The Future in Laws

What is she causing stress & difficulty with? Wedding related things? I would just stop involving her in wedding planning or bringing up the wedding at all. If she becomes overbearing, you need to tell your fiance so he can talk to her.

View Quoted Comment My fiancé knows, the issue is that she wants to be planning our wedding and she is getting upset that we are making decisions without her.

Agree with PP. I suggest politely keeping her updated at a very high level; but do not involve her with the angst, decisions and details - because she will indeed make it more angst'y!! This is how we handle certain family members; we share the issues and ask for input with decisions only with the wise, problem solvers in our support system. LOL.

I am dealing with the same. My solution has been to tell her less overall in the details and to only involve her in projects I don't care much about. For instance, I don't care about the dessert so i asked if she would help with that. She also spent awhile collecting addresses for her side of the guestlist. Once I had picked out my dress, the color scheme, and the bridal party attire with my fiancé I sent her an email with all the information and inspo photos so she could see it (rather than getting her opinion BEFORE it was purchased/decided). You could ask her to plan the rehearsal dinner? Give her a project to make her feel involved and only disclose other decisions after the fact (if at all).

View Quoted Comment Yeah that’s what we have been doing. She got upset when my fiancé got his suit without her. We have been giving her small projects. We picked a photographer and she got upset cause in her mind that was her job.

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I can completely relate. We deal with the same reactions and worse. It causes such a strain. It's definitely a control thing which usually has roots deeper than just the wedding. As long as you and your fiancé are on the same page about how you handle things then you are golden. You are a team and make decisions together- always remember that when things get tough.

I wouldn’t involve her in decisions, and I would let her throw a fit. Getting upset about picking a suit seems extreme to me and it’s only going to get worse after you’re married if it doesn’t stop now.

She is probably overly excited and whats to be a major part of planning. You can find a way to include her but you don't have to choose all the thing she likes. I think just having her around would make her feel included.

View Quoted Comment Don't you hate times when you really want to turn to someone else's parents and say, grow up and behave yourself? ( Or worse, your own.). Your FI needs to gently explain that this is your wedding. You are the hosts. Mommy is a very much loved guest. Guest plan the party. Guests see to their own affairs, and dress appropriately, and come enjoy the party. They do not rearrange the hosts' plans to please themselves. She has known that for decades. But needs a friendly reminder to relax, and let you do the planning. I am sure she has good intentions, but we all know where that road goes.

I feel this on such a deep level right now... my FMIL is driving me crazy. we had been engaged two days when she told me she already let their family photographer (WHO LIVES 1,000 MILES AWAY) that we got engaged and told me this photographer was so excited to shoot our wedding...... Um no, FMIL, I will not be using your family photographer!

And shes very crafty and good at DIY. but she has begun to make little hand braided wish bracelets and is insisting that those be our wedding favors.... once again: NO.

I feel you, and I'm here for you. We just have to remember that these are OUR weddings. Not theirs.