank you so much for this thorough list. I'll definitely look back at it for some great tipsSmiley smile

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Thank you! Ours was more of a "month of" than a "day of". She met with us at our home to come up with a timeline, learn about the wedding, see our decor, etc. She went on a walk through with us at our venue with our caterer. She confirmed with all the vendors and made a day of timeline. She attended our rehearsal. On the day of she set up all the decor (other than flowers), and ran the entire day. At the end of the night she cleaned everything up and grabbed all our gifts/cards and gave them to us the next day! She was great.

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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    Wow, that is honestly so helpful! So she set up all the decorations, even tableware too? I may be switching my venue to a place that's pretty much "set everything up yourself" and I'm worried about the stress that may ensue in doing that ourselves. So I want someone who can help with setting up tables, doing decor and things of that nature. Your coordinator seems like she was really involved and thorough with everything. That is so awesome.

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