Telling your parents (and close family) you're engaged

If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to buck up and tell your families that you're engaged.

LG - took the words right out of my mouth.

Also, you don't need a ring or a "cutesy story" to be engaged.

My FH asked my parent's "permission", so I didn't have to tell my immediate family, they all knew. I called the rest of my family (they live out of state).

If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to share this news with them.

Our situation was a little different I guess. We purchased the ring together and I was too excited to wait to show everyone. H even called my Dad on the way home from the jewelry store. We got "officially" engaged about a month later but we didn't think it needed a formal announcement since everyone knew already. We just posted it on Facebook. HaHa!

What LG said.

You don't have to have a cute story or a ring either.

"Hey parents, we decided that we're getting married!" Done.

We told our parents when we decided to get married. We only held off on telling our friends and extended family until he actually proposed and I had a ring.

If you are already bringing up the age thing, maybe you're too young to be thinking about marriage. And in that sense, if you don't have the balls enough or are too scared to tell your family, your probably ahouldn't be getting engaged. One of those here's your sign moments.

Same as you Shauna- we told my parents when we were ready. He asked them for my hand in marriage (his choice; my parents didn't think it was necessary). And told most everyone else once I received my ring. I picked it out months before and there was no "cutesy" proposal. We had the sweetest and most intimate conversations and he gave me the ring. We've also been together for almost 5 years. So I say this to say things are how and what you and your fiancée feel comfortable with.

FH showed me his family ring in November and said he wanted to propose with it but wanted to make sure I liked it. Of course I loved it. We had the ring resized in December and since the wedding is in my hometown we toured venues during our holiday vacation. FH really wanted to formally propose with the ring. Some men grow up with these fantasies too. He did in February and we called family members to tell them it had happened.

However, both our close families were involved through the whole process. It just felt natural. His grandma offered the ring. His parents took us to the jeweler they've trusted for years to resize the ring. Hugs and lunch afterwards. And I kept my parents in the loop over the phone and we discussed venues when I was at home. It was a joyous process.

I'm sorry you're anxious about telling your parents. Maybe you're underestimating them and they'll be happy for you. You know them best though. But if you can't talk to them about how a ring is in the works, then I assume you aren't willing to talk about them about other things in your life. If you do have a great relationship with your family and you're just hiding this one detail.. that's strange. How to tell them? Just tell them. If they love your fh they'll probably be happy, if not than you keep on doing you like the adult you are.

I guess I didn't touch on my initial concern.

Yes, I am old enough to be getting married. I'm 26. (Silly I even have to mention that...)

We are ready to get married and have been discussing it since a month in.

What I failed to mention, and it seems this may be relevant -- we have been together less than a year. Hence the concern with what my family will think (they are extremely important to me, hence why their opinions matter).

Every relationship is different, and we knew within the first week of knowing each other that this was it. I knew within the first 24 hours. I am not certain my parents will support that, though.

I guess I just want the perfect everything since our relationship is perfect.

"Hi Mom and Dad, We have some exciting news. John and I are engaged. " How hard was that?

If you're an adult you are allowed to do what you want. You should be able to tell them, but if your thought process is because you don't have a ring so your parents wont think it's valid, then tell them you're engaged and getting a ring soon.

We were together 6 months when we got engaged. You just tell them. Perfect isn't a reasonable expectation, life isn't perfect.

I get the hesitation to share this news with your parents. My situation is a little different that yours (not an age but a who I am marrying issue) but you need to tell them when it is comfortable for you. Please do tell them though and be confident in the love you and your FS share. You said they already love him so all will be ok. Go for it and Congratulations!

I personally couldn't marry someone that I haven't known for more than a couple of years but a lot of people do and it works out fine. Be confident in your decision. If you're not, then they definitely won't be. Like @Nikki said, just rip the bandaid off and know that you'll get some backlash. Neither of my parents were thrilled about H and I getting married due to our 10 year age gap but we really didn't care. After a while, they had no choice but to suck it up and deal. We're married now, pushing a year and a half. My dad makes comments about H needing to "take care of his household" (whatever the fuck that means) but outside of that, our families respect our marriage.

If they're going to be concerned about the length of your relationship (which is a valid concern) then I don't really see how a cutesy proposal story is going to change their opinion. Just tell them- you're going to have to face their reaction either way.

My H and I got engaged 29 days after we met. We didn't hesitate to tell our families and of course there was some concern (can't blame them, lol). Sometimes when you know, you know. We've been married for 24 years now. Just tell them, they may surprise you with their support!

First, congrats! Marriage is a huge step. I knew 6 months in that I wanted to marry my DH too (and so did he). We still didn't get engaged for over a year after that, but there's no set time for a mature relationship.

Second, there is no such thing as perfect, so if perfect is what you're expecting forever, you will be disappointed. Your family will react with or without a cute story. The fact that you're worried about telling them something fancy vs bring excited about marrying someone you love makes me question your "our relationship is perfect" even more. Hopefully you're considering premarital counseling so you can have realistic expectations for a life-long commitment...

Don't worry about it. Someone talked about confidence which is a good point. I moved to a different state to be with my ex on a fairly quick timeline. My family was skeptical but I was a grown woman and did what I thought was right. It didn't work out and the whole thing ended badly BUT before that happened my family accepted my decision. They treated my ex well and if things had turned out differently our families would probably have been closer. Maybe that's not the best example but parental disapproval isn't terrible when you're a grownup. From what you've said it doesn't sound like your parents are bigots or have really strong convictions that oppose yours. So call them up: "Mom dad! This is so exciting! FH and I are engaged!" They'll congratulate you.

My parents, brother, closest friends all knew before FH proposed.. I think that you should not hide your engagement from those closest to you. I think hiding it means you shouldn't be engaged. You don't need a ring or a story to be engaged.