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Just Said Yes September 2020

They want to turn the destination wedding into a family reunion

Marissa, on November 30, 2019 at 6:49 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13
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-and i feel like our special day will be lost in it all.

We will be renting a lodge in the mountains for the family to stay in for the night before and the night after the wedding. The wedding is next October. Everyone's getting excited already and talking about turning it into a family reunion and they are taking over our big day.

I feel like it's going to seem like "oh yeah, let's go to the wedding now, it's interrupting the family reunion we're having..."

Has anyone had this happen?

Any ideas on preventing this or how to nip it in the bud?


13 Comments

Latest activity by 2d Bride, on December 1, 2019 at 12:52 AM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I think this is pretty common. People think of destination weddings as an excuse for a big family vacation, especially since they’re usually spending a decent amount of money to attend. As long as they’re all in attendance for the wedding itself, does it really matter how they utilize the rest of the time they’re there?
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    Oh that is very common. I think you should talk to maybe your close family about that but also it is destination wedding but are your FH and you planning to do a honeymoon right after? If so you may want to consider getting a place away from where your family is staying so you two can have some private time.
    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag
    Very common. I have a feeling mine might turn into that a bit, my FH's family is from out of state and this will be the first time seeing any of them in 2 years. But they are coming in early and we are hosting a get together at a bar that we are having the rehearsal dinner at so they can join us. Hopefully that will help with that as well.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I would just be honest with the family and tell them how you are feeling. Tell them that you want everyone to have a good time, and to keep focus on WHY you are there: YOUR WEDDING! If AFTER the wedding they want to do a “family reunion” by all means go ahead- but NOT before.... I mean interact and have fun, like any wedding, but don’t make it all about not a wedding.


    Our wedding is also a destination for 85% of the people and the others, while they live in UPSTATE NY, are not local-local.
    FH has about 85-90% of the guest list and I’m worried about this becoming his families show- more like his mother and 22 1/2yo daughters show. And I am NOT the type to be quiet about that, lol!
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    Mine was sort of like this but it was fine, I don’t feel like anything took away from my wedding
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    Same here. I have a VERY large family. We decided to do a DW in order to keep it small... joke’s on us! Everyone is excited and is basically making it a family reunion LOL Honestly I don’t mind though- I’m happy to have everyone there and now I won’t feel the need to host/entertain everyone the entire trip!
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    We rented a creekhouse with the intention of having everyone stay together. Our families are spread out all over the country so we thought it would be cool to get everyone interacting and meeting one another. However, it is for the purpose of a wedding and meeting new family. I am not sure what your plans are but maybe you could have a conversation with your "right hand" family member. See if they could set up a mini event after your wedding, like the next day!! Such as a big family brunch with games or something. That way you get your day and they can do whatever after your day is done. In fact, I say you two would be fine to not even join in because you should be heading towards a honeymoon! I think there is a way to make the work without a total wedding takeover.
    • Reply
  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    Agee with the advice here on asking or encouraging family to have a little get together the day after the wedding. If your extended family is like mine, as time goes by it becomes so rare that everyone gets together anymore. Let them have their fun, it’s better seeing everyone together on a happy occasion than together for a funeral (which is now when people all get together for me 🙁).
    • Reply
  • Erin
    VIP December 2020
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    My family is spread out all down the east coast, and we see each other at weddings and funerals (and the occasional and rare thanksgiving dinner). They all also have to travel here to Colorado for my wedding. I fully expect they’ll want to get together and just catch up. There will also be a lot of people meeting each other for the first time. My college friends have never met my childhood friends, my family (besides parents) have never met his, my friends and family have never met his friends, and vice versa. My friends and family have never even met him!


    It’ll end up being a reunion/get to know you, and I’m ok with that. I haven’t seen my family and friends since I moved away (4 years ago) so I want to take part in the reunion too.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    It’s going to happen because people are spending money to travel and spend a weekend away from home. We had the same issue but as long as they all attend the wedding then they can have fun and enjoy the company. I wouldn’t stress about it because your day will be about you and your FH.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Savvy August 2020
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    This is almost exactly how mine is going to be. We are renting a lodge in mountains and basically only our families are going and very close friends. I’m sure mine will turn into a family reunion also but I don’t mind. I’m actually excited about it being that way.
    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag
    I feel like, In a way all weddings are family reunions. They all get together to celebrate you and your love. I understand the frustration and worry that they won’t focus on you, but like someone else said they are likely spending a pretty penny and a decent amount of time to go. I don’t know that it’s fair to tell them not to do that.
    • Reply
  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    In my family, weddings and funerals were the major way the whole extended family got together. So I wouldn't be at all surprised for that to happen, even if it weren't a DW. That doesn't mean that your wedding won't be properly honored.

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