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Gabrielle
Just Said Yes September 2023

Tension between families

Gabrielle, on September 10, 2020 at 11:26 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6
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I'm having trouble trying to figure out a way to arrange my wedding with the least amount of tension possible. For context, my mom had an affair about eight years ago and my parents divorced. She is married to that man now and he and his family have pretty much watched me grow up (I was in middle school when I met them). We have successfully avoided having my dad, who I am very close to, and my step dad and his family all in the same place at the same time. Obviously, I can't have two weddings for different sides of my family. I know they all love me and I want them all to be there, but I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable or cause drama. Does anyone have any advice on how to have the least tension possible between my dad and my step family at my wedding?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Margaret, on September 11, 2020 at 9:47 AM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Definitely seat them all at separate tables that’s for sure
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  • Karissa
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Karissa ·
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    If they love you they will all put their differences aside for your big day!!
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  • Marabeth
    Devoted September 2020
    Marabeth ·
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    I’d seat them as separate as possible at the ceremony and seat them at different tables at the reception. But as Karissa said, if they love you, they will put aside their differences and support you on your day.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I'm not necessarily recommending you to do this but.... My dad had an affair 8 years ago and currently lives with the other woman. He and my mom absolutely dislike eachother abd avoid eachother at all costs. Due to the awkwardness and tension, and several other reasons; my FH and I have decided to elope.
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    Ask one of your BP to be a point person on them. Make sure it's someone who is really good at conflict resolution, but also isn't afraid to bodily remove people from situations.

    Keep them at separate tables.

    If they can't all be grown ups for a day, you'll have a lot more information about which relationships are supportive of you.

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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    As previous posts have noted, I'd keep them at separate tables but in addition I'd sit both sets of parents down (separately) and let them know how much you love them and you hope despite everything that had occurred you hope that they can be civil and just happy for you and your FH on this very special occasion. You're not asking them to associate with one another directly but if they could at least be civil you would greatly appreciate it.

    It's always best to just be open and honest. Sometimes it's hard, but it always pays off.

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