Elisse
Beginner September 2020

The Guest List

Elisse, on July 9, 2019 at 6:43 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
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Has anyone had a problem with coming up with their guests list? Like having the in-laws try to modify it even though the groom already has. I don’t want to start a fight so early with my in- laws but they do not seem to understand we can only have 150 and they are getting mad because there are people missing from their 88 people list they have provided. So how do I approach this situation? I mean I have done it several times but maybe someone has a different way of doing it.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Elisse, on July 9, 2019 at 10:39 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You don’t, your FH should deal with his own family.
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  • Brooke
    Expert November 2019
    Brooke ·
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    When my FH and I first started to put our guest list together we did not want to exceed 120 guest, even though our venue holds 150 for the ceremony and 200 for the reception. After coming up with our list, of course both mine and his parents have people they want to invite which put our guest list at 232! We all had a talk and realized we weren't going to be able to invite everyone and their mother. What we settled on was to invite who we originally wanted to, then send out separate invitations to the remaining people (not all 232, but cut that down to 175) invitiations to the reception to celebrate our marriage. Basically I explained to my parent's that if they wanted to invite their friend's, that is fine since they are paying for the wedding/reception.

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  • Kristin
    Super November 2019
    Kristin ·
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    At the start of our planning, before we even started looking at venues we asked all the parents for a rough estimate of how many people they would like to invite; including extended family, friends, and coworkers. Once we had their initial numbers and ours we started looking at venues. Once it came time to finalize the guest list we gave each of our parents a number they could invite that would keep us within budget and venue capacity. At that point it was up to them to cut as necessary to make those numbers. We gave them a heads up ahead of time and they both got the initial numbers they requested. FIL's didn't have quite as many as they thought so we gave those extras to my parents if they wanted them and gave them both last add dates where we would not add any additions. So far, 4 months out, everything (on that end of things anyway) has gone smooth, and I think its because we gave them all targets and made everyone aware of the plan 22 months ahead of time.

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  • Cassandra
    Dedicated October 2019
    Cassandra ·
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    I've come across the same problem. There are some people my FH simple put his foot down and refused to invite and there are others where his mother requested and when we said we couldn't afford it multiple times she said she would pay for the guests. We decided if the guests we at least somewhat significant to us and they were being paid for it was okay.

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  • Elisse
    Beginner September 2020
    Elisse ·
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    Thanks for your response. We have been doing this guest list for the last year and well I am still not getting married until next year. But we have our venue it literally only fits 150 no more than that.. has it is it’s pretty tight in there. But I think I’m going to take the advice on just giving her a number.
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  • Elisse
    Beginner September 2020
    Elisse ·
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    Thanks for your response. We have been doing this guest list for the last year and well I am still not getting married until next year. But we have our venue it literally only fits 150 no more than that.. has it is it’s pretty tight in there. But I think I’m going to take the advice on just giving her a number.
    • Reply
  • Elisse
    Beginner September 2020
    Elisse ·
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    Yes I am getting the same response that she will pay for it. But it’s not a matter of money it’s a matter of the venue literally only fits 150 people and that’s tight as it is.
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  • Elisse
    Beginner September 2020
    Elisse ·
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    I completely agree!
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