Surviving a broken engagement?

Hello all,

I need some advice...I'm 23 years old and my (boyfriend, ex-fiance? I don't even know what to call him) is 24. He proposed to me 2 years ago but we haven't been enagaged for a few months. A little backstory, my guys relationship and mine has always been a little strained...we started out with a long distance relationship and finally got to be with each other after a few years of talking and video chatting online. I was going through a lot of personal stuff because I moved across the world for him and I wasn't good at dealing with stress, because my life compared to his has been very stressful since I was a child...and I often took that stress out on him without meaning to. He has always been there for me even online. We didn't take it slow...when we first met we spent almost every day together even though I was going to school and moved in together shortly after. Our relationship became stressful, we spent every day together and we've had some issues in the past (he slept with someone else when we were in a long distance relationship) but we didn't even know if we would really be together at that point untill after i moved. I had a lot of doubt in him and when he proposed I was happier than ever...but he took it back because we fought a lot and we said awful stuff to eachother and I took off the ring, so he took the engagement back. However it's like since the pressure of that is off...we've been doing better than ever. He admitted he didn't want to marry me because he's scared of our past relationship...and because we're both still young he also doesn't know what he wants for himself in life yet. He doesnt think he would be a good husband if he is unhappy with himself. He still loves me very much and doesn't want to lose me and I feel the same. My question is...is it okay to just...take a step back from moving too fast at the wrong time to just focus on eachother and see if it can lead to marriage someday? I hope that since things are getting better he might be willing to consider marriage with me again because I love him so much and I do want everything...but I literally scared him out of him I think because of my previous life struggles and my inability to deal with them in a healthy way. we have several family and friend weddings coming up and I know attending them is going to be hard...especially because I don't know what to tell people. Any advice on attending weddings when you're no longer enagaged too?