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Dedicated January 2020

Swapping out a groomsmen for a new one??

Amina, on May 28, 2019 at 5:59 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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FH currently has 11 groomsmen and we have 4 ushers which make up of my 2 younger brothers and 2 of his close cousins. One of FH’s usher cousins is now hurt that he isn’t a groomsmen even after making many comments that he wouldn’t want to stand up in front of everyone for so long during the ceremony. Now FH is considering making him a groomsmen but swapping out a current groomsmen to take the place of the cousin as an usher. I have told him he can’t do that as it’s extremely rude to the groomsmen who would be demoted and would definitely create hurt feelings and maybe even ruin friendships. Wedding party was asked in December and the wedding is in January. My opinion is that the cousin has his chance to be a groomsmen but said he didn’t want to be and it’s too late to change now. Please give advice!!

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Danielle, on May 29, 2019 at 3:08 PM

Master August 2019
Allie · on May 28, 2019 at 6:01 PM
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I agree with you. I would just keep it as is.
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Super September 2019
Selena · on May 28, 2019 at 7:32 PM
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Or just add him, and not "demote" another groomsmen.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on May 28, 2019 at 7:34 PM
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You're absolutely right in telling FH that demoting someone is wrong! Demoting the groomsman will definitely hurt feelings and possibly damage the friendship. FH needs to listen to you!
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Expert October 2019
Rachael · on May 28, 2019 at 7:42 PM
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Totally agree with you. He said he didn't want to be one, so your FH didn't make him be. If he did want to be he shouldn't have claimed otherwise in the first place. And definitely would be so rude to the other gms & could risk even ruining the relationship with the one who he'd demote.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on May 28, 2019 at 9:17 PM
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Completely agree with you.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on May 29, 2019 at 11:24 AM
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"Swapping out" a groomsmen or usher is rude. Adding one is less rude, even though he is just being added because he made a mean comment, but swapping someone out shouldn't be an option so I agree with you.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on May 29, 2019 at 3:08 PM
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I agree with you..that would be rude. I think you should keep things how they are. This way, less feelings get hurt and things don't get too complicated.
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