Lana
Savvy October 2022

Tacky or reasonable?

Lana, on April 13, 2021 at 10:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14
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Hello everyone!!

I was wondering if this would be a tacky or reasonable solution to a possible problem. I am not wearing the traditional white or ivory for the wedding reception. I have opted for a champagne or gold colored dress.

My mom pointed out that guests don't typically wear white or ivory because that's what the bride will be in and that a guest or 5 could show up in gold or with gold embellished clothing on.
Would politely stating on our wedding website that I've decided to wear the non-traditional color of gold and asking guests to please refrain from wearing that color to the reception be a "bridezilla" move or is it acceptable if worded similar to how I wrote it here? I don't want to look bossy or rude but I don't want to have ten other ladies in gold too. What can you guys recommend?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on April 14, 2021 at 11:50 AM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    Trust guests to dress themselves. I don't see the point behind mentioning your dress color. Gold is not that common of a color for guests.

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  • Rosie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Rosie Online ·
    • Flag

    I don't think that's too bride-zilla ey! Is your dress clearly a gown? I tend to avoid any paler colour - so no silver, no gold, no white or cream anyway so you might not need to say anything, but if it's a short dress that might conceivably be confused with someone elses' then I probably would say something on the website.

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  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I don't think you need to say anything. As another poster said, gold isn't super common. Also, no one is going to mistake someone else for the bride.
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think you should mention anything. Everyone will see you get married so no one will mistake anyone else for the bride, as a previous poster stated. And telling guests what to wear and hats not to wear (other than a general dress code) seems pretty rude in my opinion. It’s rare someone would wear something would wear something gold as it is a lighter ‘bridal’ color.
    • Reply
  • Ivory
    Dedicated August 2024
    Ivory ·
    • Flag

    While I understand your concerns and think it's great you're looking out for your guests so they don't potentially feel embarrassed, I really don't think it's necessary. It's just a color; no one would freak out if someone was dressed like the groom, so why does it matter if someone accidentally wears the same color as the bride? Everyone's going to know you're the bride regardless, and in a worst-case scenario, if a guest is embarrassed they'll apologize, and you'll tell them not to worry, that it's just a color and all you care about is they're here to celebrate with you.

    I also don't like the idea of telling guests what to wear and what to not. I wouldn't like it if my guests told me I couldn't wear a certain color because I'm the bride, so why would I want to tell my guests they can't wear what they want because they're guests?

    Everything will be fine. Have a lovely wedding!

    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    How formal is your wedding? Most people won't wear a completely golden dress to a wedding.
    • Reply
  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
    • Flag

    I don't think it's necessary to mention! Like others have said, gold isn't a common color for guests to wear, and even if they wear an outfit with a little bit of gold embellishment, it def. won't take away from the fact that you're the bride or your dress.

    • Reply
  • Bethany
    Dedicated October 2021
    Bethany ·
    • Flag

    I really don't understand the "don't wear the same color as the bride" thing. Like... don't wear a floor length white dress, sure. But I couldn't care less if someone showed up in a white (or in this case, gold) mini dress. If anyone is confused as to who the bride is, they probably shouldn't be there.

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this.

    • Reply
  • Lana
    Savvy October 2022
    Lana ·
    • Flag
    Thanks for the advice everyone!! To address a couple things that I noticed in here, I'll be in a long dress, the ceremony is destination so only a few from our immediate families will see us get married (no parents/grandparents), the reception is formal attire and everyone saying that guests don't generally wear gold makes me feel better. I had to really sit and think on this one and to clarify, I have a narcissistic mother (among others) who I'm trying to prevent from doing things to ruin our day. Broadcasting what not to wear could cause them to do just that. I also don't want anyone feeling like they can't wear what they want or being uncomfortable. I may change the color of the reception dress and just not mention it to anyone. I'm only asking for the one day to not be ruined since other things have been in the past. The ceremony is destination on purpose. This is so the ones who'd cause the most problems won't be present but can't be avoided at the reception which will be at home. My apologies if I was unclear about anything but it's probably smarter to just leave it off of the website. Thank you again, everyone!!
    • Reply
  • A
    Expert June 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I actually have a different opinion on this! I think it would be a good idea to include a quick blurb on this topic in the FAQ section of the wedding website. Personally, as a guest, I would be super embarrassed if I wore a gold/champagne dress to a wedding (not expecting the bride to wear that color) and then the bride walks down the aisle, and I can't go home and change at that point....so I actually would want a heads up to avoid that color as a guest. Maybe something like Question: Any interesting facts about the bride's or bridal party's attire? Answer: Actually, yes! The bride will be getting married in a gold dress. While gold isn't that popular of a choice for wedding guest attire, we thought we'd still mention it for anyone that may be interested! However, this would be a unique opportunity to wear that perfect white summer dress in your closet to a wedding!"

    I think this is a know your crowd thing, because my crowd would not bat an eyelash at a heads up on the FAQ section....it is very, very frowned upon to wear a white dress to a wedding so as to not match the bride....so I can totally envision a cute, non-offensive little "heads up" in the FAQ section...and I can also totally envision this being spread via word of mouth too!

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    I’ve never understood the “don’t wear white” (or in your case “don’t wear gold”) concept. What’s the real concern with it? I mean, NO guests at your wedding will outshine or take the attention away from the bride and groom.... no matter what color they’re wearing. Seriously, no one is going to accidentally walk up to them, thinking that they’re the bride. So, including such a note is unnecessary.
    • Reply
  • S
    Expert November 2021
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this actually. As a guest, I have a sparkly gold floor length dress that I like to wear for the fanciest of black tie weddings. I would be embarrassed if I showed up in my finest gold dress only to find out that the bride was also in a sparkly gold dress. OP, if your wedding is very formal or black tie, then I think it would be helpful for guests to get a heads up.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Agreed. If someone can't identify the couple getting married, they have no business being there.

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