Thank you cards

For the couples with only one person, we wrote something like "Thank you both for the xxx, we missed seeing John at the wedding. Hope we can all get together soon!"
As for people who didnt bring gifts, it's not necessary to send them a card. Some people see it more of a passive aggressive thing to do so.

I think I would try to highlight the person that was there rather than the person that wasnt there, if that makes sense. Something like:

"Thank you both for the beautiful tea pot! Its perfect for us....

Jane, we so enjoyed seeing you at our [thing]. We look forward to seeing you both in the future to celebrate even more!"

View Quoted Comment I agree with Chandra !

Dont' send a thank you if they didn't give a gift. Just thank whoever signed the card/gift (i.e. both or all people who are listed) and mention how nice it was to see XX person at the wedding.

I only wrote thank you cards to gift givers.


Where only one member of a couple attended , I addressed to both and thanked them for the gift. Then had a line to each— M, we had such a great time celebrating with you (even though we were missing you C !) type thing

You thank people in your note for the gift they gave, or something special they went out of their way to do. So thank both of them for the gift. . . . Standard etiquette is that guests thank hosts for the dinner, party, reception, overnight at their home, and such. For smaller things, bringing a small hostess gift, with a note or best wishes, is enough. For bigger things, like borrowing a cabin for a week, definitely a small gift and a thank you note after. At weddings, because it is customary for everyone to bring a major gift, or contribute to one, there is no need for the guest to also write a thank you not to those hosting the wedding. But, those who for whatever reason do not bring a gift, a dually owe a thank you note to the couple ( or parents who hosted) for inviting them to their very special occasion, great food and drink in a wonderful setting, or whatever made it a good time. . . . The hosts never owe a thank you note to people for coming, eating their food, dancing or socializing. That is backwards. Guests thank hosts, for the occasion , hosts do not thank guests. This is a common misunderstanding. You can always say, after thanking people for the gift, " we were so happy to see Jason at the wedding, and hope to see both of you this summer". But you do not write a thank you just for coming. After all thank you notes are written, not on thank you notes, not thank you style, you can always write a note as a letter, and talk about seeing them at the wedding, and future plans .

Write a thank you card to everyone who gave a gift. Address it to all those who the gift is from (regardless of whether or not they attended). You do not need to write a thank you card to people who didn’t give a gift.

I just did thank you cards for my bridal shower. Basically, whoever signed the card that came with the gift was being addressed in the thank you card, even though the husbands didn't come to the bridal shower. I'm only planning on writing thank you cards for people who bring gifts. I will be thanking the guests for coming during the receiving line, so no need to follow up with a thank you card if they didn't bring a gift. They will have already been thanked for coming.