"Thank you" card and gifts questions

Typically gifts are given to the flower girl and ring bearer before the wedding when the rest of the wedding party is given their thank you gifts. If the parents paid for their attire, you could thank them for their participation. As for your parents, I personally wouldn't give my parents Christmas gifts that were all about my wedding that was almost four months prior.

Like Caytlyn said, Flower Girls & Ringbearers typically get gifts the same time as the bridal party before the wedding. You could definitely still give them a thank you gift now if you wanted to, but it may look like an after thought (but would be better than nothing!). I think it's fine to add the handkerchief for Christmas. I know a lot of people give wedding type gifts to parents their first year of marriage.

I think it may be slightly awkward to give a physical gift after the wedding to them, as pp said it’s typically day of. A think sending a thank you note isn’t a bad idea though! Perhaps address it directly to the children, and something along the lines of “thank you so much for being a special part of our big day!” If parents were regular guests sending them a separate thank you card however you normally would.

I gave my flower girl her gift the day of and it included a thank you for being the flower girl. Her parents didn't actually give us a gift for the wedding so I am only sending thank yous to those who gave a gift. The bridal party was technically already thanked with a gift on the wedding day as well. I would give the handkerchiefs and photo albums together as a post-wedding gift to parents, not a christmas gift. I would send a thank you note to your flower girl but idk about a physical gift as Lauren says it kind of looks like an afterthought.

Edit: a cute gift for the flower girl that won't seem like an afterthought is a framed picture of you two from the wedding day

Given that the number of small children who read etiquette books and columns, and will feel slighted that they get a thank you somewhat later than other WP, is probably zero, I think that sending a thank you now , a card and a small gift, is fine. Most children love to get mail at any time, and packages too. The only way they would know they "should have" received their thanks no later than a month after the wedding , is if some mean spirited adult tells them. And if some killjoy does, I hope someone else makes it a teaching moment. We all get overwhelmed with lots to do sometimes. And the best and most graceful thing to do is keep working on things til they are done. Better to be later than expected to send a thank you, or a gift, than to let it go and not do it at all. Which lots of people do these days. . . . Not everyone has a rehearsal or a RD, or gives out thank you gifts before the wedding. And the friends or family whose children were your fg and rb probably love to hear how adorable they are, and how much you appreciate the parents seeing to their clothes and getting the kids ready. Mother of 5 here, I will take a kind word whenever it comes my way, with no thought to when it 'shoulda been' done .