The Fiance's Parents inviting their friends to the wedding

Have you given final numbers to caterer?

How many friends are we talking here?

The caterer needs the final number by July 22nd.

They are inviting their neighbors and friends

Using their place as in they own your venue? I'd say they'd be more than entitled to invite some guests then. That's their contribution.

If you haven't given final numbers to cater then I'd let it go. However if you did and there will be a few involved for those unexpected guests then I'd talk with the parents and ask them to pitch in. It's tight spot your in since it's their property but your wedding.

Maybe ask them how many they are inviting and try to accommodate them? It would be respectful since they are helping and will also be family soon. Or have a discussion and set a reasonable number to invite together.

FH's mom asked me if she could invite a few extra friends, and she asked because she knew we have a maximum allowable headcount. She was only asking for 4 more people and we were for sure able to make that work.

Good luck!

I didn't think of it that way. You guys are right about its their place and they get to do what they want. I just go with the flow and stop stressing over the little things. Thank you all for your advice.

I feel like that's inappropriate even if they are letting you use their property and are paying for part of the wedding. This could possibly be super awkward for you and the FH not to mention the guests that were intentionally invited. I would say mention it to them, bit it's to late you can't just uninvite someone.

How many friends? Also did they send out invitations? How will you give the final number if these friends don't RSVP? I would be mad and have my FH talk to them about it. Say something like "Mom and Dad I know you'd like to invite your friends but we are already at capacity for our budget. It would cost an extra $200 per person you invite." Then see what they say.

We mailed out the invitations the last week of may. And they told us a week ago that they were inviting their friends to come. My FH doesn't see the problem but I tend to stress about everything that comes my way with planning this wedding. I am ready to be done and can't wait for the honeymoon to relax and get away from it all.

I feel you, but you may have to just go with this one. My FILs gave us some money for our wedding, then proceeded to insist that we invite 48 members of their family - all local and some not that close to them, but are insistent on coming. We got them to cut it down to 32 in the end, but since they gave us money for the catering, we had to suck it up a bit.

Is it an excessive amount? Or is it just a few people? You may just want to speak to your FMIL about how you already invited people and have a limit as to what you can afford. They should be reasonable when it comes to listening to you.

You stated in your original post that your FILs have saved you money by allowing you to hold the wedding on their property. It may not be handing you money for the wedding, but in my mind that is a financial contribution. Plus anyway you look at it, the event will be an imposition on them. I think due to that, you should let them invite some neighbors and friends. You don't have to let them go crazy adding people, they should keep it reasonable. But I don't think their request is out of line.

My FMIL invited 300 of her friends..our list was 200. So now we have 500 people. She is paying for the difference which is about 40k. Completely ridiculous but hey, shes paying. I would recommend asking if they are paying for the difference. If they are, go for it. If they are not then say sorry, cant fit them. I read they are offering their place for the reception, outta luck there lol you kinda have to be flexible lol you are saving on the reception hall afterall.

Do you not need to know how many people will be attending for your caterer? FI's mother, FI's problem. He needs to find out how many people she invited, and how many are coming.

If you are using their place as a venue, they are absolutely entitled to invite a few friends.

So they were just verbally invited?? That's not ok. If your in laws want them added to the guest list, you at least need to send a formal invite and get an official RSVP.

Find out how many of their friends are coming and accommodate them since you are using their place

Personally, I think that since you guys ARE using THEIR place for your wedding, you should let them invite their friends BUT if they're talking like 10, 15 or more, that would bother me. I'd ask my fiancé to tell them to pay for their friends then.

Did you ask how many yet? If your wedding is 100 people and they are inviting 20, that kind of throws off the vision of the event. But if it's a few, you definitely should let it go and try to accommodate as a small "thank you" for providing a venue.