"The nice way to ask for money"

Sigh

.

Ugh, there is no nice way. Who writes this crap?

I feel like enough people post about honeyfunds that we don't need a thread created just to hate on Honeyfunds lol. We get ample opportunity to protest and talk about them! The tackiness always shows up!

Really...... Again......

I'm so alone in this. My bff and BM got married last June and for her bridal shower did a honeyfund where people could "donate" to the excursions they wanted to book. I actually thought it was a great idea at the time and was excited to pick which activity they would do on my account! I see how it can come across rude and tacky but didn't even think twice about it at the time! I'm not doing this myself... But thought it was great for them.

I feel like it's becoming more and more common. Doesn't make it good etiquette though!

Kris G. I agree. Me & FH's best couple friends got married last year. They are seasonal workers for a ski resort and travel the rest of the year- there was no way mixing bowls and new linens would fit into their life. They had a "honeyfund" set up for them by the bride's sister. FH & I gave them horse back riding on the beach in Hawaii. This was a super meaningful gift for us as we met them working at a ranch and spent our time riding horses. They sent us a picture of them riding on the beach with their thank you and it was really the only gift we would have wanted to give them.

Eta- that being said, FH and I are NOT doing a honeyfund.

If someone flat out just says "give money" I understand that's terrible. But I liked buying them zip lining! It was essentially a registry, but instead of bowls and plates... It was activities. Idk, I don't hate it.

I also do not think people should be asking for help paying for airfare or lodging to the honeymoon. But paying for excursions or fun activities is the same as gifting them something fun.

Kris, you're not actually buying those activities, though. You're essentially just depositing your money into a third party account and they write the couple a check for the total amount, minus a percentage like a finder's fee, which the couple can use on whatever they want.

So that zip lining tour you thought you just bought them? They actually used that money to upgrade to the new iPhone 17. ETA: Obviously a hypothetical situation.

If that is the case, how about if all the haters delete their registries and insist on charitable donations to x, y, or z? Get rid of the money dance, wishing well, or whatever "discrete" way to ask for money that some book or magazine somewhere said was more appropriate while you are at it.

It is a registry, instead of asking people to buy you mundane household goods, you are asking them to help you have a kick ass honeymoon instead. It doesn't matter what kind of registry you have, you are still asking your guests to open their wallets for you. How one form became more acceptable than others is beyond me.

I have a house of everything I need/want. I don't need a KitchenAid, towels, waffle maker.... I need a fricken vacation, and a honeymoon will be just that. It is 2016, not 1956. Suzie Homemakers are not leaving their parents' house and starting fresh and new with their beau after a reasonable courtship.

I'm not having the a registry because I'm an adult who can buy my own things. I don't need to supply a dowry, I don't need people to shower me with items to substitute as a dowry (which is where showers came from) and I'm not a teen going from my dad's house to my husband's house and need to setup house. I'm not registered - everyone's presence is their present. Registries for adults seem greedy IMO.

I think the one they did might have been a little different. It was directly through the resort, and you had to go into their honeymoon account and they actually had the list of offered excursions that the couple chose that they would love to do. I think my scenario is a tiny bit different than a gofundme type of account.

ETA: I did in fact buy them zip lining. Just to state, I got a thank you email from the resort for the particular purchase, and they enjoyed their excursion.

I was on pintrest looking at wedding stuff and they said a 50/50 raffle is a good idea I'm like umm no

Hey hey hey everyone... we all know this is a "great idea". All ideas are "great ideas" lol

Well, people tend to create registries if they're having showers. A shower where a bride doesn't have a physical registry ends up being her opening a bunch of envelopes with money and/or gift cards, which is awkward for guests. If you're not having a shower, there's no need for a registry if you don't want one--still doesn't make honeyfunds a good alternative. Most people give money at weddings anyway, which you can use as you see fit (including for your honeymoon), and they don't need to be told how to do so (which is basically what a honeyfund does).

Kris G - that is not the norm. Most "honeyfunds" are just cash funds. The couple is receiving a check from the honeyfund company which they can spend however they wish. The "registry" lists a bunch of excursions but that is a lie - guests are not buying excursions; the couple only receives cash. So you are not actually purchasing something "fun". They may not even go on the excursion. In fact, they may not even go on the honeymoon. It's very easy to just take the cash and do whatever.

That's the main reason I dislike them - they are deceptive and misleading (mostly).

Pinterest has some good inspirations for those who use it responsibly....and then there is that......and other shit that makes people lose what little common sense they had.

Because asking for donations, June, though it seems 'nicer', is just as bad. Maybe I don't WANT to give to charity X because 2% of their donations actually go to the cause.

As everyone else has said, you're asking for cash. Cash with a fee taken out. There isn't an adult on the planet that doesn't know how to stuff a check in a card.

The people who write these stupid articles are sucking wind for content; they will literally write about anything, tacky or not.

I see a future of tickets to get into the wedding, tickets for cash bars, tickets for 50/50's. After all, it's so much easier, right? and "modern".......

Why even have a wedding? Just skype everyone in and collect the money on paypal.