The infamous list

There’s really no way to spare feelings because everyone is entitled to how they feel, that isn’t in your control. Invite who is important for you to have there and remember this is your day and your decision.

Between his and my family combined we would have had well over 500 people. We are paying for this whole thing on our own and that was just way too much. I had made a public post on social media to all our families saying “we are unable to invite everyone as much as we would love too but there are just too many”. Most of them were understanding, a couple I had to explain it a bit more. If that didn’t work then I had to mention our venue only allowed so many guests. Good luck, I know it’s tough!

View Quoted Comment Thx kelly my cousin was saying the same thing and im just like 😳

View Quoted Comment This is me....my family alone is huge. And my fiancee is paying for the whole wedding the way i want. Lol lied about the venue. For me i cut out kids and tagalongs

View Quoted Comment Trust me I know, I shed many tears because I’m a people pleaser! But then I realized it’s literally impossible to make every single person happy so I had to let it go. I told people that at their wedding they were free to invite who they want 🤷🏼‍♀️

View Quoted Comment We are including kids because my brother and sister in law will be there and their kids are included in the wedding. Everything is being held in one place. I felt bad having their kids there and not allowing others to bring theirs. Thankfully it’s only about 6 kids. I only have one person I’m allowing a tag along and that’s because she is local.

For us it was a venue we want with fabulous food and top shelf open bar or inviting everyone. We opted for #1. No plus 1 unless you are engaged or married. And if we haven't seen you in over a year you aren't invited either. No-one under 21 some people will be pissed and prob won't come (a cousin has been w her bf for about 10 years but they don't live together and are not engaged; another been w her bf for 3 or 4 years but I saw him once and she never comes to anything so I maybe saw her 4 times in a 5 year period). We are trying to keep it under 60 people and this is what has to happen. They say make a rule and follow it for everyone that way people won't get offended. But there are also relatives and friends whose significant others I spend time with on a weekly basis and I would like them there even if they don't fall under the engaged/married category. Will need to wait and see what happens.

View Quoted Comment I did and still do feel bad but when my Matron of Honor which is my first cousin mentioned to do an intimate wedding of close close ppl and no kids. That included her kids and her husband so i was like if shes ok with it then why not. It would also leave out about 4 more kids. The only kids that will be there will be my flower girl in the ring boy. And my kids and my fiance kids are of age our youngest kid is 10 years old and she's an usher so she's you know our kids are actually participating....but dilemmas

Yeah my family is insanely huge. I have 6 siblings plus spouses, 10 nieces, and cousins by the dozens. I just said "look, I'm having immediate family only due to budget restrictions." Most were happy with that.

View Quoted Comment Right... I wholeheartedly agree the venue that I'm looking at is Beautiful Everything is white all crystal white and to have 200-plus family members that you have not seen in over a year is ridiculous but my matron of honor limited down to if you have not seen them in six months and they don't make the list. And I would like to have that top notch venue and not the hassle trying to accommodate feeding everyone that I have not seen and be subject to not securing the venue that I want

View Quoted Comment Omg...thank you. You guys are making me feel better

Thank you All ....you all are making me feel better. I am not alone 😆. Dont wanna be a bridezilla

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Oh good! You know I limited my guest list to these people:

Do I interact with them weekly?

Are they the child or spouse I interact with weekly?

Will my mom whip my butt if I don't invite them?

It is definitely super easy for the guest list to bloat

I feel your pain. If we could have invited everyone that means something to us we would have hosted at least 300. Instead we invited around 50. I just spent the weekend with so many people that are thrilled for us, many I am truly close to, but could not invite to the wedding for budget and space reasons. As much as I felt guilty, not one of them was upset or offended. Many would have had to decline the invite anyway due to their own plans. In the end I feel making those tough calls led us to ensuring every person at our wedding is someone who truly loves and supports us. I hope you find that to be true for you as well.

I understand. My oldest daughter had immediate family only - a total of 11 people. We would have loved to invite aunts/uncles and cousins. But that's not what they wanted and since we kept it very small, people eventually understood. Now that they family has had 5 large weddings and 3 more scheduled for the next 2 years, everyone thinks they had the right idea, LOL!

View Quoted Comment Cool....lol thats funny. You dont know until you are in that situation

We invited by social circle. So parents/their significant others, siblings/their significant others.

the next would be first aunts/uncles/cousins.

there were definitely some aunts that were not happy. They’ll get over it.

Man oh Man girl i feel your pain, my family is huge!!! but to be honest i don't interact with them on a regular. Just my immediate family so the expended will be upset but oh well, i refuse to go broke for this wedding.

The struggle is real!!!. I redo mine everyday. It's driving me crazy. I've just come to realize I cannot have everyone there. My deciding factors are family and friends I am in contact with all the time. I agree with Garnise...can't go broke