Suggestions to limit how many kids attend your destination wedding?

I don't really think there's any way to do this in a manner where parents will feel comfortable leaving their children either in their home country or in a different country. Have you thought about hiring a babysitter and maybe doing a room at the venue for the kids?

I think the only polite way to invite some kids and not all is only invite family's kids, but sounds like your friends have kids that are causing the debate?
Especially having a destination wedding in think it's too difficult to make them adult only weddings.
We had a destination wedding and invited kids and somehow none of the families with kids came.

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That is one of the options we are looking into right now. If the venue permits us to use a space for a "kids room" or something, then parents might feel more comfortable leaving their kids with a stranger if the kids are in the same building less than 100 feet away.

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That's really going to be your best bet here. Either that or accept that a lot of people aren't going to come if they can't bring their children.

Honestly there is no nice way to go about it. You either invite all children or none. We had a kids free wedding except for the children in the bridal party and the one groomsman's 6 month old baby who we asked them not to bring, but they decided to bring her anyways. She was not breastfeeding so we saw no reason for the child to attend, but the groomsman's wife is extremely difficult and decided to ignore our wishes. Our wedding was only an hour and half from where most of our guests were coming from so people had no problem leaving their children at home with babysitter's they hired, but since your wedding is in another country I can understand why people are hesitant to leave their children. I don't have any children, but I wouldn't want to leave a child with a stranger even if they are being watched 100 feet from where I was. I say you can either accept that you have to invite everyone's children or none and that people may choose not to attend if you don't allow children.

I feel like your initial message may get lost in translation and guests may feel forced to leave their kids at home while others may feel they cannot attend because of it. We are having a destination wedding with no kids under 21 (about 75 guests) with the exception of the bride and grooms siblings (my FH has a 2 year old sister and 4 year old brother !!)
i think there needs to be a cut and dry rule otherwise people may not know what to do.

Honestly, I don’t think this is possible with a DW. You can have a “no kid” local wedding then honeymoon in Mexico. Or go elope In Mexico then have a “kid free” reception back home.