Taking Back an RSVP??

We now have 28 (plus 4 have plus ones) so a total of 24 people on our list. We already put our deposit for the 40 guests. I guess it just disappoints me is all. It's a huge expense and I totally understand that. We would never ever want someone to go into debt or sacrifice anything to come be there but I just don't want to spend over a thousand dollars more on a package that isn't needed. I have had our wedding planner try and talk to the resort so fingers crossed.

This may or may not have been more of a vent haha.

Maybe they did the math over and couldnt swing it... Are you paying for everyone?

Would your resort apply any extra amount you paid for the deposit towards other costs? Maybe they can give you some sort of credit if you don't end up using that package. I was originally planning a DW and when I put down the deposit, it was for their largest package and they said if I needed to go down to a less expensive package, they would apply the extra deposit towards any catering/ photography / decor costs for the wedding or reimburse me the difference.

It's 100% normal when you asked people to RSVP 9 months before. You'll get a lot more cancellations as it gets closer as well. For my venue we had to give them a "minimum" number of people, and then we could always go higher. Why do you need final numbers with a deposit? Pretty sure this isn't normal.

@FutureMrsBrbr -- that makes complete sense. My planner said something to that extent as well. I feel a lot better now.

@e=mc2 -- We just didn't want to pay per head when we go over guests ($50 per head anything over 40) So we kind of need a close number so we know what kind of package to get.

I think maybe we should stick to the 40. I would rather be under than over having to pay way more per head that what's already included. Let's just hope we get a few more people to get back up to at last 30-35. We don't need FINAL numbers -- just a good estimate

It totally sucks, but since you are having a destination wedding and nobody has had to put down actual money yet, I would say that it is normal. People realize they just can't afford it or something unexpected has come up or something along those lines. I'm sure it's not because they don't want to be there, just that they can't swing it. That was the dilemma for us and made us decide against a DW.

I'm not even kind of surprised. I wouldn't know how to RSVP for a wedding that far in advance, also don't get stuck in 'it's like a vacay for everyone' mode, most people typically like to pick the place and date of their vacations.

@Emmy -- I understand and that's why I know it's hard for everyone to make a decision. I totally understand that. I just meant it as in IF they decided they want to come most would have to book vacation time off of work that's all. I'm not upset about anyone taking back an RSVP I just didn't want to lose out on some expenses if I booked the wrong package.

If I was willing and wanting to attend a DW I would look at it as a vacation and wedding in one.

I have to request vacation time off a week before, and flights are normally cheapest 3-6 months out. If you were looking for a general number, i would have just asked word of mouth. You should at least have a good idea from immediate family that way, but just error on the side of low.