Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes August 2021

Switching moh and Bridesmaid ???

Lucy, on August 20, 2020 at 11:39 AM Posted in Planning 0 12

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hey guys, need some genuine help here. I’m stressing out.

I asked my best friend of like 8 years to be my maid of honour when I first got engaged about 6 months ago. Since then I was wondering if I did the right thing. Yes we’ve been best friends for ages, but sometimes I clash with her personality and have found her very passive aggressive and sometimes not the most pleasant to deal with. In saying that, she always has my best interest at heart and I love her no matter what.
I have always had a suuuuper close relationship with my Sister In Law, who I would also consider a best friend. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding, and I have asked her to be a bridesmaid in mine. But if I’m honest, she is WAY more wanting to help me with the wedding and is always messaging me asking how I’m coping with wedding planning stress, and all around just trying to be supportive.
Aside from all this, I feel like I want my MOH/My Witness to be the person I’ll be close with for many many years to come and I feel like that would be my SIL. How horrible would it be if I switched them and told my MOH that I would be, in a sense, demoting her ? I know she would be relatively okay with it because she knows the relationship I have with my SIL, but.. is it wrong ? Should I just leave it as is ? What would you guys do ?

Flag
Hide content

12 Comments

Latest activity by Willow, on August 20, 2020 at 3:33 PM

Legend July 2022
Lisa · on August 20, 2020 at 11:46 AM
Flag

Hide content
Are you opposed to having two MOHs? Since you already asked your friend to be your MOH, I wouldn't suggest switching things up unless there was a major falling out. The only change I would recommend is having both your friend and your future SIL as your MOHs.
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 20, 2020 at 11:51 AM
Flag

Hide content
I like Lisa’s suggestion because I feel like you don’t have to exactly have one. I had two
- Reply
Master September 2020
Jessica · on August 20, 2020 at 11:53 AM
Flag

Hide content
I made my cousin and my best friend co-MOHs, you could also make your FSIL Matron of Honor. I wouldn’t demote your friend unless you’re not interested in continuing to be friends at all. Even though she may be understanding about your relationship with FSIL, it’s still rude. MOH is just a title, not a job, and your friend isn’t required to be enthusiastic or check up on you or help you plan. It’s awesome that your FSIL is being really supportive, but you don’t have to demote someone else to honor her.
- Reply
Savvy May 2023
Haley · on August 20, 2020 at 11:56 AM
Flag

Hide content
I agree that considering having 2 maid of honors could help relieve the stress of demoting someone. But no, it’s not wrong or horrible to switch someone from MOH to a BM if they aren’t meeting your needs for it. I’m kind of in the same boat as you where my MOH is good and all but she isn’t as responsive to me when I need help planning and stuff while another BM has really helped me. I think I will end up having 2 MOH’s just to avoid any hurt feelings and falling outs. If you’re not wanting 2 MOH’s I’d suggest approaching her in the kindest way possible. Idk her that well but there could be a chance of her getting so upset she chooses to not be a BM at all, so just prepare for the different possible outcomes. Best of luck and happy planning!
- Reply
Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on August 20, 2020 at 12:08 PM
Flag

Hide content
I have two. I’m calling one “Maid of honor” and the other one “Chief Bridesmaid”.
- Reply
Just Said Yes August 2021
Lucy · on August 20, 2020 at 12:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
You make some good points. I really appreciate your feedback !! (:
- Reply
Just Said Yes August 2021
Lucy · on August 20, 2020 at 12:24 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thanks so much for your opinion !! I just felt stuck I didn’t know how to feel but it’s so helpful getting some other peoples opinions.
- Reply
Just Said Yes August 2021
Lucy · on August 20, 2020 at 12:25 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Nice idea !!
- Reply
Just Said Yes August 2021
Lucy · on August 20, 2020 at 12:26 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Just out of curiosity, did it match up on your partners side ?
I’m guessing everyone else was also chill with the idea of having two?
- Reply
Champion July 2019
Veronica · on August 20, 2020 at 12:28 PM
Flag

Hide content
Demoting your maid of honor could be a friendship ending move. I would just leave it as is. Your maid of honor should be the person closest to rather than the person who can do the most for you. It sounds like you picked your friend because she is the closest person to you so I would stick her as your maid of honor. I can tell you my maid of honor (my sister) did nothing to help me, but my sister-in-law (bridesmaid) was constantly messaging or calling me to see if I needed anything. I didn't switch just because my sister-in-law was more helpful.
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 20, 2020 at 12:29 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
My husband actually didn’t have a specific Best man. They were all groomsmen
- Reply

VIP September 2020
Willow · on August 20, 2020 at 3:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
That would be super awkward for the both of them.
- Reply