The +1 Debate

We went through this and decided due to occupancy restrictions with Covid and the limitation on our guest count, not to include +1’s for single guests or one guest who’s girlfriend we have never met. If we’ve met them, they’re married, engaged, etc. they’re invited.

They're single, they all know each other and will be sitting together, and you can't accommodate plus ones. This seems like a pretty unanimous decision.

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Id like to think of it that way, but I know that since I'm the one dealing with the issues I can become jaded. So I'm open to input. However, I would like to believe that those reasons would be enough for the guests to be understanding.

If there are single and know other people then i don't think it is necessary to give them a plus one. Couples should be invited as social units though.

If they are truly single and not dating anybody, then you have no obligation whatsoever to give them a plus one. If they're in a relationship (whether a 6 year relationship or a 6 month relationship), then I would definitely invite their significant others. That's my two cents, at least!

I think if you're inviting unmarried couples, any couple, living together or not, should be invited. People choose to live apart when dating/engaged for various reasons--it doesn't mean the relationship isn't serious or important.


I also still err on the side of giving plus ones. It can help a single guest feel more comfortable coming. If they have friends coming, they won't bring a plus one. But if maybe they've become more distant from those friends or are otherwise less connected to the guests, they will have a better time if they have a plus one as a companion and travel buddy.

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Veronica,

Of course! All dating couples are invited. Just those who are single are the people we're considering in this situation.

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Marcia,

Thats a good point. They do live in the area of our wedding and also most of their parents are going too. Everyone who is dating, married, or engaged, are invited as a unit already.

View Quoted Comment I think if family are going, that's a fine unit! I didn't get a plus one to my cousin's wedding because I was there with my sisters and parents, even though I was an adult

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I would only give a plus one to someone if they don't anyone else at the wedding. Most people that we gave plus ones to didn't bring one anyways.

We have a very small occupancy at our venue because we wanted a small wedding, so we really only have room for close family and our wedding party. We are giving a plus one to our best man because they have been dating a long time but that's it. We have a had people ask but because of covid and our already small limit we have said no. This excludes married couples and those living together. Those people are automatically counted as 2 people.

I agree if they are friends they don't need to bring a guest but i do think if they won't know anyone then it would be nice to give them a guest unless they are super extroverted and you think they'd be fine or they say they'd be fine

We followed the "no ring, no bring" rule. Some of the cousins on both side of family were single and we didn't want them bringing strangers. (A majority of our friends are already married/engaged at the time)/ The only exception to that rule was for our MOH and Best Man as we personally knew who they were going to bring.

If they’re a couple, it’s not a plus one. Couples are social units and should always be invited together. I wouldn’t attend a wedding if my significant other wasn’t invited, regardless of how long we were together. I also don’t feel it is my place to judge other’s relationships by length of time, martial status, etc.

A random date is a different story. There’s nothing wrong with not allowing single guests to bring someone, especially when they’ll know people there. We aren’t doing plus ones because it’s just not in the budget. We have one exception which is for the only single member of the bridal party because the bridal party should always get plus ones and he won’t really know anyone besides my FH and one of the other groomsmen.

View Quoted Comment Ashley,
I completely agree. Which is why I’m referring to those who do not have a significant other and are otherwise single.

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Melle,

That's a good point! I like that idea. I would feel horrible if someone didn't know anybody and they didn't have a date. I also wouldn't even go if I were in their shoes.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. You are not required to invite random strangers so your single guests who know others will not be bored. But anyone who is in a relationship needs to be invited with their partner.

I view couples as a unit, they're together & count as one. However, like you, we do have our limits especially since we're on a budget & can't accommodate anyone. If I am aware you're with someone (living together or not) then the significant other is automatically included in the invite. My uncle has been dating his gf for a while now, I know she exists so she's automatically included and the same goes for my aunt's bf. Now if someone is/has been single up until I send the invites then they don't get a plus one. It sounds cruel, but we don't want someone to randomly show up & then we're stuck paying for extra people. The venue can & will make accommodations, but each adult is $65 and that can add up if multiple people decide they're bringing dates & we don't know about it.

You do what you feel is best & it's perfectly fine to cut back on plus one's.