The Best Wedding Advice You Can Give

Do NOT go into debt for a wedding.

Best advice so far that I got from my cousin was to create a separate wedding email! I use this for various websites when they want you to sign up for promotional offers, for vendor contacts, for order receipts, even for emailing friends and family about the wedding. I use google docs through that email to organize all the contracts, the wedding budget, etc. That way all wedding related stuff is in one place, all the wedding spam email goes to the same place and doesn't flood your other email. That also means you can choose when to turn on "wedding mode" and when you want to ignore it for a little while. My fiance has the email and password (not that he remembers it) so theoretically he could also access it independent of me to look up information or contribute. And (sorry for the long post) since we live in Texas and are marrying in Ohio, it means that we can access all our important documents from anywhere so that when we do travel for the wedding we don't need to worry about remembering lots of printed paper or a computer, we can just grab one of our parents computers, print there and be done. This already came in handy when we went back to hire caterers and decide on a venue.

Keep it simple!
My boss told me that everyone is on your side. What he meant was that everyone there is attending to support you, so you don’t have to feel like you need all these extras and little details that guests will most likely not remember because their main goal is to attend in support of you so even if all you literally had was one plate dinner and nothing else at all, that’s ok!

Example: One of my friends is a vegetarian and she said she didn’t think her vegetarian entree was good but she said she didn’t come for the food anyway - she came for me and to support my new chapter in life.

Don't sweat the small stuff - no one's going to notice the carpet (if your venue has carpet) or the chairs (as long as every butt has a seat) or that whatever doesn't *precisely* match the other colors.

Sit down with fiance and decide what the two of you want. Do not include other (family etc) opinions because this is your wedding, not theirs. Do not let others pressure you into anything because they will take a mile if you give them an inch. If some aspect has meaning to you, keep it. If you don't want something, toss it.


Look outside the box. There is zero reason that weddings should be as expensive as they are. They get away with it because they know people won't blink or fight it, plus the huge industry that gaslights couples into believing their wedding will be a humiliation to everyone if it isn't out of a magazine with the pricetag to match. Get creative at saving money while still maintaining quality, and don't let anyone make you feel bad. But also never ask your guests to pay their own way.
Etiquette is here to stay forever. It is how we navigate the human experience of social situations to avoid awkward/rude behavior. It does not change. Tradition (customs and activities within a social group or culture) changes and is tossed out everyday. The two are not interchangeable contrary to popular belief.

Hi Megan! A nitty detail is to ensure someone lights your reception candles 😂 the candles never got lit at mine (in the grand scheme of the world this is no means a catastrophe, but something I wish in hindsight I would have assigned someone to check!) Happy Planning ❤️

View Quoted Comment This is true. I have friends who took credit for their destination vow renewal. Even though they did it intimately, they splurge on the photographer, hotel, and what else I don’t know. Her super religious husband apparently still cheat around even after renewing their vows, and guess what... They still haven’t paid off their debt for their wedmoon until today. Keep things real. Buy some time to work and save money than to take credit for a wedding or renewal.

As someone else said, set up a wedding email! So much easier.
Also trust your instincts when dealing with potential vendors. if it doesn't feel right don't book them, even if the price is too good to be true or they have good reviews.
The other thing is don't sweat the small stuff. No one cares what your napkins look like. Don't get caught up in the Pinterest/Instagram perfect wedding. Everyone is there to see you get married and celebrate that. As long as the food and music is good everyone will have fun.

View Quoted Comment Right! Whenever I save money with FH for a goal I feel soooo appreciative when we achieve it. Teamwork 💪

View Quoted Comment This was going to be my suggestion! Breathe, the small stuff doesn’t matter. I saw a meme the other day that said something like no one is ever going to know what you DIDN’T have (or said no to, or something along those lines)
Centerpieces were stressing me out big time I couldn’t afford what I wanted I didn’t know what to do. I finally said no one is going to care or remember any way. And then I went a bought some candle holders and called it a day. My tables looked nice and the lack of flowers bothered no one.
My second piece of advice is shop around and maybe think outside the box a little. I live in an expensive city and worried how We would afford it all. I found a venue and caterer 40 minutes from the downtown area that fit perfectly into my budget and they were great!

