Thank yous when they may have attended?

You only need to send thank yous to those who gave gifts.

You only need to write thank yous for gifts. Also I would assume you could figure out who was there based on RSVP list?

Thank you cards are for gifts, not attendance. The reception is your thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony.

You should only send thank you notes for people who gave gifts.

It can often come off as passive aggressive to send a thank you "for attending" - like you're making a point to say that they didn't give you a gift. Especially because the reception is actually the thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment I edited and reposted my question, as I am only writing thank yous to those who gave gifts. The numbers about attendance were only given to show why I am struggling to remember who came.

If I’m reading this right, the OP does only intend to write thank you’s for gifts received but wanted to personalize with a “so good to have seen you” message. Unfortunately, if you truly can’t remember if someone was there or not, I don’t think you have any business trying to write that sort of note. It would rub me the wrong way if I went to a wedding and clearly never interacted with the bride and received a note gushing about how nice it was to have seen me— it would feel insincere and I’d presume I was basically just receiving a form letter with s the same script someone else got. The message that gives off I think is more or less the opposite of your intention.

View Quoted Comment Do you mean people gave you gifts but you don’t actually know if they came to the wedding?

Which is to say. I think you’re better off keeping it real, and talking more about the gifts

View Quoted Comment I hadn't thought of this. Thank you. I just want everyone to feel appreciated, but have a terrible memory. I will go with a less personalized message and just say something appreciative towards the gift. Thank you again!

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, yes. There were alot of people, and the day went by so quickly, it's kind of a blur.

View Quoted Comment Ok, I will do this, thank you!

View Quoted Comment For those you do recall having ‘moments’ with, by all means, mention it. I’d just be careful not to make something up, so to speak, for the sake of the card. I had to tread around this myself with a cousin’s wife who I know was theoretically there, but I never laid eyes on her. I’m not sure if she may have left early. I know she has some health issues so I wonder if she wasn’t feeling up for it and left before dinner. But, I truly have no idea. So I kind of danced around it in my card, as I didn’t want to talk about all the fun we had together if she was sick and miserable! Instead I spent a little extra time gushing about the gift and what we’d use it for.

View Quoted Comment This is very helpful. There were several families like this there. I also had a greeting line, so I can't remember who came through and who didn't. The day was magical, but I mostly just remember my husband, wedding party and immediate family. I will stick with what I remember and the gift.
I really appreciate your time and thoughts.

You only write thank you cards for people who gave you a card or gift

You only send thank you notes for gifts or services, not for attending. Later if you want to write to everyone, do it on regular letter stationery and format. Ordinarily, when guests take advantage of your hospitality, come to your event, eat, drink, socialize in a nice setting, or share in a significant eremony, they owe you the hosts a thank you note, or to bring a note and hostess gift when they come. Not just weddings, but all significant invitation only events, dinner party, spring ball, wedding. In the case of weddings, it is customary for guests with a relationship to the couple to give a gift, and their SO or dates give a hostess size token gift ( or contribute a little to main gift.). Sent before or after the wedding, this relieves guests from also writing a thank you to the hosts.
But guests thank hosts for providing the wonderful party. Hosts don't thank guests. That would be backwards of standard etiquette. Hosts are welcome g and polite at the event, It is so nice to see you, we are happy you could come, etc. But hosts only send thank you notes for gifts, or special services, that is all . Lots of people get mixed up with this. There is lits of wacky etiquette on WW, people who learn from TV and wedding stuff. The greeting card industry pushes using special stationery, gift makers thing each couple should buy forty small gifts to give out at wedding time. But this is all a distortion of basic good manners. . . .You likely have one gift , maybe 2, per couple, family, or person alone. And shower gifts. And a thank you, with often a gift, to bridal party and shower or bach hostesses. That is enough.

In general a thank you note only needs to acknowledge the gift. If you do you remember a nice moment with the person then include it, but otherwise don't worry about it.
Congratulations