Thank Yous for Uninvited Guests?

I'm not 100% of the rule but we are sending thank you cards to those who give a card or gift. The reception (plated dinner and open bar) are the thank you for coming to the wedding.

You only send thank yous to people who give you presents; the reception itself is a thank you for attending the ceremony. But why do you think that there are going to be uninvited guests?

View Quoted Comment Outside of aunts, uncles, grandparents and immediate family, we only invited younger cousins who'd need a sitter as a courtesy to our aunts and uncles with little ones. I am expecting maybe some of our older, grown cousins we didn't invite coming to the wedding either because they're parents forgot or they just want to.

We also have some cousins who have invited us to their weddings (after we sent out our StDs and invites weeks ago) - but we don't have the mailing addresses for these cousins (or really any of our cousins) because we never received invites in the mail, but we were later contacted through parents about whether or not we are coming.

I wouldn't thank someone for coming to my wedding when they weren't invited.

View Quoted Comment Right?! I wasn't positive if it was outside of proper etiquette to not send them a thank you, though.

Unless they bring cards or a gift, I won't bother.

“Thank you for showing up without an invite”

but it in all seriousness, I don’t think it’s necessary to send thank yous to them. And it seems like most uninvited guests will be family? I’m pretty sure sending a thank you to the immediate family they’re a part of would be good enough

You thank people with a note or hand written letter for any shower or wedding gifts, and for any services performed. That might be someone who matted and framed photographs, hosted a party, did dress alterations free as a gift. Verbal thank you should be given if they are there when you receive the gift. Most wedding gifts are delivered before or after the wedding, and some in cards not opened until layer. Those one says thank you for the next time you see them in appropriate circumstances. So maybe at the wedding, you say something, provided not embarrassing to them or onlookers. Never, wow, that $150 you gave us...but, we have been working to make our place look less like a student apt, more like a home, and your gift is a real help in doing that... Or whatever is true that does not mention money amounts, but coveys your appreciation. So gifts get both things. However , a reception you give is part of the celebration of your marriage, a marriage feast tradition, and you ( in some cultures with help from others).are giving the party. At some point, all guests should verbally thank you , no note required. For showers, guests thank the shower host directly, the bride always in writing and sometimes with a small gift. But traditionally, you do not thank people for attending your ceremony, reception meal or party, with a thank you as though they did something you need thank them for. That is backward, guests thank host. What you do in person is say, we are so happy you came, or our celebration would not be the same without you, ir other happiness they are present. But you are not thanking them for doing something. No note that says thank you. Some people say, never hurts to send a thank you, even if you did mot het a gift. But lots of times, knowing you owe them no thanks, people interpret that as a passive aggressive calling attention to the fact that they gave no gift. Like you are hoping they will feel guilty, and pony up and get a gift still. The proper thing to do is first, promptly take care of all thank you notes. Afterwards, you may start the first real correspondence of your married life. Write any heartfelt letters you want. Not to say thanks for a gift MIT given. But to say how much it meant to you to have them with you one such an important day, whatever. And include something newsy, how your honeymoon went, or how you are settling in to married life, or future plans. And include a marriage announcement card that says the correct way you wish to be addressed, title and name, address after marriage, phone or email. Even if you are using same name,. It is a signal that you still want to have a relationship , and you are making it easy for them to contact you. Because genuine friendships are a reciprocal thing, each makes overtures or invitations to the other. THIS is never on a thank you card, but sayisfies any genuine wish you have to share feelings with someone who cares enough about you to make a special effort to be with you. Not a specific act to be thanked for, you were the one who treated them to a meal and party. But continued appreciation of their presence in your life. That is always a good thing. And sent after thank you are done, not on thank you cards, makes that clear. Never mistaken as " thank you for nothing" as a thank you when no gift given. . Incidentally, as any bride who has pulled teeth trying yo get addresses, then figure out correct titles and names for invitations, knows all to well: It is a shame when people skip sending these announcement cards to all, after a wedding, including people never invited because of distance or size of wedding, but whom you still want to keep in contact with in the future. This keeps others ' address books up to date, and says, we hope to hear from you in the future.

If they bring you a gift then send a thank you but if they come uninvited and without a gift then don't send a thank you.