View Quoted Comment 100% this! I still swear my sister paid for seat coverings at her wedding, and she’s adamant she didn’t 😂 So clearly no one remembers the chairs. Put that money elsewhere.

Whatever you do, be careful who you send save the dates to! I sent mine out months ago and was on the fence about two people that my fiancé wanted there. Low and behold now we don’t really want to invite them but we have to because of the save the date. So if either of you is not 100% about it(even if the other is) do not send a save the date to them. It’ll save you from having someone you don’t want at your special day.

Adding to the chorus of WEDDING EMAIL.

Bonus - it's something you both can access, and later, can turn into an email for joint bank accounts, bills, etc.

Also - think about all the weddings you've been to. What do you remember?

The things you remember are the things that are most important to you. So, focus on those things. Whatever you didn't remember, but is "necessary", you can spend the minimal amount of time/money/energy on... and let go.

Utilizing the WW forums ! I use this group to get outside opinions without involving family and friends. I feel less guilty not taking the advice of strangers if I decide to go one way vs the pressure to give in to those close to me. The advice and opinions don't come from a place of selfishness, bias, or ill intentions. I've asked everything from silly to serious questions and loved the support!

I like the advice to not go into debt for a wedding!

Some of my favorite money saving tips have been:

• Skip the huge wedding cake and ask your baker to put 1 or 2 tiers of actual cake, and make the rest of the tears out of styrofoam covered in frosting. Or work with them to use cool boxes/shapes to make up the extra tiers. Or, if you don't care about the aesthetic of the cake, just have a small cake and then serve your guests sheet cakes. Or serve smaller sweets like cake pops or cupcakes. This will literally save you hundreds of dollars.

• Skip the favors unless there's an idea you're really attached to.
• Don't spend a ton on invitations. Most people will end up throwing them away and that money could be used toward better photography or videography instead.

Honestly, accept the fact that there are going to be people that just aren't going to give a crap about you, your fiancee, and your wedding. I had to come to accept the fact that more than half of my family aren't going to be going to my wedding, sighting COVID as their reason, when I know for a fact they're going partying elsewhere at the beach or in the mountains. >_>

I'm just going to tell you that you will learn what people have your back, and what people could care less.

Eat small carb light items throughout the day of the wedding- avoid booze at all costs until after the ceremony that way you feel and look your best in your photos

Pinterest is your best friend and your worst enemy! I created a wedding board that I wanted my wedding to be and when it came down to it, I deleted so much because all of it is sooo expensive and it wasn’t about me and my fiancé! We made our little details about us and will be so much more special! Shop around vendors, ask for your friends and family but I saved hundreds by doing this and not hopping on the first one that some one suggested especially flowers and DJ. Ohh and def let it be about you & your fiancé! Eeek such an exciting time right now!

Make it about you (the two of you).

We had to change our plans because of Covid (got married in May 2020), and we ended up having a mini-ceremony with just our parents and a few close friends. When we knew the wedding we planned was out of the question, we could have opted for something totally different (a beautiful scenic mountaintop elopement) but ended up doing the same venue, same attire, etc to keep everything simple and so our parents could attend (hiking a mountain was out of the question for them). Trying to include our families when the situation had changed so much ended up adding a ton of stress to the day and it didn't feel like a celebration at all - my MIL wouldn't hug us because she was so worried about Covid, we had to host out-of-town family because hotels and restaurants were shut down so it was a lot of work and we had zero privacy the entire weekend, etc. I really wish we had just eloped, just the two of us, and focused the day entirely on ourselves when we knew we wouldn't have the support system and professional help we originally planned for. Instead, I felt like we tried to make our parents happy, and spent too much time focusing on the needs of others instead of what we wanted out of the day.

So put yourselves first. Its your day. That doesn't mean be mean to other people or become a bridezilla, but just be sure to focus on what matters to you and don't get too caught up in making every detail perfect or meeting other people's expectations.

Also its okay to change plans if the situation calls for it!

Remember it’s you and your partners day. Don’t stress over trying to please others because in the end you’ll never be able to please everyone.


Also, don’t think you have to spend a whole lot of money to have a beautiful wedding
Best of luck and happy planning!