Successful Marriage

Communication is key. matching effort, boundaries, compromise.

Communication, trust, compromise.

Communication and honesty. Being able to accept each other’s faults and to work and grow together

Learning how to listen to understand over listening to respond, not jumping into solving your partner’s problem and always being their ally! Making shared meanings- little routines that are for the two of you such as “three taps means I love you,” going to get groceries together, kiss goodbye every morning, etc. accepting when either one of you needs a break to calm down before continuing a stressful conversation. Honesty always.

Celebrated our 47th wedding anniversary this year. Looking back at the rough times', there are two things I strongly suggest...........one.... fight FAIR. Never disrespect your spouse during a fight, stick to the issue and the reasons and core beliefs you have that make you feel/think the way you do. Two............. know that you will fall in and out of love with your spouse multiple times during a successful marriage. Be determined to stick it out until you fall in love with them again. My longest wait was about a year. I have never regretted it. Please understand that I am not talking about major issues, I am talking about the mundane day to day discouragement that we all feel once in a while, married or not. Those times when we blow our unhappiness out of proportion and fear that we will never be happy again unless we make a big change. I know as a younger wife I expected my husband to make me happy, that's not something they can do when life gets tough or boring.

I agree communication is important, but that comes in lots of forms, actions speak louder than words. Sometimes beating a dead horse does NOT help. It makes you feel less connected and often some completely outside force will make the decision for a couple when they agree to disagree about the issue. Not every problem has to be solved immediately, sometimes you just have to sit back until some other situation changes the circumstances of the issue. Example, hubby wanted to buy a house, I wasn't ready. 8 months later we were pregnant and needed more room, that changed the situation for me and it was time to buy a house.

View Quoted Comment I learned so much from this response and agree !

View Quoted Comment 💗 that was beautiful

Communication, communication, communication. Couple's therapy, too. (FH and I went before we were engaged, we called it our "tune up" and it was SO helpful.)

Trust and balance between shared and separate lives.

Honesty, trust, and respect would be my top three!