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Savvy October 2021

Thank-you Card Etiquette

Emily, on September 8, 2022 at 12:17 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
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My husband and I got married in October 2021, and for various reasons (*ahem* excuses) we still have not mailed out thank-you cards to guests/gift-givers 😩 we’ve had them bought for a very long time now, but none have been written except for a few. Cue the excuses and need for validation, lmao…: I think with the holidays a few months later, then us taking our honeymoon January 2022, then me with my medical problems flaring up here and there (MS, depression, etc), plus working 40+-hour weeks that exhaust me, financial troubles later on, and the fact my husband doesn’t feel comfortable writing them because of his bad penmanship and that he doesn’t know what to write (like I do either?), they still all have not been written. The few I wrote were difficult because my hand stiffens and hurts after writing just a few and I have to stop for awhile.


My question is, is it going to look absolutely strange/ungrateful/etc. if we still send out thank-you cards even 11 months later? I really would like to express thanks to those that went to the wedding, and to those that got us gifts. But I’m not sure if it is just going to bring a ton of negative attention to the matter. We actually went to two other weddings that month (one of them we were both in the wedding party), gave gifts, and neither of those couples have sent out thank-you cards either, to my knowledge, and we aren’t holding it against them either.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Thomas, on September 9, 2022 at 6:08 PM
  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Usually the saying for this situation is better late than never. I'd still send them. I hope things are better for you now.

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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I agree with Jacks. I would still send them out now, even though they're late.
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  • Lisa
    Legend July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I agree with both of the above comments. I would still send them out.
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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    Go ahead and send them (believe me, people remember when they don't receive a thank you note at all). Your spouse can write the ones for his side, bad penmanship and all.

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  • Shannon
    Super July 2022
    Shannon ·
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    Agree with Becky. Guests will remember if you don’t send thank you notes. Our wedding was in July and I’ve sent ours out. It was tedious writing each card, but Worth it. I even received texts thanking me for the thank yous.
    I write something like this. “Thank you for celebrating with us. You helped in making our wedding the best day of our lives. Thank you for the generous gift. We’ll use it towards our honeymoon in Aruba.”
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    No. A late thank you is always better than no thank you. For what it’s worth, we attended a wedding a couple months before yours— July 2021 and we just received a thank you card probably around the time of their anniversary— July 2022. We’d vacationed with them since the wedding so I know they had down time! Smiley winking . I thought it was weird when we hadn’t received anything, and when we finally did, I thought “oh cool, great” and nothing more. So send those cards! Don’t worry about excuses. And Make sure your spouse helps write them!
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    And with that said, you should know I DO remember the gift we sent to a couple in 2017 that we never received a thank you for ! 😂
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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    Definitely better late than never! I'm sure people will still appreciate receiving the cards Smiley smile

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  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Maybe you can get a volunteer to write out the thank-yous with you. That seems reasonable in light of the various difficulties. The thank-yous are important in part to know that you got the gift (or they attended). Some people may not care but others will want the acknowledgement since the gifting is a bit of extra work.

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  • Ashlee
    Super September 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    My hand also cramps when writing too much, so what I did with my bridal shower ones (i had around 50 to write), is I took them with me to work for a week or two after. When I had downtime at work, I'd write a couple. Then I'd take a break. It gave my hand time to recoup and I was able to get them all done fairly quick afterwards.

    Now in terms of how late you're sending them, I know a lot of people would prefer one later than never (my sister never sent any and she still has people talking about it almost two years later). I also think this depends on the people (like my sister wouldn't care if i never sent her one, but my grandma would resent not getting one), so if you know who would prefer one, prioritize those.

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  • Thomas
    Dedicated May 2023
    Thomas ·
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    Never is always the worst date. Late is always better. You could change the wording to thank them and insert that it’s one year since. Plug that first anniversary in there as cover.
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