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Michelle
Super October 2020

Thank you cards for those who couldn’t come due to covid

Michelle, on November 25, 2020 at 3:45 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 17

Is anyone else writing thank you cards for those that couldn’t come whether it’s due to being sick, being exposed, unable to travel, being high risk and cautious? I don’t know what to say but I want them to know I am thinking of them.
“Name,
We missed you at the wedding. We know that if it weren’t for Covid-19, plans would’ve been different. We just wanted to thank you for showing us support and know you were rooting for us from afar which means a lot to us.”

17 Comments

Latest activity by Yasmine, on November 26, 2020 at 7:01 AM
  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I think that’s super sweet! I’d feel terrible if I couldn’t make it & the happy couple took the time to drop me a note!
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  • Samantha
    Expert October 2021
    Samantha ·
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    You could send wedding announcements with personalized messages. A thank you card is generally associated with a gift.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I don't plan on to unless they sent me a gift.
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  • Kristen
    Beginner October 2020
    Kristen ·
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    We are not unless they sent us a card or gift. I do think it's a very nice gesture, though!

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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I agree with this. Announcements are customary for those who weren't invited but a thank note is not sent unless a gift was given.
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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    I just wanted to show them I was still thinking of them I guess. I guess if it’s weird maybe I shouldn’t.
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  • Kimberly
    Expert October 2020
    Kimberly ·
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    If they sent a gift or card regardless if they attended or not we sent them a thank you card.
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    I wouldn’t send a thank-you card if they didn’t send a gift.
    If they gave a gift whether they attended the Event or not, even if they weren’t even invited due to reduced guest list, a thank-you card should be sent.
    To send a thank-you when no gift was sent can be seen as passive aggressive, like hey we got married you should have sent a gift! And can guilt people into gifting. If that makes sense.
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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    I see that side. I asked for my friends new address cuz she moved lol. I think maybe I’ll buy a Christmas card and send it to her instead lmao. So she isn’t wondering why I’m asking for her new address.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    A general letter at any time is appropriate. But make it newsy, about things you have been doing, they are doing, a little about the wedding but mostly not. Expecting that other people will have been terribly distressed to have missed your wedding last week or month is rather presumptuous. For all you know it may have been a relief. Or they may have quietly done something they preferred. If they were sorry to miss it they can tell you. But any letter you send should be about what is current. The wedding, the aspect of who came and who didn't, is over. . General etiquette, you do not write anyone about thank you for coming, as that is backwards. Guest thank hosts for providing the lovely party. In weddings, having given you a large gift and card or note gets guests off the hook for a post event thank you note. Any thank you notes you write should be strictly for a gift, or a special service, you received. Then, later, general letters.



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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Would it be okay to send a holiday card if it’s a photo of us getting married? Maybe I should find a regular photo? I don’t have any other nice photos of us recently other than just getting married. Now I feel I have to send a holiday card instead lmao.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    I would send a holiday card with a wedding photo. I agree a thank you card when no gift was sent can come across the wrong way


    Or you could send a wedding announcement/thinking of you type of card
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Send any engagement or wedding pictures you want, on your card, or in it. send a bunch. People like to keep these in albums, see the details they missed live, or missed completely. And generally keep up with your milestones. But aside from maybe a funny story, don't discuss that people missed your party.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    What are thanking them for? Guests who do attend don’t even get thank you cards just for showing up.
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    I think it’s a thoughtful idea and a sweet message. If our guests mean enough that we invited them, then I think it’s wonderful to send a message letting them know they were missed and thought of on your wedding day. You don’t need to receive a gift in order to be thoughtful. If preferred, you can write inside of a blank notecard vs. a “thank you” card. But either way, I say go for it! It will brighten their day in these dark times.
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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    No, generally thank you cards are for gifts only.

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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    That's sweet
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