Telling a parent not to attend your wedding

Whoa I'm sorry that he said that too you. Why she is rude to only you makes no sense, other than she has a problem.

Sounds a lot like my sister. We're on the fence about inviting her. You have to do what's best for YOU. Don't listen to what other people want. If having him there would make your day unpleasant, I vote no.

That really sucks.

My dad isn't invited to my wedding either - I've made several attempts to mend the relationship and he "will do better" but it never sticks. If you think he will make your day miserable - don't invite him. I'm sorry you're going through this, but just know you aren't alone!

It's always hard when it comes to parents but do what is best for YOU!

My father told me that he will not be attending my wedding after I told him I don't want him to walk me down the aisle. Long story short we have never in my 27 yrs had a great relationship and he has made no real effort to be a positive influence in my life or even try to get to know FH. And your dad and his new girlfriend or whatever he considers her sounds alot like my step mother. SO I don't blame you.

Hopefully he will come around and change before your weeding, and if not then your day will still be beautiful and filled with love!

You don't need to explain your decision to anyone. However, not inviting your dad to your wedding will have a lasting effect on your relationship with him and his now wife likely. I'm not saying there is a right or wrong because what he said was hurtful but it's a choice only you can make and I think a lot of it comes down to what relationship you'd like to have with them and what's best for you

Wow, I'm sorry. I think this is one of those things that can go unsaid, if you choose not to send them an invite.

The best way to tell him not to come is to simply not invite him.

You are not obligated to have your father there. It is very easy for people on the outside to tell you you're overreacting without understanding the pain you went through. When they tell you you're being too harsh, just tell them exactly what @Richard suggested and then stop discussing it with others.

Not inviting your father and his wife may be relationship ending, so tread carefully if you do wish to continue your relationship. If you do decide to try and speak with your father (or he attempts to make it up to you) make it clear to him that the way his wife treats you and his response to your concerns was horrible and completely inappropriate and you are in the right to cut him off completely - because you absolutely, 100% are. You can't move on from this in a healthy way unless he acknowledges the betrayal that has taken place and changes his behavior.

I'm so sorry you're going through this! My father and I are not on any terms. His gf doesn't like me, very similar to your situation. I've debated on whether or not to invite him and I don't think if I invite him I want him walking me down the aisle.

Things can change. But you have to do what makes you happy. And if people ask, I would repeat what Richard said.

DH and I recently made the decision to cut my father & his new fiance out of our lives after the fiance told me I wasn't welcome at Thanksgiving with the rest of my family & my dad called me a stupid fucking bitch for telling him I disagreed with her decision. It has done & will continue to do wonders for our mental health & stress levels. If someone asks, you can decide how much you want to reveal. Around Christmas when acquaintances asked if we were going to see my dad's family (just in general chit-chat, not knowing there was an issue) I said something like "No, we don't keep in contact with Steve & Michelle" and that was that. You are 100% not obligated to have a toxic family member there, but make sure you are ready to officially end the relationship because mending it after not inviting him to your wedding may be difficult if you change your mind.

I agree with everyone's statements. Im Ina bit of the same problem, except it's step sisters, my dad and his wife, who has hated me since I met her 20+ years ago and today we don't talk because he has chosen her over me, even moved the family away from me atone point. It's been 5 yrs since I've even heard from him. But every time we have actually spoken, 1-2x a year, it turns out to be stressful on me and I don't want to deal with that. I have heart problems. And because my fiance says he will have anyone escorted out that causes me problems on that day. I don't want any drama. But so uncertain. Being an islander you are supposed to honor your parents regardless. But I will also have my bio mother flown in, and his wife had never met her, doesn't like her. My dilema I never thought I'd have.

Wish I could say this to my FMIL.

Can't stand her. I know she will try to sabotage our wedding.

A friend of mine had to specifically disinvite his estranged father from his wedding. (As in, call him up and say "You are not invited, do not come," because he was planning to crash the wedding evidently.)

It sucks not to have a parent there when it is expected, but no one should be telling you that you're being too harsh. You do what's best for you here.