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I’m not understanding the message in the context of postponing your wedding? The message makes it sound like you planned a wedding in 8 months which was too much in a short period for your family (I don’t personally have a problem with that time frame) so not sure how postponing relates to what’s being said in the texts.

As someone who had a nasty, nasty fight with my sister over my wedding, during which I said things I didn't mean and will always regret, I beg you to step away from the conversation until you can cool down. These are very highly emotional times. I know you love this person--I can tell because of the way you reacted to her hurtful words.

Tell us the situation, vent to us and let us help you through it. Everything is going to be okay.

Omg this is crazy. I hope that you two can figure your relationship out, I definitely would just leave her alone for the time being though. No need to keep arguing and stressing over her.

Hello. I do not know the context but just reading things from the beginning it sounds like you are putting a lot expectations and pressure on people and they are frustrated? I do not know what caused this so I cannot say for sure.

Being a bride is stressful and yes there are a lot of things we want for our big day and sometimes we can get a little obsessed about it. I agree with pp to take a step back. I will say this, your relationships needs to be good because after your wedding you do not want bad blood with friends or family. I am not sure what caused this fight and who is to blame but yes cool off, back off and reflect on things that caused this. Maybe ask your FH what he thinks and maybe she is in the wrong but also be open and willing to hear if you messed up somewhere too.

Definitely stop replying to her texts for now until you collect your feelings and are able to respond in a calm, productive manner. It's probably a conversation better had face-to-face once you are both ready. Shooting off messages like this over text will only make the situation worse.

Ummm, in short - not that. In that exchange, your sister (I'm guessing?) came off as the more mature person in explaining her thoughts and feelings. I can't say if her depiction of you is accurate, but your reaction to her statements didn't do very much to disprove it.

It is incredibly challenging, especially in the heat of the moment, to step back and collect yourself. It takes thought and practice ahead of time (just thinking on how you might re-do old situations in the future), because in the moment all bets are basically off.

I don't think you're a bad person (and it sounds like your sister doesn't either, just that some of your current actions are coming off as selfish). In times where people have questioned my actions/ motives, I've tried to reframe it that I'm not a bad person, but I have clearly not done a great job of showing that person who I want them to see me as. If "selfish" is your sister's current view of you and that's not what you're aiming for, then it comes to you to be introspective and hear her without defensiveness.

You may want to gather yourself and regroup in person, if possible - I don't think either of you is hearing each other right now. Good luck.

Step back and breathe. I get you seem like you’re at a breaking point but you may need a breather. Why do you need to postpone? That’s not clear. But it seems you are expecting a lot of others, and/or exploding all over them which isn’t fair. You & your fiancé plan your wedding—nobody else should be stressed. Your sister seemed quite mature & sincere. Your texts were very bridezilla—wedding stress does that! Stop. Cry. Re-evaluate. Sounds like you need a break & a hug.

View Quoted Comment Honestly, all of this.


You added screenshots that don't seem to corroborate what you wrote (it doesn't seem to be about postponement at all.) I also agree that they paint you, and not your sister, in a very poor light.

Yeah im not understand.. 8 months isnt enough time...

View Quoted Comment

8 months is ABSOLUTELY ENOUGH TIME. We planned our wedding in 6 months.

But I think what she said to you was actually rather sincere and kind.

I am not sure what you are asking her to do in this text and why she is calling you selfish--but it's possible you are not at all thinking about how your wedding and your situation effects other people, the ones who care about you.

This text seemed like she didn't want to hurt your feelings, but you need to remember, everybody else's world does not revolve around your wedding.

You are not a bad person. Your emotions caused you to get defensive. I have also gotten caught up in my emotions and reacted to something else when I should've just let it go.

I second the comments suggesting, you take a break.