Tension

You and only you get to pick your bridal party. I have no qualms with telling people when they are overstepping their boundaries and this is one of those cases.

It's not up to your MIL to pick who your MOH is... You chose the person you felt closest to, and that's what matters. & if anything, you should pick YOUR sister over his... that's absolutely ridiculous that she thinks your SIL needs to be your MOH. Especially if his sister doesn't care, and is already apart of the wedding, you don't have anything to worry about.

Yeah agreed with everyone here, it’s not up to her. And besides it’s not like she’s gonna be left out - she could totally get ready with you guys and go shopping with you guys still

You and fiance make the decision of who stands up on your sides. No one else's opinions matter. Set boundaries now and stick to them because they will continue down the road and be more intense.

Your FMIL doesn't get a say in who is in your wedding party. I think you should stand your ground and not let her decide. I agree with Melle she can still do things with you even if she is standing by her brother's side.

You need to make sure FH understands that if it wasn’t your best friend as your MOH it would have been your own sister. If he is now second guessing and saying that he agrees with your mom then he doesn’t understand that she would never have been your MOH and you will not be guilted into it now. You deserve to choose who is your MOH and the fact that she is your FH’s step sister has no real value in the decision.

I'm sorry. I would stand your ground!

Your future mother-in-law should not be involved in this decision at all, and there's absolutely no reason to make your, at best, fourth closest (non-fiancé) person your maid of honor. You should keep your bridal party the way you want it. If your fiancé really can't handle the pressure from his mother and decides to pass his twin over to your side, she should be a bridesmaid and not the maid of honor.

I'm pretty sure you choose your MOH/bridesmaid and he chooses his best man/groomsmen. If you two allow your mother-in-law to cause tension between something you already have decided on then you are in for a long marriage. No argument is needed. Thank her for her suggestion and very firmly but respectfully decline the offer.

It's not your FMIL'S decision. It should be based on the woman who is closest to you.

You both need to let future Mil know that your decision is made.

With this logic your Sister should take the Best Man's position. Present your FH with this and maybe he will realize that the idea is illogical.

This fmil has obviously other issues. Like a previous poster, by that logic your sibling should be his best man.


I bet if your best friend wasn’t his step sister it wouldn’t be an issue. As for your fh being swayed, be firm in your choice. If he starts going down the rabbit whole of “but it’s my step sister” remind him that she’s your best friend. My guess is she was your best friend first.

It's non of anyone's business who you choose to be your main of honor