The "right" Way To Discipline Children

My parents always put us in time out and talked us through our problems, that was also non negotiable for me. My fiances family has some relatives who are known to lay hands on their spouse and kids so hes a big believer in hands off the kids (and spouse).
I also agree this is a conversation you should have before marriage, it's not only critical if you are or become parents but tells you a lot about your spouses core beliefs and how they problem solve.

We use time out and try our best to get our kids (almost 4 and 5) to communicate. My mom and I lived with my aunt and uncle from age 5-15 and they yelled, screamed, and used a belt on us when we were in trouble. I still deal with the repercussions of that (and other things) and I never want to cause my own children any of that pain. Our children learn much more from how act than what we say, and if we want them to handle problems in a positive way we have to model that behavior. Since our kids are so close in age (16 months apart) they fight a lot, and our pediatrician’s advice was to let them try to work things out on their own (as long as it doesn’t escalate to violence). I feel like policing fights is at least 30% of my life lately, when does school start again?!?!?

I am a single mother of four. Well at least until December 14th!! I placed my children in time out. Then I sat on the floor and explained why I place there in time out. For example my son hit his sister for taking his toy. When I asked why he hit her he said because he can (that’s his famous line) I made him go sit for 10 (Sit one minute for however old they are 10 years =10 minutes). She also has to sit in time out for taking things with our permission. After 10 minutes I explained we don’t hit anyone because “We Can”. I also explain to her she take take things just because we want them. I made him/her apologize to each other. Speed ahead four more years he tells his sister not to take things from him until he’s finished playing with them. She of course waits her turn. This is just one of many many things that’s have gone down in my house. You’ll lean to work together as a couple to make decisions on what’s best for your children. My kiddos are now ages 18, 17, 14, and 11. I have zero issues from them and I can go to work and come home and my house is tore up from the floor up, and no one is yelling the house down.

View Quoted Comment I also believe that conversation can be a great discipline tool with children.

View Quoted Comment I think the way we are disciplined as children can have life long implications so it's really important that future parents consider that.

View Quoted Comment Keep doing what your doing because obviously it's working!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!!! Some days I feel like I’ve failed as a parent, then other days I jump for joy!!!

View Quoted Comment Your welcome! It sounds like your doing a lovely job.

Sorry if my answer is long I have worked I. Preschool 19 years and just got my associate.
Time out is fine but you have to explain why they are in time out. Also give a warning before they are put there. 1 minute for year. I think kids need things like time out.
1. It provides structure
3. It shoes children about consequences for actions.
Also understanding but not excusing child appropriate behave is important. I can link in some articles I like if you want. Making child think of why what they did is wrong and how they could have handled the situation different. For example
3 year old Dale hit is sister Macy. This is the second time say to Dale you have hit Macy is that ok ? Why did you hit? Why do you not hit? Put him in time out time out three minutes. hw gets up say Dale why did you sit in time out? Dale what should you do to not hit?
Providing you kid with own space so if they get mad they have someplace to go is important. If they share a room try a small kids tent they each have.

I can link you some articles.

View Quoted Comment Hey I teach your doing great.

Also ignoring attention seeking behavior for example a three year old made cause he has to was his hands throwing a fit, ignore it. Tell them they can join you when they was hands, a lot of times they go to stop feet throw themselves down and so on. They watch to get a reaction. I saw a article that drive me insane about how kid throw fits cause they want a relationship. Yes they want attention that is a type of a relationship. However acting in a negative way and getting what you want us not a healthy relationship. Ignoring it and showing them that throwing a fit is not how you get attention. Teaches them how to have a healthy relationship.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!!

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I am also a teacher and I think that is one of the reasons I have a unique perspective on disciplining children.

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OMG that is a huge one. A lot of time children do things for attention, positive or negative.

I am a big believer in speaking to kids like adults. I don't have any but I work with kids a lot and I don't usually speak to them like baby talk or anything