Teenagers

If they are under 18 and still in high school, then I think you'd send the invitation to their parents. "Mr. and Mrs. So and So and Family." That would most likely eliminate a 15 year old brining a flavor of the month... and the parents of the teenager that has a girlfriend I think would ask you directly if their son can bring the girlfriend.

I think it's really thoughtful of you to consider this, but I'd say you have to consider teens' guests on a case-by-case basis. This is not a situation where you could easily do an all-or-nothing answer.

I'm drawing the line at inviting boyfriends and girlfriends with whether or not the guest is actually an adult (18+) and is supposed to get his or her own invitation.

Jacqui, that's what I was leaning towards. I'm only in my early twenties myself, and based on how annoying it is for people to tell me I'm too young to get married, I think I have no right to tell my cousin for instance that her relationship is lesser than someone else's. I know people say picking and choosing a plus one for only some people is unacceptable, but do you think it would be appropriate to "pick and choose" here? I can think of maybe 3 people that I would want to do this for (all 16 or 17) out of a totally of 7 or 8 teenagers invited.

VJGaff, that's a great idea.

I have a lot of cousins in the 16-20 age. I only let two of them bring plus ones because they have been in long term relationships and I know there significant others.

Erica, in this instance I think yes it would be acceptable to pick and choose.

I wouldn't send a 17 year old his or her own invite, there s/he wouldn't automatically be allowed a plus one. If you're coming with your parents, you're coming with your parents. I would consider it on a case-by-case basis like PPs suggested.

We had two teenagers who were specifically invited, without their families, and got their own invitation. It was a weird situation, they're my sister's close friends for over a decade, and they both helped with the wedding - things like addressing invitations, stuff like that. So they were invited without a plus one. *Technically* they were my sister's "plus-2's." Except you can't dictate who the plus-one is so I just sent them their own invite.

Obviously, the two teenagers were not given a plus one.

When I was 19 my cousin got married and invited my (now) fiancé. It meant a lot to me that she took us seriously! She gave the same courtesy to another of our teenage cousins who had a serious girlfriend, none of the other teens/young adults had plus ones, and no one seemed to mind.

That being said, I think it should be a case by case basis. Have you met their SO? How serious are they? Ect.

I was 18 almost 19 when my cousin got married, I was invited with my parents and sister, and my now fiancé was not invited since I wasn't given a plus one.. we had been together for a solid 2 years at the time so he very clearly was not just my flavor of the month. I was annoyed to say the least lol. I personally think anyone 18 or older (or in your case 16 or 17) should be given a plus one IF you know they're in a serious relationship. I wouldn't want teenage relatives bringing random guests either so I would just keep it to if you're in a relationship, you get a plus one, if not, no plus one.

DH cousin was 16 and had a "serious" bf she wanted to bring, but we said no. She was upset but they ended up breaking up. We were happy with our decision. We didn't want to pay for a random kid that we barely knew. I would just send an invitation to the family of the teenager. Don't give a plus one.

Thanks everyone. I'm glad you're all kind of on the same page. I think I'll end up just inviting my cousin's boyfriend who's been around for a few years.