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Heidi
Dedicated September 2019

Table Assignments - Did you get backlash?

Heidi, on September 6, 2019 at 5:05 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 27
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Maybe because I’m in Nebraska and weddings here can be kind of casual sometimes, at least the ones I have been too.

I am assigning tables, not seats just the tables and I am making sure to keep people who don't like each other at separate tables, etc.

I have received a little bit backlash though, saying that open seating is better. I’m not changing it. Too late now and the thought of it stresses me. We are twenty days away.

Have you received backlash? The way I look at it is people will be at their tables for dinner and then will be up and mingling anyways. I just picture open seating to be a complete disaster and cliquey.

Trying to avoid a high school lunchroom scenario.

27 Comments

Latest activity by Lisa, on September 9, 2019 at 2:53 PM
  • Mary
    Expert July 2019
    Mary ·
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    We did not receive backlash for assigning tables, but did receive a request from the MIL very late in the game to switch two couples around. Thankfully, we did escort cards and no grand seating chart, so the impact was quite small but did cost us a rush fee for reprinting the four from the same seller. 😩
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    Whether you receive backlash or not, I think you are doing the right thing. I've learned that people who have never planned a wedding have no idea what it takes, and that some decisions are necessary, like this one.

    Without assigned tables, it could be chaos, or how you so eloquently put it, like a "high school lunchroom." That is so accurate!! Plus people have proven time and time again that given open seating, they just don't seat themselves efficiently, which causes more hassle for the bride and groom.

    Nope, stick to your guns, and feel good about it. I don't think you'll get any backlash on the day of your wedding, when everything goes smoothly, including guest seating! Good luck!

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  • Heidi
    Dedicated September 2019
    Heidi ·
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    This is what I’m trying to avoid. I created a Facebook group for my wedding party and family and posted the draft chart. They need to speak now or never lol
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I've gotten a few side eyes from those who aren't used to it, but no real comments yet.

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  • Yoice
    VIP March 2019
    Yoice ·
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    I didn’t get any backlash. I had some last minute people I couldn’t add to my friends table because they didn’t fit and I explained this to them. This couple is very friendly and they’ll make a wall talk back to you so I wasn’t worry about that, either way I told her to make sure it was ok. I didn’t have any issues in general. I personally prefer to know where to go and what table I’m assigned with instead of wondering around.
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    My grandma was adamant that we have open seating. And when it got mentioned that we assigned tables she scoffed, rolled her eyes, and walked away. Like why does it matter to them?? They didn't pay for anything, it's literally just your seat for an hour tops....you can go wherever you want after dinner!! sheesh.
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  • Heidi
    Dedicated September 2019
    Heidi ·
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    Exactly! It’s is just dinner.


    All these comments are making me feel better!
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  • Mrs. Bubba
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    Open seating would leave too many partially empty and full tables.

    This is your 🚌. If they don’t want to travel on your chosen route, then they’re more than welcome to get off at the very next 🛑.
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  • Laura
    Master October 2019
    Laura ·
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    We're not doing assigned seats or tables. I never really liked that at other weddings i've been too, so I didn't want it at ours, he didn't either. No judgement of other brides doing it though, just wasn't for us

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  • Sarah
    Devoted April 2022
    Sarah ·
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    Assigned tables is absolutely the way to go! Like you said, open seating will absolutely create a high school lunchroom scenario. People won’t seat themselves efficiently—they’ll take forever to do it, delaying your whole reception timeline, and they’ll end up leaving weird gaps at tables that leave some parties unable to sit together (i.e. a party of five takes up an eight-seat table, leaving an awkward amount of seats that the family of four who still needs to sit down can’t use). Your caterers, DOC, and all your other vendors will thank you, and you’ll spare yourself a massive headache.
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  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
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    Assigned tables are very common where I’m from - I have honestly never been to an open seating wedding.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I haven't received backlash about it but it's definitely better to do assigned tables for some order. That way people don't need to find their seats and create unnecessary chaos
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    It's so silly what guests think they're entitled to opinions about in the planning!
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  • L. Thomson
    Expert October 2020
    L. Thomson ·
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    I'm getting married on Nebraska (I live in Iowa) and I really debated about assigned seating. I decided I'm only going to assign family to the front tables, and friends can choose where they sit. That way I can make sure family get the front tables.
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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    Like Kelly, I've never been to a wedding with open seating. Just the thought of it makes my very organized self anxious! Thinking back to my coworker's wedding this past summer in which I only knew my 3 other coworkers who attended. Had we not had assigned seating, I doubt we would have found seats all together. We would have survived, but we enjoyed our time much more knowing that we didn't have to rush around finding seats together.

    My FMIL mentioned that people in their family will just pull up seats, so assigning tables isn't necessary, but that will decidedly NOT happen at my wedding. After dinner, I don't care one iota. But you bet your bottom dollar that you will have an assigned table for our dinner service. I'm going to forewarn my DOC so she can squelch any from his side who try to skirt the assignments.

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  • Heidi
    Dedicated September 2019
    Heidi ·
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    I was told that I would be so busy that I would not notice and that you can easily fit two more seats to a table that fits only eight. My MOH was like oh no...she’ll notice.

    I am settling with them being on their phone because they don’t do small talk 🤷‍♀️
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  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
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    We're assigning tables and possibly seats. I know a few people who could possibly cause drama and I'm trying to avoid it
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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    I got a scoff and eye roll from my stepmom. If my parents and my fiancé’s parents and grandparents weren’t such immature children about their ex husbands/wives it wouldn’t be necessary. But no way am I leaving it open so they can argue about who will sit at the table closest to me etc. I care zero percent about what my stepmom thinks, I’m standing firm. My other parents are happy about it because it takes some pressure off them making some tough social decisions.
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  • KimandLarry
    Dedicated June 2021
    KimandLarry ·
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    We're assigning tables, and seats. I don't want 2 families of 4 splitting up a table for 10 and leaving a couple sitting across from each other. Just takes the headache out of people wondering around trying to find enough room for their group. And we have people who don't get along and I'm putting them across the room from each other. We don't have to worry about step families or anything, our dads passed away years ago, so it's a matter of keeping his mom away from mine since they don't get along.

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  • VIP November 2021
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    We are having assigned tables - makes it easier for us and for guests to not feel awkward finding somewhere to sit
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