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Just Said Yes October 2019

The “i didn’t get invited” Conversation

Julie, on July 21, 2019 at 6:34 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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My FH and I have a pretty large friend group, and we’re not able to invite all of our friends to our wedding due to budget constraints. We’ve run into a few awkward situations already with friends that did not make the list, and have had to respond with things like “Oh, we’re so sorry we couldn’t invite everyone, we are on a budget,” or “We would have loved to have you there but we had to keep the guest list tight.” I know this is a conversation we won’t be able to avoid entirely, even after the wedding, I’m just wondering how others have dealt with this in their own pre-wedding/post-wedding scenarios. We love our friends, and want to keep their feelings in mind.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Jolie, on July 22, 2019 at 10:33 AM

Master August 2019
CourtneyBrittain · on July 21, 2019 at 7:16 PM
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I've had to say that we both come from large families and that we ran out of room with the venue. That and saying it's smaller due to budget works as well. Most people should be understanding, I can't really see other people being upset unless you invited everyone you work with except one specific person.
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Master December 2019
Courtney · on July 21, 2019 at 7:41 PM
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I got that from a friend recently. My first thought was we weren't invited to theirs 2 years ago despite me knowing the groom since high school. She said it was because of budget reasons. I said what do you think my reason is?!?
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 21, 2019 at 8:29 PM
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Ugh it's so awkward . I don't think it'll ever not be awkward aha. Usually I just say the venue only had x amount of room and we went over the guest count allotted already
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VIP June 2020
Jessica · on July 22, 2019 at 10:22 AM
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It's such a hard conversation to have! We had one girl who FH works with (who I can't stand) say she better be invited and FH just laughed and was like well your not. lol. As for other people who have asked we have told them that our venue only allows X amount of people so we are on a tight guest list count and at our max. We then tell that that they are on the list to be invited once people decline and they have all been happy about that answer.
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Master October 2019
Jolie · on July 22, 2019 at 10:33 AM
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Thankfully we haven't run into this. We have avoided the friends we didn't invite. But honestly I wouldn't even call them our friends. They are acquaintances/friends of friends so I don't feel bad. We are now in the stage of "this military friend has a new girlfriend, and so does this one, and oh this one was engaged but now he has a new girlfriend". I am generally so mad about it. I didn't want strangers at my wedding and can't keep up with people's dating lives. I told FH the girlfriends are invited by name so if they break up they don't get a different date. He said he agrees completely so at least we are on the same page with that.
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