Tacky for Cash Bar at Rehearsal dinner?

I guess this might depend on your crowd, but I've never attended a rehearsal dinner where I had to pay for my own drinks. I'd personally find it off-putting if there was a cash bar at the rehearsal dinner.

I've never been to a rehearsal dinner (or any pre-wedding event) where I've had to pay for anything. I'm sorry to say that I agree with PP and I would find it tacky. Are you able to provide wine and beer only?

Are cash bars common for rehearsal dinners in your family/friends circle? If so, I don’t think there should be a problem with it. Personally, I have never attended a rehearsal dinner where I have had to pay for alcoholic drinks. It has either been an open bar, or a dry event. How is the restaurant set up? Is the bar located in a separate area from where you will be eating? Will the event be a buffet, or will you have a wait staff serving you? If guests are ordering from a menu, and/or wait staff is serving them, I would assume guests will just start ordering drinks from their waiters/waitresses; and I’m not sure how you would keep everyone’s tab separate or to even convey to them that they will be responsible for that bill at the end of the night. If the event is a buffet, and being held in a separate room from the bar, it would probably be more manageable, as the bartender will ask guests to pay when they go up for a drink.

Oh, and amen on the “keep it informal and order pizza“ comment!! 😆 I feel like there is one poster in particular who uses that response to every question regarding rehearsal dinners

I personally think it would be tacky to have a cash bar at rehearsal. Perhaps the restaurant can work with you on a limited drink menu specifically for your rehearsal. Guests can order off of that & then if they want something different, they could pay separately.

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Honestly, I've only attended two other rehearsal dinners before, which were for my FH's brothers. For his oldest brother the Rehearsal Dinner was held in a conference room of a hotel where we had the option to go to the hotel bar and buy our own drinks if we so wished, his second brother had an open bar but was paid for by his MIL.

I asked my mom's opinion and she said she wasn't sure on the protocol so that's why I'm asking here.

Dinner would be an Italian Dinner served family style (so bowls placed on the table and every one grabs what they want) We will be in the party room so guests will have to leave the room to go up to the bar in a separate area of the restaurant.

I'm really hoping FH's parents will be happy to host, if not I can figure out how to pay for an open bar if deemed necessary. Hoping if that's the case not many people wanna get to crazy the night before the wedding, but FH's parents (mom in particular) can really rack up a bar bill.

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Girl I know she was in my mind when I made that comment, I just wanted yes or knows, not "just do this instead" cause that leaves me with more questions.

I think you have to balance this with how much you've asked your wedding party to invest in both time and money in support of your day. The rehearsal dinner is typically thought of as a Thank You to the wedding party for their time and support, and wedding party members can spend literally hundreds of dollars celebrating your happiness (dresses, shoes, tux, showers, bach/bachelorette, gifts, possible travel, etc.). If you've asked for all of these financial commitments from them, I do think it could come across negatively to exclude alcohol from the dinner, so maybe consider what you've asked out of them as you consider your decision.

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The only thing I have ASKED my bridal party for is for the girls to buy their dresses (they got to pick their own from Azazie as long as it was in the color I wanted, so they chose how much to spend) and for the guys to rent the suits ($279) and for my ring bearer, I purchased his suspenders and bow tie so I just told his mom to put him in nice pants and shirt (could be one he already owns I really don't care)

I know my MOH is planning a bachelorette trip and bridal shower which she and my bridesmaids chose to do on their own, no request from me was made, I let her know I didn't care if I had one or not, and I have been kept out of all planning for both, (I literally only know the dates for planning purposes).

I also purchased thank you gifts and spent probably $150 on each of my 7 bridesmaids and 7 grooms men.

I am very much hoping FH's parents are happy and agree when we ask if they'd like to host the rehearsal dinner. They have been complaining that they are not "involved" in the planning when they are "helping pay" however, we have not seen any of this supposed money they are providing. I'm hoping at the very least they will offer to cover an open bar if we pay for the dinner, but hoping to keep costs low if not considered tacky.

Thank you for your input

Most rehearsals I have been to were open beer and wine or full open bar. Would the restaurant allow just serving beer/wine?

This depends on the set up. If you do cash bar, will alcohol be listed on the physical menu offered to guests? I think it would be tacky for alcohol to be on the menu, for a guest to order it, then be told they have to pay. If alcohol does not appear on the menu, and the guest has to go up to the bar, pay there, and has the option of bringing their drink back to the table, that would be much less awkward.

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No menu would be on the table! Dinner would be served family style with options we would preselect. If guests want alcohol (regardless of if we decide cash bar vs open) guests would still need to go out to the bar which is in a separate area of the restaurant than where we would be.

View Quoted Comment This seems normal and fine to me. I used to work at a high end steakhouse which had an event room at the back of the restaurant and a bar in a separate area at the front. I saw multiple events where guests bought their own alcohol at the bar.



My own rehearsal was a dry event and I have no other personal experience to add. Hope that helps!

Are cash bars common in your social circle? For us, people would be horrified and talk badly among themselves if guests are invited to a dinner and asked to open their wallets. It’s also not common in our circles to serve wine or beer only at dinner.


Most open bar situations consist of prepaying a set price per person to drink whatever they wish that is offered in that price range with non alcoholic beverages free. Nothing else is offered outside of that. What you are describing as open bar is known as consumption where the tab is given at the end of the night. It is not a budget option because there is zero oversight.

I would avoid a cash bar. In my experience, most people don't drink much at rehearsal dinners and it shouldn't be too high of a bill. I hope your in-laws are open to paying for the tab!

I feel like if you're hosting an event like the rehearsal dinner, alcohol should be covered. What about putting wine on the tables and offering beer as well?

I wouldn't expect alcohol in this situation. Everyone in my circle drinks, but I wouldn't be put off by a cash bar. I like to drink, but alcohol isn't required at every social situation.

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Thank you, that's my feeling as well, especially the night before the wedding I don't see people wanting to get absolutely smashed. I also talked to some of our bridal party who feel the same way, and my crew likes to drink. We're considering just doing an open bar the first hour maybe then converting to a cash bar, but nothing is set in stone yet.

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I'm not sure if the restuarant would allow that, as on their website their only "Bar Options" for their party room is cash or open bar, but its worth an ask. We're considering just doing open bar first hour and cash bar after that.

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Honestly I think an open bar for an hour is a bad idea. I doubt the wedding party members will want to risk drinking the night before (getting sick, bloating, etc). It's also just an additional expense you don't need.