The Pastor Officiating my ceremony is not what we expected

You could probably find an inexpensive officiant that would do a great job. I would start with some phone interviews just to see what's out there. Thumbtack was great- you might try looking on that website.

If you are able to find someone in the next 20 days that you like then that's one thing. I've only met my officiant once and I couldn't change who did our ceremony because the church requires the pastor to do it.

I would just stick it out.

Find someone else if you can. My Pastor did our ceremony. It was important to me, but he added to the scripting we agreed upon on the day of, something that I feel wouldn't have happened if we hired someone. It is the one thing I would change about our day.

If you can find someone, and have the money, I'd switch. One of the things I still remember about my brother's wedding, over 30 years ago, was the narrow-minded and sexist pastor who officiated (who was, alas, the father of the bride). Both my brother and his wife were quite the opposite of that, so it was a strange contrast.

If you don't agree with the ideals being taught, then I would definitely suggest you try your best to find an officiant. Good luck!!

I would go with another if you can. My Pastor is super awesome. When we meet with him, the first thing he said was I know you and Mike have been living together and there is no judgement from me. He kept saying how proud he is of me.

Don't use thumbtack but possibly look around the vendor tab.

I'm very lucky the pastor marring fh and me was the contactor on a lot of our house repair and so he knows that we live together you need to find someone you are comfortable with

I'm really sorry to hear you're having this experience. I'm a strong believer that everyone deserves the officiant who is right for them, and a ceremony experience on their own terms. I hate, hate, hate when officiants try to force things on people who just want to be married. Any time an officiant requires a couple to attend pre-marital counseling, or anything else for that matter, my head starts to pound.

If you can find a professional, I do it ASAP. Might be hard on such short notice, but you really want to be able to be comfortable with your wedding ceremony. There is no such thing as a cheap officiant who will do a great job. But there are many reasonably priced officiants who will do a very good job.

My FH and I wanted our church to marry us. We looked into the details and did the required pre-marital counseling. The counseling was helpful and we had planned for the pastor to marry us...until we saw the bill. The cost was outside the budget! Fortunately, FH has a friend who is a pastor but he hadn't spoken to him in a year or so. Thankfully, he agreed to marry us and we just had private phone conversations with him to talk about the ceremony and our expectations. He is currently 4+ hours away, so when he comes for the rehearsal, I can review what he has written for the ceremony. If I had stayed with the church pastor, I would have no say. I always had an idea of what I wanted the officiant to say and I always wanted a reading from 1 Corinthians. This way I can have some sort of control.

I say all this to suggest to you to find another officiant. It was important to me to have someone who not only for the budget, but to also speak about what I wanted in the timeframe I had available.

Many church's will not allow you to bring a random officiant in.... if you are not getting married in a church then I would say go for it....

If you can find someone do it, and start looking today. Your ceremony is the first and most important part of the day; it sets the whole tone of the celebration. It should reflect you and your values, If you were practicing members of the church, it would make more sense that the ceremony would reflect the views and requirements of the church, which, in theory, you subscribed to by being an active member. I'm not necessarily against pre marital counseling (though I don't require it nor am I qualified to facilitate it...) but when it starts to diverge from your fundamental values as individuals anda couple, it's gotta go.

I would try to find someone else honestly. Don't use thumbtack; that is for beginners, for people who can't book clients any other way but to pay to bid on their jobs. As Rev. Patrick said, good officiants cost (and I'm sure your current one does too, however the fee is described...) but they can make the ceremony a memorable and inspiring experience rather than something your guests sit through or snore through....

Try the vendor tab here. Try contacting Celebrant Foundation USA; that is where I was trained (in part) and they have officiants all over the country (where are you?). Try the American Association of Wedding Offciants (both of those groups are here, I believe)

You could also try contacting your local Unitarian society or your local UCC church. Your wedding is on a Saturday, so they could possibly help you out.

As an absolute last resort, this is one of the few instances that I'd recommend having a gutsy, articulate friend ordained or getting married by a judge/clerk/notary earlier and have them perform the ceremony (can you have it at your reception site?)

This is still bridge season in many areas; you may be surprised to find that some good people are not booked yet.

But I'm also going to give you a tiny, soft slap on the wrist. Busy is busy; we all are, but the ceremony is vitally important and should be something in place, or at least started as soon as you have your logistics in place. It is so important to make time to at least meet the person if not work on the ceremony together Maybe your experience will help someone else; good officiants who have been doing this long enough to be doing second and third family members and referred by venues and other vendors (something you should also do; ask for recommendations) are booking gulp, 2018 already.

Good luck! But make a change.

SC is one of the few states that allows its Notaries Public to officiate weddings. Use the vendor tab here on WW to find an officiant who is willing to give you the ceremony you want.

April is a peak wedding month here in the South, so get on this right away!

I would never let someone try to force antiquated patriarchal ideas on me, and I especially wouldn't let those words be included in my wedding ceremony. I'd find someone new.