SUPER budget conscious

"Maybe that's for some people, but I feel like there has to be more people in a mindset similar to mine."

This has nothing to do with mindset. This has to do with having a reception that properly thanks the people in your life for celebrating with you. There are people on here with all sorts of budgets, and the advice is the same to all of them -- have the wedding you can afford without treating your guests poorly. Simple. But providing them with food that could make them sick just so you can have more money for a honeymoon is not gratitude.

You can do a wedding for $3,000. Find a free/very cheap place for the ceremony with little to no decorations, and then host a small dinner reception at a restaurant with your VERY closest family and friends. No one is saying it is impossible...it's just very important to properly host.

I am having a wedding on a budget but I know that that means the sacrifice I have to make is only inviting close friends and family. I'm sorry, I know it is hard to cut people off your list but it sounds like the only option at this point.

My only input is your plan could potientally be illegal. Many counties require catering or food handling permits even for home cooked food, when served in a public areas. Even for non profit events.

I think the OP was hoping to find people in a similar boat, not get advice on how she's doing it all wrong. If I was invited to a wedding in a park where I knew what the deal was, I'd still come to celebrate with the couple, and would have a realistic expectation of how I was going to "be hosted." OP, do what you want...obviously a lot of people here have different ideas, but I'm sure there are other people somewhere doing this.

I am in the same boat as you. Dont feel bad. Im scared to even post on here about my wedding cause i feel like people are going to jump down my throat. My budget is 5000 for 200 people. Im using a lot of "friendors". Lol i dont care though. What works for me might not work for you. But then again... Im in a one stop light town with not very high social classes.

Just because other people do this doesn’t make it right. Other people have things like cash bars and dry weddings, doesn’t make them right.

I'd still imagine there would be food. Even when I have my son's birthday party at the park we have food, usually pizza. Also, CG, most parks require a permit, and there's usually limits to the amount of people permitted.

It's also illegal in a lot of parks and beaches around me to have open alcohol, or even serve it.

I was once at a reception when the fire alarm went off. False alarm, but great pictures of the B&G with the firefighters and truck. Having your reception busted for open container in a public park. Not so much fun.

All you need to get married are you, future spouse, officiant, and in SOME states 2 witnesses. That is 5 people, so yes, you can cut that guest list if it is over 5 people. It is physically possible. Try again. So I'm calling BS.

Even immediate family, I refuse to believe is 275 people with only parents, siblings, grandparents and SOs. That's more than two Duggar sized families (20 kids 20 SOs 2 parents 4 grandparents= 46 people per side x 2 sides (for your spouse to also have an immediate family of 46 people= 92 people).

I am from a podunk, backwoods town. The average income is under 20k per family. My grandmother would roll over in her grave if I hosted improperly. There is no excuse for greed and bad etiquette. Manners surpass social classes.

@CG idk about you but if the OP asked me to BYOB to a park, I'd be pretty pissed when the cops show up to hand out citations.

Also as someone who has gotten pretty ill from self catering I'd turn around the second I see a bunch of crockpots sitting out.

Listen OP. I am also under budget control. But I will not self cater or have anyone cook. If you dont want to go the cheaper route by doing Bbq or somewhere like Olive Garden...for all thats safe and holy PLEASE go to your local Publix Kroger or some grocery store and get boxes of chicken and buckets of baked beans Cole slaw and potato salad. Then go get some cup cakes or a few sheet cakes and call it a day .

@jamie no greed and no bad etiquette here. Im still having catering, open bar, dj, photographer, etc. Just stating that it can be done. Im making those "cuts" as well. But where I am from you can still host a nice wedding with all the accomadations for 200 people under 5000. I CANT WAIT to have an amazing ceremony and reception just so I can get on here and tell EVERYONE how awesome my day was for 5000 for 200 people.

@Kendra-what is the breakdown of that $5000 budget?

Kendra, that's fine. In my area, it is not feasible to host 200 guests for $5k, and definitely not for $3k. Hell its been hard enough trying to host 35 for $5k, thus a budget increase happened.

Friendors can work out, they can fail. It's a risk I won't take. One of my friends is a HMUA, another two friends own DJ companies, one is a wedding photographer. If I use any of their services, I will pay. I'm not going to exploit my friendship to get deals on things for my wedding.

@Kendra J. Oh I totally believe you can throw an amazing wedding on a budget. It's the using of the words like "mindset" like OP used that bug me. People that try to justify their poor hosting because that's what they want to do and everyone just needs to deal with it....that drives me nuts.

Reading some of the responses on this thread made me laugh so hard that I started choking.....

Laughing aside, open containers in public areas is strictly regulated in a lot of the US, and serving alcohol in a public place like a park in most cases requires someone to be legally responsible for making sure that only people over 21 are served alcohol. Some parks just require you to get a permit and liability insurance for the event, but if you are planning on hosting that many people then they will likely require bartenders as well if they don't deny your alcohol permit outright.

Like PPers have said, while crockpot meals are awesome to make for yourself or loved ones in your own home, and while it's perfectly legal to "self-cater" it's not the wisest decision. Most parks usually don't have enough or any outlets to run the roughly 20-25 crockpots needed to feed 200 people and leaving the food unplugged for hours while people are forgetting to put lids on and foreign material potentially getting mixed into the food means that it's likely that at least one or two of your guests will become violently ill.

If your budget is extremely tight and you'd rather not spend "30k on 100 people", but you still "want" to celebrate with all 200 people on your guest list then you could consider having a courthouse ceremony then hosting a mid-afternoon celebration later on where all you need to worry about is food and drink. If it's early in the afternoon and you get food catered from an Italian or Chinese restaurant then 3-5k might be sufficient to feed everyone. However, if you are sold on having a wedding where everyone who witnesses the ceremony goes to the reception then I would cut back your list to just your innermost of circles (~10-50 people depending on how much you spend on your attire and photographer) and take them all out to a nice restaurant afterwards.

Oh geeze...dump meals? Crock pots? Cut your guest list and hire a caterer.

@Kourtney E. I didn't say anything about catering. I think there are plenty of ways to do food cheaply without getting people sick. I just mean to cut out extra things in general. For example: favors, lots of decorations, perfectly matching attire for the bridal party, a big cake for everyone to eat, etc. Everyone gets to choose how they spend their budget, so maybe we could all stop reading into other people's comments and give actual advice to the OP that could benefit her.