Getting married in September...estranged biological father is an alcoholic but we do have a “relationship”...was raised by my Step-father, who has always been my Father...estranged father has little to no relationship with my 2 sons, but step-father and sons have unbreakable bond...honestly, Stepfather has always been/will always be my choice to walk with me on my wedding day...unfortunately, stepfather passed away 3 years ago...fiancé thinks I should allow estranged father to accompany me, mainly because he thinks I should try to work on this “relationship”...I, on the other hand think that it would be a mistake because he has always struggled with his alcoholism my entire life, still struggles with it today, which is the reason he has no relationship w/ my 22 and 21 year old sons, and his own son, my younger brother...I want to honor my stepfather in the ceremony, have a few ideas of how, but I am struggling to decide whether to proceed alone, have my brother escort me, or should it be my sons? Also, because of the “relationship” w/ estranged father should I even extend the invitation to him?
I think having your son's would be a great idea. Kind of like they're giving you away to your new husband. Also your wedding day is not the day to try and hope an estranged relationship works, if it were me I wouldn't even invite your dad. Not to mention alcoholic and weddings don't mix well.
I agree with Alyssa, your sons would be a perfect choice to walk you down the aisle. Especially given they had a great relationship with your step father. As fir inviting your bio-father that’s entirely on your comfort level. Do you feel he could handle the event without you having to be on constant alert? If no, don’t invite. If yes, then I’d consider it and put someone in charge of keeping an eye on him just so you can fully enjoy your day without the worry. Good luck!
I love the idea of having your sons or your brother walk you down the aisle! It sounds like the perfect fit for you! I am not sure that it would be a good idea to invite your dad unless you make a lot of ground between now and the wedding with him. You shouldn't have to worry about his behavior on your wedding day, especiallyif there is alcoholinvolved. Unless you really want him there, in which case, I really like the idea of having someone keep an eye on him!
Hands down- your sons should walk you! Just because he’s your biological father doesn’t automatically give him the right/honor of walking you. I’m a recovering alcoholic (been sober 15+ years) & I had many amends to make to my children. I worked hard reestablishing a relationship with my children & my family. I earned the right to walk my daughter at her wedding.
No. Estranged father does not get to do this and it is your decision only if you choose to get in touch with him. Personally I would not based on his history. Blood ties don't mean anything when the other party makes no effort.
No to father. I know how you feel, I've had a very rough relationship with my dad as well growing up. We were able to work out our issues, but when I first got engaged he wasn't walking me down the aisle. I was going to have my grandmother do it or I was going to walk alone. Now that we have a much better relationship he is walking me down, but that was really conditional on whether he could be a decent human being. I still could pull the plug, but we've been doing well for over a year now so I think I'm good to go.
The sons is a great idea, I like that one. Like everyone else said, I would stick with brother or sons. Or even alone.
I like the idea of having your sons escort you. I also thing it would be very sweet to carry a phone of your step father as you walk down the aisle, to kind of symbolize him walking down the aisle with you.
If you have to put to much thought into it I wouldn’t have him walk you down the isle that’s just my opinion. If you want to work on the relationship then great but this doesn’t have to be the starting point for that. It’s your day. Why not have your mom give you away? Or your mom and your brother? Have a charm on your bouquet of your dad or a locket with his picture.