The Non-invited Guest

In my opinion, I would just be honest with your friend. Let her know that you do not view her roommate as a friend and would prefer she NOT be there as she wasn't invited. If your friend can't understand this, maybe you could considering not inviting your friend? I'm not sure - I just can't handle people that seem to have no boundaries!! Haha.

Could whoever is hosting the party call her and explain it is only women invited to the wedding.

They guy cooking for my wedding (& also a close family friend) takes this women that lives with him (they're not together) everywhere! & everyone absolutely hates her. She's rude and trashy. I told him straight up she is NOT allowed at my wedding, i'm usually a really nice person but i couldn't stand her. He didn't take any offence to i and just said ok.

DlovesD this roommate is a girl.

And Haley, that is exactly how I feel about this girl! I am a person of fairly high tolerance, but this chick just drives me up the wall. My poor FH plays D&D and she recently joined that because our friend is part of it. Our friend talked about taking a vacation at some point and the roommate says "Hmmmmm, I am not sure that I am going to be able to afford that." We are all just thinking...who said you were invited?! I tolerate most people but I just lose it with her. My friend is the slightly awkward type, and that's why I worry she will get all offended, but she's not as bad as her roommate.

We also thought about, for the wedding, only putting her name on the invitation and not providing a guest option on the online RSVP for her. That, or rather than "guest" on her invitation, we will specifically write "date" so that maybe it makes it a little awkward.

It sounds like tagalong has Aspergers or some form of Autism. Not that it's an excuse, but it would explain the lack of social graces and the over sharing.

I agree with the others - you just have to be straight and tell the friend when you send invitation that they are for HER only. They don't say Suzy Q and Guest...they say Suzy Q, therefore only Suzy Q is welcome to come!

LOL@DLovesD hahaha

You just need to be honest with your friend. Let her know that she, and she alone, is invited. If she's not in a relationship, then you don't need to give her a plus one. Only put her name on the invitation. She can decide to come alone, or to stay home.

Bahahaha ok my comment was obviously read in the wrong context. I didn't mean that your wedding is women only haha.

I meant could the host tell her that the bridal shower is only for the women that you are inviting to the wedding & her roommate is not on that list. Per etiquette, only invited guests should attend the shower.

Hilarious miscommunication.

DlovesD- I thought you wanted someone to tell her only women were invited because the "tag along" was acting like a dude with her gross lactose intolerance and boil comments. I was way off. Lol

Absolutely a "No". Be honest and say "I'm sorry, but since she is not on our list for the wedding we would feel awkward inviting her to the bridal shower... This event is for family and close friends only"

And if she says "she is my wedding date!" Say "I'm sorry I'm only allowing those who are in a relationship to bring people... Unfortunately our budget doesn't allow for any more people" and if she doesn't get the hint by then you will need to just say "I'm sorry but she is not invited".

@FinallyDoingit... I wish I had been that witty! Hahaha

I would not give her a plus one, and talk to her. Tell her that you are inviting close family and friends only and you unfortunately do not have space for her roommate. If she keeps pushing the roommate, tell her that this is a special day and you would really like your nearest and dearest to be there with you.

Abby--I can't believe that I didn't consider that before! I have worked a bit with kids with Aspbergers (SP), but hadn't considered that she might be an adult with it. That's very insightful. Still not sure that I want her at my wedding, but really hadn't considered that at all. Thank you!

Unfortunately, with her being a friend, she probably knows that my guest list is upward of 300, that we aren't expecting all to show, and that we have frequently said "We have saved money elsewhere, and it's a dessert reception, what's a few more people." So, I am not sure that the limits excuse would work...might be worth a try though.

Blame it on me. Tell her that your spiritual advisor told her this would be very, very bad.

LOL @ Celia!

However, I think everyone has given good advice. Be candid. This is a very special time for you and although you are inviting lots of people for your wedding you want the bridal shower to be much more intimate with only YOUR very close friends and family.

Just because your friend happens to have a roommate doesn't mean that you are obligated to invite this person to anything wedding-related. You're not friends with that girl. I would try to be as direct as you can without hurting your friend's feelings.