Surprise Wedding

There is a thread with almost the same title as your located on the first page...

Please have a look for the identical thread recently posted.

I, for one, don't think surprise weddings are a good idea.

Personally I think it's a terrible idea.

Check out this exact same thread also on the first page though.

Https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/surprise-wedding-venue-question/95af3f12813f49dc.html

There's an identical thread on here..

Is this the same op? Literally same question..

ETA: words

There are some things you should keep in mind. If you are having a surprise wedding and disguising it as an engagement party, there are likely going to be people who wont attend that would have attended your wedding. For example any out of town guests. So you need to make sure that the most important people to you will attend the party.

Also tell the venue and any vendors. I would also consider telling your immediate family. I might be mad if one of my brothers did this because I would have like to have been prepared. If a friend did it as a surprise I would think it was cute.

Another thing, gifts for an engagement party and wedding party will be different. If I knew I was going to a wedding I would likely give a higher dollar gift than the physical gift I might give at an engagement party.

Thanks everyone....I posted this before reading the other. Thank you for the advice though

No worries, Sacha. Why not change your avatar and join us here?

Depending on what you are planning on telling those who are invited be prepared for people to not show. Someone may be more likely to blow off a party or get together than they are to blow off a wedding.

Also, food,chairs,cake,linens,drinks, and I'm sure there are more are all dependent on the actual head count of those who plan on being in attendance it would be difficult to estimate how many will be going unless you still send out invites and rsvps and call it a different event...if that makes sense.

I have a friend who did it and it turned out great. It was on her husbands birthday, I like the fact that only their true supporters came to the event as it should be. It seems to me that EVERYBODY wants to support a wedding but only the closest will drop everything for other events that are special to the couple. Their wedding was more laid back but everyone was totally excited!

Hi Sacha,

I am actually on the same boat as you. We are currently planning a surprise wedding. We already have the venue, cake, officiant, etc.. and so far, the only people that know about it are the two of us and our vendors. We've been together for 10 years and have finally decided that we want to get married (imagine that.. lol) and we have always wanted a small wedding with only close friends and family. BUT, knowing our parents, they want to make it HUGE, and invite everybody we don't even know. Don't get me wrong about our parents though, they love us dearly, but it's more of a cultural thing that the parents invite everyone. So you see the dilemma?

So, what we have decided to do is to actually make a formal engagement party as a cover for a surprise wedding, since it's pretty common in our culture to have formal engagement. We don't want to make it obvious to others of our plans, which is why I don't even have my ring yet. I don't know when and how he's going to "officially" proposed, but I know that it will be just the right time before our "engagement party" because we don't want too long in-between time from the proposal to the party (again, to make it less obvious it'll actually be a wedding). We know it's pretty sneaky, but at least it'll be how we both want it. And besides, what we want is just for our friends and family to come and enjoy the day with us. And, I've been hinting for a while at my close friends that since I probably will not be getting the wedding i want (cuz of parental issues), I want to have an intimate formal engagement instead, and so far they have all been on board with the idea.

Truth be told, we know that there would be some initial backlash from our parents. SO, what we have decided to do is to actually tell them maybe a week before the wedding (so at least they wouldn't get caught off guard ). And, to compromise the situation, we have decided that if THEY (the parents) want to throw us a second "wedding", they are more than welcome to. And they can arrange it however way they want, we will be there. At least that way everybody will be happy. We get what we want, and they get what they want (*praying for it*).

As far as out of town relatives, I will explain to them why I would want them to come for the engagement party as opposed to the wedding day. If they can make it, great, but if they can't, that's fine too, at least I already told them the importance of it. And as for a MUST come relative, I will them the real reason if I have to.

And I like what @Lilian said above .. if they really care about you, they'll show up.. (hence CLOSE friends and family)..

No offense to the people that doesn't like the idea of surprise wedding, but I think it's your big day- you both should decide how you want it to be and not have to stress about how others think.. It's your wedding, and not them.. I see no reason why they should be mad or angry if they can't make it to your wedding if they were invited. I don't know about you, but I will be sending an "engagement invitation" at least a month in advance, and I think that's a pretty good time frame for your close friends to arrange their schedule.

As far as the big reveal, I am planning to tell my wedding party that I want to have a photoshoot (for pictures to display at the "wedding"), so that they'll come ready and prepare with hair/make up, etc.. I'll tell the girls that they can wear whatever they want, as long as it's in the color shade of the wedding.. As for the guys, we figure that most likely they all have black slacks and white dress shirt, so they can just wear that for the "photoshoot" and we'll provide them the tie.. For the guests, we're still figuring out how to break the news.. I'm not sure between handing out a "surprise" wedding program or actually announcing it to them..

Sorry for the SUPER long post.. Hopefully that kinda helps.. Praying that your wedding will go exactly how you both want it to be.. If we can trade ideas, that'll be awesome too! Good luck!