Thank you card disagreement

Yeah, I don't think there's any reason that you need to match their word count. I mean, if he wants to write a novel, let him go for it.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!
The problem with letting him ‘go for it’ is he was saying things I considered inappropriate for a thank you card. Also his spelling is atrocious so I have to be nearby to play dictionary or whatever. So I’m still stuck being part of the ridiculousness.

"Dear so and so, thank you so much for your generous gift! We are so sorry you are unable to make it to the wedding, and your presence will be missed. We hope to see you again soon."

That's really all you need.

I would wrote something like:

Dear so and so,

Thank you so much for the beautiful card and thoughtful gift! We are so appreciative. We will miss seeing you at our wedding. Thank you for thinking of us during this special time!

View Quoted Comment Totally this. Mention the gift and seeing them/not seeing them at the wedding. Those two things (just a few sentences) are plenty.

Thanks ladies. He’s sticking to his guns about it. So we’ll see how he feels about it after writing ten (or whatever) in a day after the wedding!

I don't think you need to write two paragraphs. A few lines is fine.

God love him! I think this is definitely a "pick your battles," issue and if he wants to write a lengthy thank-you note, I can't imagine anyone who receives it is going to think, "Well, that was really inappropriate!" We have a relative who is very "spelling challenged," and have come to expect that notes from her will include some creative spelling/grammar, but her message is always heartfelt and very much appreciated. My guess is once there are lots of thank-yous to write, he'll see the value in brevity, but for now, I'd just appreciate that he's willing to do the writing. Lots of brides can't get their spouse to join on that task at all. Good luck!

Four sentences is less abrupt than three. Mention something specific about what you might do with their gift. You do not have to match their outpouring of prose.

View Quoted Comment The spelling challenged I feel compelled to help with because I feel like the card reflects on both of us. It can be absurdly too long but at least it’ll have proper grammar and spelling. Proper spelling & grammar are particularly important to me because I feel like it really reflects on the person writing. (WW typos notwithstanding!)

View Quoted Comment 100% agree.

View Quoted Comment It is nice now and then to write a news letter. For these people, whom he will not see at the wedding, let him. It is a self correcting behavior. When he gets tired, they will mostly be brief. A d the few where he really has more to say, let him. The wedding is not the end of things. It is the beginning of your married social life and correspondence. If people know early on that he responds nicelyY, they will direct things to him, from questions and requests, to correspondence. So many people count on the wife to do it all, as though the male is unable to look something up, check a calendar, return an RSVP, or write a thank you note. You have a man stepping up here. Do not discourage him!

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I completely understand.... I'm a college professor in a Humanities field for my profession, and I thoroughly enjoy my reputation among students for being demanding with regard to their adherence to writing conventions. But, sometimes, with those we love, I think we walk a fine line. Hopefully, it's in his very recognizable handwriting! (WW posters' confusion regarding an "aisle" vs. and an "isle" is VERY hard for me, but I tell myself, it's the spirit with which the content was written.... )

View Quoted Comment I’m not discouraging him, just shaking my head. I think the novelty will wear off when they start to stack up.

View Quoted Comment Aisle vs isle drives me batty!
It is quite obviously, to me anyway, a man’s sloppy handwriting. But my handwriting is terrible too so who am I to talk?

We didn't send thank you cards to people that sent just cards (with no gift or money). I don't think it's bad to send one, it's a nice gesture. But we didn't do it.

View Quoted Comment The card in question came with a small check.

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Oh, then the thank you card makes sense! I agree though, I don't think word count has to match but if he typed a long one it's very nice and I'm sure they will appreciate it!