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Just Said Yes September 2021

The Dad Situation

Paige, on October 24, 2020 at 8:42 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 20

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So, I’ve found myself in a bit of a pickle. I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. I’m his only daughter out of 5 children, and he’s been looking forward to this moment for a while. I also think, since my mom is involved in more of the planning process, getting to walk with me on the big day would make my dad feel special, too. Trouble is, I do NOT want to be “given away.” Really not any wiggle room in me on that one, I don’t ever want to be treated like an object, let alone on my wedding day. Any suggestions for what the officiant should say instead of “who gives this woman?” I want the transition from aisle to arch to feel smooth without it becoming a transaction.

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20 Comments

Latest activity by Elizabeth, on October 26, 2020 at 4:59 PM

Super January 2021
Sharonda · on October 24, 2020 at 8:48 PM
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To address your concerns, I don’t think the officiant needs to say anything. Why not have your dad walk you down the aisle, greet your fiancé (handshake or hug) and then take his seat? At that point, the officiant can begin the ceremony.
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Just Said Yes September 2021
Paige · on October 24, 2020 at 8:50 PM
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I know it probably sounds silly, but I was worried that not saying anything would make people feel awkward! This scenario is what I would prefer, but I don’t want the guests to feel like they missed something. Maybe I’m overthinking
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Rockstar July 2022
Lisa · on October 24, 2020 at 8:53 PM
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The officiant could say something along the lines of, "Who presents this woman?" or "Who escorts this woman?"
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Super January 2021
Sharonda · on October 24, 2020 at 8:56 PM
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They won’t feel awkward or think they missed anything. They’ll see your dad walk you down the aisle and probably won’t even realize that line was not said. Plus, these are days, plenty of brides walk down the aisle alone (by choice or for whatever reason) or have a non traditional entrance and aren’t “given away” — this is no different. Don’t stress about it.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on October 24, 2020 at 9:04 PM
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I don’t the officiant needs to say anything. I would just have your dad “hand you off” to your husband a few steps before the alter, hugs/handshake, etc., and then you and your husband approach the alter together. My five year old nephew will be walking me down the aisle, so there will definitely not be any sort of giving me away questions 😀
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on October 24, 2020 at 9:24 PM
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My officiant didn’t say anything. I gave my dad a hug and he placed my hand in my husband’s and then walked to his seat.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on October 24, 2020 at 9:33 PM
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This doesn’t seem awkward at all to me- I wouldn’t have ever thought twice about it. And to be honest, I haven’t been to a wedding for anyone over the age of 30 whose officiant has said that line in many, many years (or the line where they say the woman must “obey” her husband).
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on October 24, 2020 at 9:55 PM
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The officiant doesn’t need to say anything at all.
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Super February 2020
Karla · on October 24, 2020 at 9:59 PM
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My parents walked me down the aisle, and the officiant literally said anything along the lines of “who gives this woman away”. My mom and dad hugged me, my mom hugged my husband and dad shook his hand. Then they took their seats.
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Super February 2020
Karla · on October 24, 2020 at 9:59 PM
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*DIDN’T SAY
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Super October 2022
Michele · on October 24, 2020 at 10:26 PM
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In modern times, the whole "who gives this woman" line is not even said so it's not a thing to begin with. Make sure your officiant doesn't say it for peace of mind.
Having someone walk you down the aisle is basically someone to lean on and keep the nerves at bay and making sure you walk at a slow pace rather than rushing. Don't read into more than that.
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on October 24, 2020 at 10:51 PM
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Agree with the others- in today’s times that’s not even said, at least not in the weddings I’ve been too. Definitely talk with your officiant about your concerns.
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Super October 2021
Ashley · on October 24, 2020 at 11:44 PM
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Have a seat for him close to the aisle. At the end, give him a kiss on the cheek and have him step to his seat while you face your future spouse. Then, just let the officiant greet everyone and begin
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Master 0000
Judith · on October 25, 2020 at 1:24 AM
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In our culture, it is, who has raised this young woman /young man , and presents her/him here today to be married. And usually both parents, or all elders of the family as well as the father answer we do / I do.
But I notice more Americanized folks usually have just the father or father and mother answer.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on October 25, 2020 at 2:13 AM
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There were literally no words exchanged as I stepped in front of my now-husband. My mom walked me down the aisle (was supposed to be both parents but dad is disabled and had a bad pain day) and then I hugged her and turned to my husband, and the officiant started in on his thing. You do not need a "giving away" or "presentation" of the bride. I've actually only been to 1 wedding where there was a formal exchange, so I think it's less common, at least by me.
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Devoted August 2023
Hhh · on October 25, 2020 at 3:21 AM
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Just wanted to give more support that nothing needs to be said and it won’t be weird. I didn’t even realize that was a thing until a recent wedding I went to, where they did say it and caught many of my friend group off guard, because I hadn’t ever heard it before. If he walks you down and there is no announcement, it is just a sweet moment with your dad, nothing more.
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Dedicated October 2021
Corrin · on October 25, 2020 at 2:02 PM
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I'm the same. My dad really wants to walk me down the aisle, but I absolutely hate the idea of being "given away." So we're not saying anything. I'm just going to hug him at the end of the aisle, let him take his seat, and then stand next to my fiance. Not weird at all - especially if you have music playing anyway.
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Rockstar July 2018
Mcskipper · on October 25, 2020 at 3:46 PM
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Nothing at all. It’s not weird. We walked to the end of the aisle and I gave my parents each a hug, and they sat down and the officiant started the ceremony , I think welcoming the guests or something
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VIP August 2020
· on October 25, 2020 at 6:44 PM
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I was really uncomfortable with that, too. My dad walked me down the aisle and we just fist bumped (because covid) at the end, the officiant didn't say anything. It wasn't weird.
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Dedicated October 2021
Elizabeth · on October 26, 2020 at 4:59 PM
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When I got married, for the first time, my dad walked me down the aisle. When, the pastor asked, "Who gives this woman away?" He replied, "She gives herself, with her mother's and mine approval."
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