Surprise wedding!

I think a DOC is super worth it. Especially when guests don't know it's a wedding. What will guests think they are attending?

If you are okay with certain people possibly missing your wedding then sure, I just know that if family doesn't know it's a wedding and thinks they are just missing a party they may be hurt that they couldn't share in your special day

View Quoted Comment We plan on telling our families when we got everything settled out i.e vendors, food etc.. felt like we don’t need a DOC since it’ll be mostly DIY minimalist wedding. The rest of the night will be partying, drinking and eating.

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Oh! Okay so they will know it's the wedding before they arrive AT the wedding? I think I misunderstood your post. If that's the case then go for it, sounds like that is what you guys would prefer. Also I agree a DOC does not feel necessary with this style of wedding.

I know someone who did this, and honestly it didn’t really go over too well. But theirs was small, at home, on Valentine’s Day, with only their parents and kids and one sibling (who got ordained online). But no one knew what was happening until they got there, and it seemed very awkward.

If you want to do this, go ahead, but as PP said people may skip thinking it’s just a party and then be very disappointed later.

I think you may be setting yourself up for drama. What happens if a close family member decides to skip that party because it isn't convenient, they have a cold, or whatever--and only later learns that they missed your wedding?

View Quoted Comment Oh, I just saw this after I posted! There’s no problem with waiting until details are sorted to tell people, as long as they know before they come!

View Quoted Comment Hi there. Plan is to DIY everything. We live minimalist lifestyle. DOC are way expensive for our budget especially here in NYC.

We will have them think it’s a going away party since we will be moving.

We are planning a surprise wedding and they will not know til they get there. We are having a birthday party for our daughter (a royal princess theme, and guests are asked to "dress to impress") and then they think there will be a "surprise dinner" for the birthday girl after and the invite says "you wont want to miss this!".....our families never miss our kiddos birthday celebrations. And honestly, if someone said they couldn't come, we both seem okay with spilling the beans to them prior to the wedding and asking them to keep it quiet. We would like it to remain a secret, but our main purpose behind this idea is so we can have it exactly the way we want it with no outside opinions on "oh, you need this, or that..." etc. We are very minimalist with this as well. Our wedding will consist of some sort of aisle runner (not traditional, I'm thinking just rose petals lining the aisle), a dress for me and our daughter, jeans, nice shirt, and blazer for my SO and our son, and an arch we are making. No extra decoration. And our photographer, DJ, and officiant are all close friends who would die before missing this. They've all been pushing so hard for this to happen! Haha.

Also, our guests dont (and wont) know we are even planning a wedding at all, as technically we arent "engaged". Skipping the engagment part and going straight for the wedding. We've been together 7 years and lived together 5 years raising 2 kids. We arent wasting anymore time. but I will be getting my ring in January (earliest she can make it) so I'll be wearing it whenever I can as soon as it arrives! Haha

Also, the venue we have does catering (food and beverage) so we will still have a dinner as the invite says. with a champagne toast and all!

We're also from NYC doing a surprise wedding but the guests won't find out until they arrive. Well almost, we've decided to tell the parents and the bridal party the day before so we can actually rehearse. I'm working from behind the scenes and my man is doing all the leg work. The cover up is he will tell people he wants to propose (and also turn the event into an engagement party because of course I'm gonna say yes) and so he needs everyone there. That way, the parents, my sisters and friends will still feel like they were involved and helped, because they will be all too thrilled to help him plan this proposal. They've been waiting a long time lol. We don't have a venue as of yet but we're hoping for one of the beaches out in Long Island, so if that works out, we're thinking of renting a coach bus for our guests (will only be about 50) to travel to and from. If the bus thing works out, we will have a video play on the bus, announcing they are really on their way to our wedding. An alternate plan is to have invitations made that are given out as guests arrived at the ceremony ("proposal" venue), that read something to the effect of "surprise! you're really at our wedding." We're in the early stages so who knows what will really stick but that's what we've got planned thus far.

Ok whoa, I'm just seeing your date says July 2019 and that has passed lol so guess I'm a little late here! But how did it go? Now YOU should share thoughts, ideas, and tips!!