The Rehearsal: Dinner or Cocktail Party?

No but that sounds fun as long as there's enough food. I'm having mine at a bar and grill so there will actually be dinner. I wanted it to be casual

We had a formal dinner, and it was AMAZING. I know people say that you can totally just have beer and pizza, but having a really nice dinner was one of the high points of our weekend, and I wouldn't have changed it for anything.

I agree with Felicia.

And many times making sure there is enough cocktail hour food for that many will be just as or more expensive than a nice Italian dinner.

@A. L. To be honest, that is what I originally wanted. A small, immediate family (which, uh, still ended up to be 30 people!) intimate dinner. But, my parents are worried and they got me worried, too. Originally I was paying for the Rehearsal and they were paying for the Wedding. When I told the my plans, they were displeased and now we are here.

I once went to an office Christmas party (not the same thing at all, I get it!!) that had "stations" instead of a sit down dinner. It was awesome, and more than enough food. So that is what I am exploring now.

We also have a ton travelling but i didn't want a huge dinner, so we are compromising. we are having a small dinner at 6:30 (though nothing super fancy), and then hosting welcome drinks for all out of town guests and rehearsal dinner guests immediately after at 8:30.

If it's only a 2-4 hour drive, I would not be driving in until the day of the wedding. I would reconsider if I got an invitation to your rehearsal dinner.

The question is do you want your OOT guests to come to the RD? If not, that is perfectly okay, I just don't think you should assume they will already be in town.

This sounds similar to what we are doing. We have about 10-15 people arriving the night before the wedding and wanted them to attend the rehearsal dinner. Right now we are looking at roughly 32 people attending plus myself and FH. We wanted to go the more casual route with a larger group of people so we can talk with everyone we may not get to see often and mingle.

We rented out a local winery..only $350 for 3 hours and we have the entire place to ourselves. The winery also provides the drinks which will be the most expensive part of the night and for food we are getting it catered from my MOH's family cafe. They are providing antipasto, cheeses, salads, sandwiches and desserts. Because I know her and her family the food is only going to cost us about $350 which is awesome.

I would totally vote more casual like a cocktail party. I only see my out of state family once every few years. The night before my wedding I did not want to be in a restaurant at some large table and them ALL the way at the other end and all I really get the chance to do is say hello and thanks for coming.

You also have the option to host a rehearsal dinner for the usual suspects, and invite the OOT's to join you later for drinks or dessert and coffee.