J
Savvy December 2021

Tension

Jenna, on August 21, 2020 at 2:54 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14
Saved Save
Reply

My fiance's step-sister and I have known each other since we were five years old and have pretty much been best friends ever since. She is my maid of honor and she couldn't be more excited. I was going to ask my fiance's twin sister to be a bridesmaid, but he wanted her on his side so she is going to be one of two groomswomen in our wedding and his brother is best man. My future mother-in-law doesn't agree with this decision at all. She seems to think his sister should be my maid of honor rather than his step-sister even though her and I are best friends. My fiance is the one that decided to make his sister a groomswoman, but he also knew she was never going to be my maid of honor because it was between his step-sister/my best friend and my sister. However, because of his mom's comments he seems to be second guessing the bridal party. He hasn't come out and said that his sister really should be my maid of honor, but I can tell his mom's opinion is really weighing heavily on his mind. I'm not sure how to handle this because there is tension now between my fiance, his mom and I. His sister is so laid back that it doesn't phase her at all that she isn't my maid of honor or his best woman.

14 Comments

Latest activity by MIWM, on August 22, 2020 at 3:36 PM
  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    You and only you get to pick your bridal party. I have no qualms with telling people when they are overstepping their boundaries and this is one of those cases.
    • Reply
  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
    • Flag

    It's not up to your MIL to pick who your MOH is... You chose the person you felt closest to, and that's what matters. & if anything, you should pick YOUR sister over his... that's absolutely ridiculous that she thinks your SIL needs to be your MOH. Especially if his sister doesn't care, and is already apart of the wedding, you don't have anything to worry about.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Yeah agreed with everyone here, it’s not up to her. And besides it’s not like she’s gonna be left out - she could totally get ready with you guys and go shopping with you guys still
    • Reply
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    You and fiance make the decision of who stands up on your sides. No one else's opinions matter. Set boundaries now and stick to them because they will continue down the road and be more intense.
    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    Your FMIL doesn't get a say in who is in your wedding party. I think you should stand your ground and not let her decide. I agree with Melle she can still do things with you even if she is standing by her brother's side.

    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    You need to make sure FH understands that if it wasn’t your best friend as your MOH it would have been your own sister. If he is now second guessing and saying that he agrees with your mom then he doesn’t understand that she would never have been your MOH and you will not be guilted into it now. You deserve to choose who is your MOH and the fact that she is your FH’s step sister has no real value in the decision.
    • Reply
  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry. I would stand your ground!

    • Reply
  • VIP August 2020
    ·
    • Flag

    Your future mother-in-law should not be involved in this decision at all, and there's absolutely no reason to make your, at best, fourth closest (non-fiancé) person your maid of honor. You should keep your bridal party the way you want it. If your fiancé really can't handle the pressure from his mother and decides to pass his twin over to your side, she should be a bridesmaid and not the maid of honor.

    • Reply
  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
    • Flag

    I'm pretty sure you choose your MOH/bridesmaid and he chooses his best man/groomsmen. If you two allow your mother-in-law to cause tension between something you already have decided on then you are in for a long marriage. No argument is needed. Thank her for her suggestion and very firmly but respectfully decline the offer.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    It's not your FMIL'S decision. It should be based on the woman who is closest to you.
    • Reply
  • Alisa
    Devoted August 2020
    Alisa ·
    • Flag

    You both need to let future Mil know that your decision is made.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2021
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    With this logic your Sister should take the Best Man's position. Present your FH with this and maybe he will realize that the idea is illogical.
    • Reply
  • Crystal
    Devoted October 2020
    Crystal ·
    • Flag
    This fmil has obviously other issues. Like a previous poster, by that logic your sibling should be his best man.


    I bet if your best friend wasn’t his step sister it wouldn’t be an issue. As for your fh being swayed, be firm in your choice. If he starts going down the rabbit whole of “but it’s my step sister” remind him that she’s your best friend. My guess is she was your best friend first.
    • Reply
  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
    • Flag

    It's non of anyone's business who you choose to be your main of honor

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics